Vinnie is a bit nuts, so don't mess with him or he'll squeeze yours.

A passion for kicking fans, especially fat Crystal Palace supporters and any one 'oo looks at me funny' gives Eric great flair for the game. The parts that involve kicking people anyway.

A thieving pikey, with a mean left hook.

Brutal, savage and a bit of an animal with more bite than a pepperami. He will quite happily chew your ears off if you even think about taking to the field with him.

'C'mon then you mug, don't try and mug me off else I'll take you outside and open you up son!'
Don't mess with Frank, he'll call you a two bob... and then fill you in.

Doesn't like to brush and likes over the top style Mr T jewellery. And violence.

At over 7'3" Nik is a big fella, and he likes to fight, a lot... comrades.

A thieving little @%*! who will quite happily burgle your house and stamp on your face while filming some happy slapping action on his mobile phone.

Puts on a terrrible 'cockney wideboy accent' but does hand out a superb beating. What else you gonna do on a Saturday?

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

On loan from the Mr Men, bounces all over the place.
BOUNCE! BOUNCE! BOUNCE!

a troll who began as a hired thug. He then became a splatter (like a bouncer, but trolls use more force) at the Mended Drum.