"Teach him phenomenology."

"Don't give me any of that intelligent life crap, just give me something I can blow up"

Boiler: What's Talby's first name?
[pause]
Lt. Doolittle: What's my first name?

"I do not like the men on this spaceship. They are uncouth and fail to appreciate my better qualities. I have something of value to contribute to this mission if they would only recognize it. Today over lunch I tried to improve morale and build a sense of camaraderie among the men by holding a humorous, round-robin discussion of the early days of the mission. My overtures were brutally rejected. These men do not want a happy ship. They are deeply sick and try to compensate by making me feel miserable. Last week was my birthday. Nobody even said happy birthday to me. Someday this tape will be played and then they'll feel sorry."

Computer: Sorry to interrupt your recreation, fellows, but it is time for Sgt. Pinback to feed the alien.
Sgt. Pinback: Awww, I don't wanna do that!
Computer: May I remind you, Sgt. Pinback, it was your idea to bring the alien on board in the first place. If I may quote you, you said the ship needed a mascot.
Sgt. Pinback: [walking away in disgust] Awwwwww, I gotta do everything around here...

Bomb#20: In the beginning, there was darkness. And the darkness was without form, and void.
Boiler: What the hell is he talking about?
Bomb#20: And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved upon the face of the darkness. And I saw that I was alone. Let there be light.