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Kurgan Murderers
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Erik Skullpuncher
#1
Chaos Warrior
MA
5
ST
4
AG
3
AV
9
R
54
B
54
P
0
F
0
G
12
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
1
Td
1
Mvp
2
GPP
15
XPP
0
SPP
15
Injuries
 
Skills
Block
Erik Skullpuncher barely understands the irony of being a Chaos warrior and hiding from his enemies for the first few games before he gets enough skill to learn how to block. He can't even comprehend how a blitz thrown by a Chaos team is supposed to be lead by a beastman whose worth is slightly more than half of his. Those who defend the intelligence of the designers of Blood Bowl are the most likely to suffer at Erik's hands, as he tries to beat a mailed fist through their stupidity.
Update: In his last game against the Khemri Titans, Erik failed to score a second touchdown, but the facebeating he received that caused him to drop the ball was memorable enough to have him learn to block.
Furclump
#2
Beastman
MA
5
ST
3
AG
3
AV
8
R
32
B
45
P
0
F
3
G
11
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
3
Td
3
Mvp
1
GPP
20
XPP
0
SPP
20
Injuries
-ma
Skills
Horns
Block
Mighty Blow
Furclump wastes almost endless hours of his life playing World of Warcraft, and so was a perfect fit for the Chaos team. He particularly likes to spend time preparing to play games, but not actually playing them until he spends more time and money than it is actually worth. Erik Skullpuncher constantly tortures Furclump, causing much permanent damage, but the beastman is such a fanboi he keeps coming back for more, explaining to himself that torture was put in the game by playtesters who clearly know more about the game than his pain tells him. The silver lining of his horrible treatment is that Furclump has become somewhat skilled at deflecting any attacks that are less painful than playing World of Warcraft.
Update: Furclump has learned a thing or two by being abused, and now delivers blows to his enemies like those he has been punished with from Erik.
Second Update: The last block thrown in his game with the Khemri Titans knocked one of Furclump's ribs permanently loose. It acts up when he runs, and when Erik pokes his finger at it for laughs.
 
Halitosis
#3
Beastman
MA
6
ST
3
AG
3
AV
8
R
47
B
24
P
11
F
0
G
11
Cp
2
In
0
Cs
1
Td
1
Mvp
1
GPP
12
XPP
0
SPP
12
Injuries
 
Skills
Horns
Kick
With a name that hides nothing about this beastman's bodily function problems, Halitosis doesn't spend a lot of time in practice with his team. So, having nothing better to do between games, he's learned to kick the ball better than any of his more socially able teammates.
Dirtynails
#4
Beastman
MA
6
ST
3
AG
3
AV
8
R
2
B
20
P
0
F
0
G
11
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
0
Td
0
Mvp
1
GPP
5
XPP
0
SPP
5
Injuries
 
Skills
Horns
 
Treestainer
#5
Beastman
MA
6
ST
3
AG
3
AV
8
R
34
B
62
P
0
F
1
G
12
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
1
Td
2
Mvp
1
GPP
13
XPP
0
SPP
13
Injuries
 
Skills
Horns
Block
Treestainer, named as many beastmen are for his bad habits, is knowledgeable enough to know that the horns on his head are more than worthless, and if he is to be of any use, he'd better learn some skills that matter. To this end, Treestainer submits himself to a painful regime of excercise so that Erik Skullpuncher will spare spitting on his useless form. Treestainer knows that a beastmen is nothing more than some God's pure lack of intelligence and self judgement .
Bonedigger
#7
Beastman
MA
6
ST
3
AG
3
AV
8
R
14
B
30
P
0
F
6
G
12
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
1
Td
1
Mvp
1
GPP
10
XPP
0
SPP
10
Injuries
 
Skills
Horns
Dirty Player
Named for his tendancy to bury his dead or maimed opponent's bones in the pitch, Bonedigger has spent quite some time developing a good working knowledge of his opponents' anatomies. A wise enemy of the Kurgan Murderes will get himself up from the dirt before this beastman finds him vulnerable, and lays a nasty foul on them.
 
Bootmangler
#8
Beastman
MA
6
ST
3
AG
3
AV
8
R
14
B
15
P
0
F
4
G
11
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
1
Td
1
Mvp
0
GPP
5
XPP
0
SPP
5
Injuries
n
Skills
Horns
The reoccurring injury he received from the Zombie Baby Seals caused him to mix the very next game against the Khemri Titans. His days are numbered.
Bugluncher
#10
Beastman
MA
7
ST
3
AG
3
AV
8
R
64
B
25
P
0
F
3
G
12
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
2
Td
1
Mvp
2
GPP
17
XPP
0
SPP
17
Injuries
 
Skills
Horns
+MA
Claw
Named for his inexplicable desire to eat bugs, particularly flying insects, this beastman has learned to run faster chasing his meals. It also helps that most of the Chaos Warriors like to send him off with a good boot as much as they can.
 
