<B>Baseball Imposes Tough New 'Three-Strikes-You're-Out' Rule</B>

NEW YORK—Saying it is time to "get tough on hitters," Acting Commissioner of Baseball Bud Selig announced Monday the adoption of a hard-line Three-Strikes-You're-Out" policy on all at-bats.

"The American people are sick and tired of the same batters coming to the plate and taking pitch after pitch," said Selig after a day-long closed-door session of the Rules Committee of Major League Baseball. "There comes a point where we have to draw the line and say, 'Okay, you've had your chance, and you blew it. You are doing harm to your team and to your fans, and you are going to spend the rest of your half-inning in the dugout.'"
Enlarge Image Baseball Imposes Tough New 'Three-Strikes-You're-Out' Rule jump

The strict new rule will replace the previous system, under which the number of opportunities a hitter had to put the ball in play was subject to the discretion of the umpires. Among the factors umpires had previously taken into account: difficulty of pitch thrown, degree of pressure from fans and teammates to get a hit, socio-economic condition of the batter, and whether or not he showed any remorse for previous failed at-bats.

But according to the drafted formulation of the new rule, slated to go into effect at the start of the 1997 season, the third time a pitch is either swung at and missed, or is "taken" but ruled to have "passed through a region of space sufficiently proximate to the batter to render his lack of effort to make contact ipso facto athletic negligence," he will automatically receive his sentence.

Foul balls will also be ruled strikes, Selig explained, but will not be sufficient grounds for declaring a batter permanently out. "Our purpose is not to arbitrarily punish," Selig said. "A foul-tip on a potential third-strike pitch still constitutes a mitigating circumstance, and any alleged pitching dominance must be proven beyond a reasonable doubt."

According to Donald Fehr, head of the Baseball Players' Union, many players view the new policy as unfair.

"Selig's three-strikes policy takes a draconian, one-size-fits-all approach to punishment that is totally out of line with human nature and common sense," Fehr said. "You're telling me that if some nervous rookie shortstop just out of the minors goes to a full count, then takes a screwball that barely catches the outside corner—you're saying that kid deserves the same punishment as a hardcore veteran like Jose Canseco taking three huge cuts and not even coming close? Come on."

Another critic of the new plan was Doris Kearns Goodwin, professor of history at Harvard University and a long-time baseball fan.
Enlarge Image Baseball Imposes Tough New 'Three-Strikes-You're-Out' Rule

"This is a simplistic, election-year solution to a problem that won't go away," Goodwin said. "People are all too eager to pass 'quickie' solutions like building more dugouts, but they aren't willing to devote the time, money and effort into eliminating the factors that cause strikes: poor coaching, the breakdown of the close-kint team unit by free agency, and a group of largely white umpires more interested in punishment than in ways of rehabilitating and re-integrating struggling young hitters back into baseball society."

But many players, particularly pitchers, expressed satisfication with the new three-strikes rule.

"It's about time," Atlanta Braves ace Greg Maddux said. "In fact, it's too lenient, if you ask me. When I throw the first pitch right down the middle and some punk like Barry Bonds swings and misses by five feet, I don't feel he deserves another chance, much less two. I know what these guys are like, believe me. They never change. They're gonna get right back in the batters box and do it all over again and keep wasting the ticketpayers' money."

"These hitters have got to be punished," said New York Yankees pitcher Jimmy Key. "How else are they going to learn?"

<B>Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box</B>

ITHACA, NY—After weeks of being sleepy all the time and never finishing his din-din at night, area daddy Howard Lewis was put in a bye-bye box early Monday morning so that he could go on a vacation with the birds and clouds in the sky.

Daddy, who was tall and strong and liked going to the hospital to play with their fun machines, was put in the bye-bye box at a big, white house where everyone had a party for him even though it wasn't his birthday. According to family sources, Daddy, 36, can't play Chutes and Ladders tonight, but he loved Ryan and his little sister, Rebecca, very, very much, and nothing is ever going to change that.
Enlarge Image Bye Bye Box

"I love my daddy. He's the best," said Ryan Lewis, 5, after watching the box get dropped inside a cool underground fort full of dirt and sand. "I'm going to be the big boy of the house until he gets back. And I have to take care of Rebecca now, even if she doesn't share her toys with me."

Mommy, who said that Ryan and Rebecca could have pizza for lunch today because they're so special and then started crying like the time Rebecca skinned her knee, was not able to explain how long Daddy is going to have to live inside the ground. She also said she was not sure if the bye-bye box has a night-light for when it gets dark, whether there's books inside the bye-bye box for when Daddy gets bored, or why Daddy was wearing a suit in the bye-bye box if he wasn't going to work.

After returning from the bathroom, Mommy, 34, reportedly hugged Ryan and Rebecca so hard that it hurt a little.

While many theories exist as to why Daddy was placed inside the ground, including the possibility that Mommy and Daddy had a big fight, and that maybe living underneath the grass was the only way for Daddy to get a new tummy, Ryan and Rebecca said they would have to wait until he comes back to ask.

Ryan added that he hopes Daddy brings back a lot of presents, like the time he went to Chicago to talk about computers.

