The lumbering rat mountain that is Hesky will fight tooth and claw for the ball, only to fall over at the worst possible moment in an effort to secure a penilty even if he is stood/lying in his own 10yrd box.

Keano is as violent a rat as you are likely to meet, on the pitch he is a one man wrecking crew, breaking arms, legs and the occasional heart even when off the pitch and enjoying a walk with his pet pooch he'll turn on hapless passersby just for looking too much like a papaRATzi.

Henry(pronounced: On-Ree, just in case you meet him, cos he hates it when people get his name wrong)is the worst kind of rat, a Bretonnian rat, he is so full of himself and va-va-voom its difficult to know where the player stops and the self inspired bull-shit begins but don't let his froggy themed antics fool you, he's one of the best in the game(not quite sure what at tho!).

The youngster Walcott is an unproven Quantity as his recent trip to the Rat Cup in the Empire left him crying into his cheese when the team manager Rat Rat'n Ratterson didn't see him eating the teams supply of gorganzola at the back of the bus, forgot he was there altogether and failed to include him in any of the matches.

The single most volatile rat in all of Albion BB, a truly gifted player with pace, skill, love for the elderly ladies out there and the most explosive temper this side of the Mersey, he is just as likely to score a superb TD on his own or with a neat assist as he is to break both your legs and try to feed you your own feet...

Hargreaves history is just as weird as the rat himself, born in Albion raised in the Empire, a truely gifted support to the midfield who until recently played like a wet kipper(flopping around and smelling a bit)and crazy curly hair to boot, much is speculated regarding his future but who cares as long as he still eats the cheese and plays the Blood Bowl.

Ferdinand lives by the motto of his home county "yorkshire born, yorkshire bred, strong in arm, thick in 'ed" and their is non thicker than our Ferdinand, if he's not befouling the field of play with his silly hair and incontinence problems, he actually can marshall his fellow rats into a strong defence(as strong a defence as 11 man size vermin can muster).

Ballack, one of the foreign signings to 'Red' Lest(as the fans call 'em)came to the club free of charge from the Empire team Byern Midderland tempted by the promise of cheese and all the lady rats he could shake his baby maker at, his presence on the field is patchy at best with the occasional cheese and woman induced flurry.

Cole is famous for only two things and neither is his football, firstly his contrversial on/off move from Albion rivals Arsenic-al FC which ended with Cole joing 'Red Lest' for an undisclosed sum(rumoured to be several large pieces of the finest red leicester), secondly his romance and recent marriage to Cheryl Twitchy of the famous music group(i use the words famous and music very, very loosly)Rats Aloud

On Shevchenkos signing as the most expensive player in Albion history hopes were high for the new foreign player but the hopes didn't stay high for very long and due to Shevy's current crappy form he has been demoted to boot boy till he can find his arse, pull his thumb from up and start playing football again and not the turds he's been producing of late disguised as football matches.