Splittongue
#11
Beastman
MA
6
ST
3
AG
3
AV
8
R
0
B
22
P
0
F
3
G
12
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
1
Td
0
Mvp
0
GPP
2
XPP
0
SPP
2
Injuries
 
Skills
Horns
Gunter the Miserable
#12
Chaos Warrior
MA
5
ST
4
AG
3
AV
9
R
2
B
55
P
0
F
0
G
9
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
1
Td
0
Mvp
0
GPP
2
XPP
0
SPP
2
Injuries
 
Skills
Erik hired Gunter because of Gunter's complete lack of interest of ever winning a Blood Bowl game. The new Kurgan Murderers plan to mostly ignore playing the game, and spending their time causing casualties. While in the public world, trying hard against the odds is an admirable thing to do, in the world of Erik Skullpuncher, nothing shows more lack of intelligence and weakness than trying to make the best of a difficult situation. Gunter is part of the new, "Better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven," mentality. He is personally responsible for raping and then killing four Murderers fans who wanted to be cheerleaders for the team. Two were women, one was a beastman, and the last was a chaos spawn. Some money will eventually be lost in the process from ticket sales, but Erik was pleased when Gunter emerged from the interview chamber with a bloody groin, knowing the blood wasn't Gunter's.
 
Uwe Boll
#13
Chaos Warrior
MA
5
ST
4
AG
3
AV
9
R
29
B
42
P
0
F
0
G
8
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
1
Td
2
Mvp
1
GPP
13
XPP
0
SPP
13
Injuries
 
Skills
Block
Uwe Boll makes terrible movies, so it is only appropriate that he becomes a stark raving fanboi warrior for a Chaos team. He has been quoted as saying, "If only we would play better, we could win! Chaos is clearly as good as Orks and Skaven. I will use my skill of films to win games and show everyone how good we can be." Erik Skullpuncher, of course, found it hard to ignore such thick, ignorant behavior from his own countryman. Knowing also how awefull Uwe's films were, Erik decided to put Uwe on the front line, to use Uwe's rock hard noggin and films to cause casualties. At least until Uwe is dead.
Update: Uwe Boll's knuckleheaded believe in Chaos has made his ability to throw blocks even more effective.
Omar of Kleines Dorf
#14
Chaos Warrior
MA
5
ST
4
AG
3
AV
9
R
10
B
23
P
0
F
0
G
5
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
0
Td
0
Mvp
1
GPP
5
XPP
0
SPP
5
Injuries
 
Skills
Omar's full title is Omar, Destoyer of Kleines Dorf, Killer of Children, Slayer of Tiny Things, and Drinker of Tang. He, like Erik Skullpuncher, has a great self-hatred for his slavery as a minion of Chaos in Blood Bowl. Omar, though, is the worst kind of bully by nature, taking out his anger on those around him who are too weak to defend themselves. Many times Omar has been punched or hit by someone bigger than himself, reducing him to tears and crying like a baby. Though Omar tries to hide these moments as best he can, fearing that he may be thrown off even the Kurgan Murderers, Erik sees in Omar's pathetic behavior the light of promise in line with the feeble team Erik manages.
 
Kaiser Wotan Ansgar the Great
#15
Minotaur
MA
5
ST
5
AG
2
AV
8
R
0
B
11
P
0
F
0
G
2
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
2
Td
0
Mvp
0
GPP
4
XPP
0
SPP
4
Injuries
m
Skills
Always Hungry
Big Guy
Frenzy
Horns
Mighty Blow
Thick Skull
Throw Team Mate
Wild Animal
In the middle of the blackest night, Erik Skullpuncher left his hall and visited the beastmasters from whom he purchased his team. He passed the cages of the Trolls, ignoring the obvious first choice of Chaos teams, deviated away from the Ogre dens, heedless of their less obvious but still worthy value, and strode straight to the Minotaur Pit. Handing the gatekeepers a hefty sum, he looked straight into the eye of the biggest, meanest Minotaur he could find, hopped into the pit, and punched it out. Drawing an enchanted rusty spike, given to him by a fairy on the verge of death at Erik's brutalization (and of course, Erik killed him anyway), Erik drove the magic spike right between the two lobes of the minotaur's brain.

His fury so complete at heading a Chaos team, Erik has payed no attention to the glaring risks of buying a Minotaur. His arrogance is clear in the name he has given his new pet. Also, not wanting to deal with constantly chaining the furious beast, Erik controls Kaiser Wotan Ansgar by turning the embedded spike. Turn it one way, Kaiser Wotan Ansgar is unleashed with the full fury the horrible beast is known for. Turn it the other way, tears stream from the minotaurs eyes, blood trickles out of its nose, and it voids its bowels. Thus making it easier to get it to the games.