Ian the player likes to put on his smart shirt and trousers, cover himself in aftershave and smooth talk the ladies. That doesn't mean he won't crush you.

Don't try getting smart with Aggressive Neil. He doesn't suffer fools gladly. If he even suspects you of being slightly foolish he'll splinter your bones with a crushing pre-emptive blow. And then laugh about it later with his friends.

Sian has a tiny face. This has lead to her nickname of Bead Face. Everybody agrees that this is highly amusing.

When it comes to stacked sweatiness Billy has pretty much cornered the market. He'll chop you down, make you tap-out and is no stranger to applying the finish.

Peter Spink drinks till he can't open his eyes any more. This amuses his brother Billy a great deal.

You might think alcoholism would inhibit a players performances. Not in Glenn's case. In his drunken state he'll weave his way to the end zone. Not even he knows where he's going.

Although Matt is a gangly lanky bead he has enough gas to make fools of you all and won't think twice about a bit of side-stepping on his way to the end zone.

Hayley is quite simply the most aggressive Ghoul in the game. She enjoys nailing chumps left right and centre. Although she is not technically a midget she can certainly be considered almost 'stunty'.

This guy tried dodging past Ian. Ian didn't let him.

Aytul hates everyone. Even her closest friends frequently experience a harsh tongue lashing. Likes Craig David - a fact that almost saw her kicked off the team.

Dan loves pirate films and alcohol. Fill him with beers and just watch him strike a pose.

Lisa's in training to become the next Ian. In her spare time she likes to play with Tony's snake.

Not only is Tony a huge beast but he also owns a collection of swords. I mean - how dangerous is this man?? He's a lethal weapon. Enjoys Lisa playing with his snake.

Ross loves bashing skulls and cider. He's a match winner. Opposition players are often distracted by his wonderful curly hair.

Strangely enough for a zombie, Danielle cannot stand the sight of blood. Has a hatred of smelly tramps, especially when they have vomitted on themselves.

Ben is a zombie. Enough said.