In life, he was ranked a genius in terms of IQ. That is about the only good thing that can be said, however. He lived at home sponging off his parents until he was 42. Got his first job at 46, when his inheritence was spent, as a stock boy at Auto-Mart. Held the job for 3 weeks and then disappeared.

Dead at age 48, he lived the last couple years of his life as a destitute drifter.

Given a second chance, Under-Achiever, is now striving to do in undeath what he couldn't in life.

Likes: Elf Meat, Amazonian Women and various sorts of little critters (skinks, rats, etc).

Dislikes: Rap Music, Stakes and is afraid of the small spaces.

While living, Under-Rated was the youngest and smallest of 29 children born to a penniless family from Hoboken. A misdiagnosed hearing impairment resulted in him being assessed as a 'special' child and thus he was never given a chance to live up to his potential.

At 18, he left home and sought to claim his place in society. Under-Rated spent the next 30 years involved in some of the most successful business ventures of the late 20th century. Not one to speak up for himself, he never received the credit for his business prowress or his amazing charisma and leadership abilities. CEO's far and wide sought him out to be their '#2' guy because they knew he wouldn't try to steal the spotlight.

His full potential was never realized as his life was cut short when he suffered a massive heart-attack while attending an orgy in his honor.

With his mission incomplete, Under-Rated joined the ranks of the undead for a chance to finally claim that which he was rightfully due.

Likes: Large Women, Pork Chops, Human Organs (he has a large spleen collection)

Dislikes: STDs, Unbelievers and Elves

Not the sharpest tool in the shed, Under-Writer seems to be the epitome of the slow and stupid undead. Before his journey to the other side, he had been a bright and clever high stakes gambler and world traveller. Seems like living life at full speed caught up with him in the great beyond.

Likes: Cards, Pork BBQ, Fast Cars and Airports

Dislikes: Midgest, Dwarves, Little people of any kind, Fuzzy Dice that hang from the rear view mirror

Death can be ironic at times. While living, Famine was a 350 lb. hulk of a man who could easily consume enough food in one meal to feed a family of four for three days. Perhaps his lust for food and all out gluttony doomed him to 'after-life' as one of the undead.

Likes: Potato Chips, Corn Chips, Taco Bell, Beethoven

Dislikes: Small Insects, Bathing and Undead Pretenders

No one is really sure how Drought made it on the team. It took him 16 games to get his first skill and chances are it will take him that many more to get another. A serious contrast to the life he had before undeath when he won the lottery 4 times and always walked away from the track or the casino with 3-4 times what he entered with.

Likes: Gambling, Tony Bennett, the name Bugsy

Dislikes: Bob

Best friend. Reliable co-worker. Great with kids. Loved animals. Helped the destitute. Gave to charity. Went to church every Sunday. Helped old ladies cross the street. Organ donor. Those were but a few things that were said about Black Beard when he was alive.

Now? Well now is a different story. In his undeath, he has learned to master the art of taking. Limbs, livers or entire lives doesn't matter. One thing has carried over from life, there isn't a 'bone' of descrimination in his body.

Likes: Small dogs, well endowed women, the innards of any creature with pointy ears.

Dislikes: Pina Coladas and walks in the rain.

If ever there was a real life equivalent of Tiny Tim, it would have been BlueBeard. On a good day he weighed 95 pounds. He was constantly sick and scarcely left his bed during his short 22 year life.

The afterlife has provided Blue with the chance of making up for that. Perhaps one of the strongest skeletons in existence, Blue makes his way through the opposition like no other. His desire to share the pain he suffered in life is unsurpassed and he block with a zeal rarely seen.

Likes: Nurses, Captain Crunch Cereal, Pork

Dislikes: Hospitals, Pharmaceutical Companies. Living atheletes.

When the undead are given their names, they can often times be misleading. Thus is the case with Red Beard. A native of Florida, Red Beard was a nobody. He spent most of his life measuring concentrations of swamp gas, listening to televangelists and wishing that he could have been alive 100 years ago when his 'morals' were more fitting for the times.

A proponent of slavery, Red Beard was delivered his justice as his after-life was a sentence to be among the living dead. Although his name is pirate sounding, the only thing he ever pirated were MP3s.

Likes: Bluegrass Music, Martha Stewart, Archie Bunker

Dislikes: His Momma, His Daddy, children and most people with an IQ of 78 or higher.

Certainly not the sharpest tool in the shed, Mr. Christain is essentially a bench warmer for the Pies. Many refer to him as the undead equivalent to a blonde. He is utterly clueless, is always falling down and often times heads in the wrong direction on those rare occassions he does make it on to the pitch. A stark contrast to his life before undeath where he was a Nobel Prize winning Physicist.

Likes: Vanity Fair, Home Shopping Network, Longaberger Baskets

Dislikes: Dirty Laundry, Amazon Women, Unshaven Legs

Recently deceased, Clepto had previously been a security guard at one of New York City's most prestigious department stores. That he should enter un-life being that which he fought while alive is typical irony. What's more, he seems to be pretty good about it too!

Likes: Dressing Rooms, revolving doors, that new clothes smell.

Dislikes: Plastic security clips, tissue paper and public restrooms.

Under-Cooked never really got the chance to enjoy life as he died 3 days after being born. He looks to make up for his lack of presence in life with a large showing in the realm of the undead. Probably one of the most bitter players to ever join the pies, he isn't one that you want to mix words with.

Likes: Creating pain and suffering

Dislikes: Everything else.