Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
- Winston Churchill

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

--Dean Martin

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

--Ambrose Bierce

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
- Tom Waits

"I enjoy drinking. It loosens people up and stimulates conversation. Somehow it's like gambling; you go out for a night of drinking, and you don't know where you'll end up the next morning."

-- Jim Morrison

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
- Frank Sinatra

Back in 1979, when George was all tore down on coke and liquor, he experienced some difficulty onstage at a Nashville club. The wobbly country star could open his mouth, but he was unable to sing. He told the audience "My friend Deedoodle the Duck is going to take over this show, because Deedoodle can do what George Jones can't". Jones then sang the entire set in a Donald Duck voice.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools
- Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- Ernest Hemingway

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

-Stephen Wright

"I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings."

-- Jackie Gleason