mr. really bad toupee wearer

bud light presents real american heroes
(real american heroes)
today we salute you, mr. really bad toupee wearer
(mr. really bad toupee wearer)
more than any neon sign or exploding scoreboard ever could, your chrome dome cover says "hey guys, look at me"
(what could you be thinking)
you think it looks natural, but it couldn't look phonier if it had a chin strap
(couldn't fool a blind man)
made of space-age fibers, it can repel anything: rain, wind, snow, and especially young women
(i don't think so)
so crack open an ice cold bud light mr. stud in a rug, then crack open another for that thing in your head
(i don't think it's on straight)

mr. pro wrestling wardrobe designer

bud light presents real american heroes
(real american heroes)
today we salute you, mr. pro wrestling wardrobe designer
(mr. pro wrestling wardrobe designer)
while lesser designers would shy away from putting 300 pound men in spandex, you embrace it
(yes you do)
pushing fashion to its limits, literally, you pair tights with a cape, a leotard with a mask, leather boots with a thong
(ooh, lookin good)
all understated ways of saying "i'm going to rip your head off, and look fabulous doing it
(ripping off heads)
so crack open an ice cold bud light mr. pro wrestling wardrobe guy, because without you, a man crushing another man's head in his arms would just look silly.
(mr. pro wrestling wardrobe designer)

MR. BATHROOM STALL DIRTY JOKE WRITER

Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)

Today we salute you Mr. Bathroom Stall Dirty Joke Writer
(Mr. Bathroom Stall Dirty Joke Writer)
Armed with your trusty marker you do the impossible, make an incredibly dirty place even dirtier
(Scribble it down now)
Your jokes make us pee our pants, lucky for us, they're down around our ankles
(Yeah)
You answer our most vexing question, What ever happened to the man from Nantucket?
(Oh, that's a good one)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light O' Ruler of the Rhyme, because when we're looking for a good time we call you.
(Mr. Bathroom Stall Dirty Joke Writer)

Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer

Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)

Today, we salute you, Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer
(Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer)
Like a bullhorn, your cologne announces your every arrival,
four blocks before you get there.
(Here he comes now)
Here a splish, there a splash, everywhere a splish splash,
You don't stop till every square inch of manhood is covered.
(Everywhere a splish splash)
Overslept and haven't got time to shower?
Not to worry, you've got four gallons of cologne
and, a plan.
(Pour it on)

So, crack open an ice cold budlight Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer,
because we think, we smell a winner.
(Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer)

Mr. Giant Taco Salad inventor

Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)

Today we salute you Mr. Giant Taco Salad Inventor
(Mr. Giant Taco Salad Inventor)
A culinary invention that baffles the human mind,
a twelve thousand calorie salad.
(ai-carumba)
Ground beef, refried beans, guacamole,
cheese, sour cream and, if there is any room left,
a few shreads of lettuce.
(I don't see no mayonnaise)
Some may ask, is your Taco Salad Healthy?
Of course it is, it's a salad isn't it?
( You can eat that deep fried crunchy bowl )
So crack open an ice cold budlight, conquistador of the calorie.
You put the feast in fiesta.
(Mr. Giant Taco Salad Inventor)

Mr. Silent Killer Gas Passer


Today we salute you
Mr. Silent killer gas passer (Mr. Silent killer gas passer)
Last night, you had the enchilada combo platter
This morning, the three-cheese omelet with broccoli
This afternoon, you're a ticking time-bomb
(tick, tick, tick, tick)
Because of you a simple elevator ride is suddenly a
42-floor plummet into the very bowels of hell
(You take my breath away)
Who did it? Who cares.
Sweet mercy, please, just someone light a match
(sweet, sweet mercy)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light O ninja of the nasty
And while you're at it, crack open a window
(Mr. Silent killer gas passer)

mr. foot long hot dog inventor

bud light presents real american heroes
(real american heroes)
today we salute you, mr. foot long hot dog inventor
(mr. foot long hot dog inventor)
when conventional wisdom said no one could make a hot dog longer than six inches, you dared to dream
(dared to dream)
you knew the limitations of a regular sized hot dog bun, and you ignored them
(can't stop me now)
you made a ten inch weiner, and people cheered
(oh!)
but you weren't satisfied. you said, "wait, i think i can still give you two more inches."
(gotta want it)
and so the foot long was born. so crack open an ice cold bud light mr. hot dog hero, because you gave every one of us our fondest wish: a bigger weiner.
(thank you thank you thank you!)

