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'Greasy' Asparagusson earnt his name in a match against the 'Order of the Pick' where he failed to handle the ball on multiple occasions. He has since been repeatedly whipped and the coach hopes he has learnt from his mistakes.
Injured in his second game he now finds the coach plays him on the line of scrimage in every match. Asking his coach why this suddenly started happening he replied "You're our star scorer, you have to be as close to the TD line as possible!"
Poor sod.