%!*£ Rating: 8 / 10

He's not so much a dirty keeper like Schumacher as just a complete muppet. Nazi saluting to the Spurs fans down at 'The Lane' is just plain dumb. Also turning from a good golakeeper to a rubbish one by going to 'Man Utd' is quite poor too. Bitch Slap for Bosnich 8/10

%!*£ Rating: <b>7 / 10</b>

Though not producing any world class moments of cheating, his sheer consistency of being dirty and his ability to always get away with it earns Roberto a solid 7 / 10.

%!*£ Rating: <b>6 / 10</b>

Filthy player. But the fact he's actually a good player stops him from getting up to a solid 7 / 10. Maybe when he gets older and only has his dirty play it may rise though.

CAPTAIN FANTASTIC

%!*£ Rating: 9/ 10

This guy was the scourge of any opposition he came up against. The most uncompromising, tough tackling, hard bastard footballer i've had the pleasure to watch in the Premiership. I like Roy, but he does deserve to be in because, so many others don't like him. Offen people don't like other people because they're just too good and i think this is the case with Roy, certainly more so than the rest of this dirty lot.

The best example of Keano doing what he does best was when he waited 3 years to get Alf Inge Haaland with a hard tackle and then did. Hard tackle may be something of an under-statement........... vicious hack might be too, but does come closer. I'm hoping as my new team captain he's gonna motivate them to new heights.

Go on, give him some and see what he does to ya. I DARE YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(He's got a dodgy knee now tho, hence the lower AV.)

%!*£ Rating: <b>10 / 10</b>

Stamped on a players head, started a fight with his own team mate while the game was going on and smashed up a Maccy D's. This guys a total nutter and deserves a right good shoeing.

%!*£ Rating: <b>8 / 10</b>

It's Robbie Savage ain't it. Nothing left to say really.

%!*£ Rating: <b>7 / 10</b>

Somebody hurt this guy fast. I'd put a target on him if I could, but you'll tell him easy enough, he'll be the one that runs like a duck. What a %!*£.

<b>N.B. While reading this players bio, the real Robert Pires dived four times, got four free kicks, three players booked and pretended to be dead a number of times. All this and he wasn't even on a football pitch, or within 100 yards of another human being.</b>

%!*£ Rating: <b>7 / 10</b>

This guy can cheat like a trooper. He's always whining and moaning too. Just lay one on him. Please, just do it.

%!*£ Rating: <b>8 / 10</b>

It's Craig Bellamy ain't it. Nothing left to say really.

<b>What a %!*£.

Well one thing then.</b>

%!*£ Rating: <b>9 / 10</b>

<b>Get up. Shut up. Go home.</b> How come this guy lays on the floor likes he's in agony 15 times a game and every time is belting up the pitch at full pace just moments later. <b>Big &*£%$!, soft %!*£.</b>

%!*£ Rating: 8 / 10

What a ponce David Beckham really is. Strutting around with loads of cash being a complete nancyboy. In every paper and magazine all the time. Might be able to swallow all his 'celebrity' antics if he'd actually produced his best for England when it matterred......... but he didn't. So he's in thanks to a suggestion from FUMBBL coach 'unstoffe' after he beat the 'Dislikeables'. Good pick mate. Now you all get to give David Beckham a right good tw*tt*ng. Enjoy.