Mr. Dishonest Cable TV Hooker Upper

Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)

Today, we salute you, Mr. Dishonest Cable TV Hooker Upper
(Mr. Dishonest Cable TV Hooker Upper)
On any given day, sometime between nine and four thirty,
you arrive ready to bring us the world and,.
for an extra twenty, you will bring us porn.
(naughty, naughty boy)
Hey, you've already got the van and the jumpsuit,
why not get into criminal activity?
(Just a naughty boy)
Afterall, what are they gonna do, throw you in cable jail?
( I don't think so)
So, crack open an ice cold budlight, Manhandler of the scrambler,
because isn't it about time someone hooked you up?

(Mr. Dishonest Cable TV Hooker Upper)

MR. GASOLINE BBQ STARTER

Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)

This Memorial Day we salute you Mr. Gasoline BBQ Starter
(Mr. Gasoline BBQ Starter)
Never mind charcoal chimneys, and easy lighting briquettes. The only way to start a real BBQ is with a gallon of 93 octane and a big book of matches
(Light up the sky)
Who needs eyebrows? You're hungry and you've got 7 pounds of lamb shanks ready to go
(That's a lot of kabobs)
You don't just defy convention, you defy warning labels, and common sense
(Very low I.Q.)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light O' Prince of the Pyrotechnic, because no one makes a backyard mushroom cloud like you do
(Mr. Gasoline BBQ Starter)

MR. GROCERY STORE CART WRANGLER

Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)

Today we salute you Mr. Grocery Store Cart Wrangler
(Mr. Grocery Store Cart Wrangler)
Any weenie can stock a shelf, but it takes a real man to wrestle a untamed herd of jammed together grocery carts.
(Gotta keep them moving)
There are 20 strays in the lot, and weather setting in. Who's going to bring those doggies safely back inside?
(Who's it going to be?)
The man in the smock and the comfortable shoes, that's who.
(Don't mock my smock)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Grocery Store Cart Wrangler, as far as we're concerned, you put the super in supermarket.
(Mr. Grocery Store Cart Wrangler)

mr. hawaiian shirt pattern designer

bud light presents real american heroes
(real american heroes)
today we salute you, mr. hawaiian shirt pattern designer
(mr. hawaiian shirt pattern designer)
you provide us with colorful loungewear capable of hiding any stain we can dish out
(gettin sloppy)
who else could create flowered shirts that are still so unmistakeably masculine
(ooh)
a single shirt that matches every pair of pants we own, and really sets off a white belt
(looking good now)
sure women say they hate them, but inside they're all swooning for the big kahuna
(ooh kahuna!)
so crack open an ice cold bud light mr. hawaiian shirt pattern designer. your shirts may not be made in hawaii, but taiwan is an island, too.

ANN: Bud Light presents…Real Men of Genius

MVO: (Singing) Real men of genius.

ANN: Today we salute you, Mr. Stadium Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Guy.

MVO: (Singing) Mr. Stadium Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Guy.

ANN: You’ve combined the three things you love most in this world: your girlfriend, your team, and lots and lots of attention.

MVO: (Singing) Everyone look at me.

ANN: Your first proposal: her hand in marriage. Your second proposal: two more jumbo chilli dogs.

MVO: (Singing) Chilli cheese!

ANN: It’s the perfect plan unless her name is spelled wrong, she’s in the bathroom, or she says 'no'.

MVO: (Singing) Pretty please.

ANN: So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Bachelor on the Big Screen, and remember that even if she says no, we’ll always say yes.

MVO: (Singing) Mr. Stadium Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Guy.

ANN: Bud Light Beer. Anheuser Busch. St. Louis, Missouri.