Traitor. Filth. Coward. Liability. Turt's inability to perform ANY action, and his tendency to get 'knocked out' and leave the stadium in the early minutes of a match, make him a villain with the fans and team alike. Why Tenderly Tootsy continues to pick Turt for the first team is confusing, alarming and a fucking disgrace.

Puce is Tootsy's latest experiment. After posing as a surgeon to amputate a famous tapdancer's feet, the Tin Soldiers' head coach grafted the removed appendages to Puce's ankles. Now he's a little nimbler and a little less likely to go down.

Formerly a beastman playing for Nurgle's Rudeboyz, Karlo never felt like there was ENOUGH rotting going on in his team dressing room. Naturally he was delighted when Tenderly Tootsy resurrected him as an undying zombie to play for the Tin Soldiers.

Ele the Elf got his brains clubbed out one sunny day while playing for the Toisarus Occasionals against the Tin Soldiers. Tenderly Tootsy immediately saw potential in his slim cadaver, so performed the neccesary rituals to 'recruit' the player. Ele's elvish instincts made him a hit with the supporters when he stylishly intercepted a long bomb in a match against the Tempest Storms. A fan club petition was circulated and in response Tootsy handed Ele the squad captaincy.