"I'm practicing catch in my room so I can surprise Daddy with how good I got when he was away," said Ryan, who sometimes, when sitting in the backyard, likes to dig little holes to try and visit his father. "I'm also making him a card and I'm going to give him all my bath-time toys so that he can have something to play with when he washes up to get all the dirt off his body."

This is reportedly not the first time Ryan's family has received so many fruit baskets and telephone calls after someone has had to go away for a while. In 2003, Grandma Sarah was turned into magic dust and then thrown into the ocean so that she could go swimming again. And last year, Uncle Brian was put in a bye-bye box even bigger than Daddy's after his heart broke into a million pieces one morning.

Although neither Grandma Sarah nor Uncle Brian has visited the house since, 3-year-old Rebecca said she knows that Daddy will be back soon, because she has a ballet recital next week, and Daddy promised he would be there to watch her. According to Rebecca, not only is Daddy going to come out of his hole to see her, but he's also going to have all of his hair back when he does. In addition, Daddy won't be saying all that silly stuff like "I'm so sorry, my princess" and "You're going to have a beautiful wedding one day."

"My papa's name is Howie," Rebecca said. "He's asleep now like Snow White."

When Daddy will actually wake up remains to be seen, but he is probably just having a good time playing with their old cat Muffin right now, and will soon realize that Ryan and Rebecca can't go to sleep without their favorite bedtime story, and will then jump out of the ground and coming running fast, because he is such a fast runner.

As of press time, Mommy was planning to have a big long talk with Ryan and Rebecca, probably about eating their vegetables or tidying up their rooms.

<B>Cat Fancy Magazine Blasts Area Kitten
"Mr. Paws is far from purr-fect," says article in October issue</B>

TILDEN, OH—A article just published in the October issue of Cat Fancy magazine blasts local kitten Mr. Paws, calling him "far from purr-fect" and a "cat-aclysmic failure."

Enlarge Image Cat Fancy Magazine Blasts Area Kitten

"Unlike the typical feline that appears in Cat Fancy, Mr. Paws does not behave in a manner that can in any way be considered adorable or cuddly," said Neil Kilmer, Cat Fancy features editor and cat enthusiast. "During the entire time I observed Mr. Paws, not once did he climb into a paper bag and stick his head out quizzically. Nor did he ever unroll any lengths of ribbon or yarn, afterwards innocently looking up from the entangled mess as if to say, 'Who, me?' Finally, if that weren't enough, he never fell off the edge of a tree branch, gripping it precariously with his fuzzy little paws and 'hanging in there,' so to speak."

"Unfortunately," Kilmer concluded, "Mr. Paws appears to be totally devoid of any 'purr-sonality' whatsoever. He couldn't possibly be any 'fur-ther' from the caliber of kitty that Cat Fancy usually showcases."

Mr. Paws' owner, Helen Smallings, strongly disagreed with Cat Fancy's assessment of her pet. "I really love Mr. Paws and he loves me. Don't you, Mr. Pawsy Wawsy?" said Smallings, a single, slightly overweight, 38-year-old part-time secretary. "He's his own little man!"

As a result of the scathing Cat Fancy article, whenever Mr. Paws leaps to bask in the warmth of one of the front windowsills, Smallings is forced to close the blinds to protect him from the jeers and laughter of the neighbors.

"I read that piece on Mr. Paws in the latest Cat Fancy—we all did," neighbor Paula Corcoran said. "That kitten is crap."

Despite his harsh words for Mr. Paws, Kilmer admitted the kitten's lack of cuddliness may have been in part circumstantial. "A kitten benefits from the presence of deep shag rugs that offset its fur color and fish bowls to peer into bewilderedly or bat excitedly, things Mr. Paws lacks," he said. "In addition, there are no beagles on site next to whom Mr. Paws can curl up and fall asleep. Now, wouldn't that be cute?"

Enlarge Image Cat Fancy Magazine Blasts Area Kitten jump

In response to Kilmer, Smallings said, "Just the other day, Mr. Paws was on the couch all stretched out, and I put the remote control next to his paw. It was the cutest thing!"

Cat Fancy said it could not consider the cute pose in its evaluation of the animal without at least a Polaroid of it, or, ideally, an 8x10 glossy photo enclosed in a light blue frame with kitties chasing a ball of pink yarn around its perimeter.

A similarly persuasive photo, according to Cat Fancy, would depict Mr. Paws doing one of the following: wearing a pair of sunglasses; curling up inside a country western hat; "kissing" a jack o' lantern; or dripping wet after falling into the sink, looking like he was having "One Of Those Days!"

Evaluating an appeal from Smallings at a special meeting in the Persian Room, Cat Fancy's Editorial Board determined yesterday that "Mr. Paws is most definitely a 'cat-astrophe.'"

"Sometimes a decidedly unsnuggly cat is redeemed by its air of grandiosity and haughtiness," board member Joyce Reamish said. "Such is the case with our Cat Pic of the Month, a Siamese named Sheba from Grand Forks, ND. Sheba was photographed while poised on a mahogany table bathed in natural sunlight, the garden just beyond the window. The look on her face is 100 percent sassy. Mr. Paws, on the other hand, is sassless."

"Age is certainly an issue with this particular feline," Kilmer said. "Before long, Mr. Paws will have passed through the prime stage of kittenhood fuzziness, out of both the adorably awkward period of quick growth and the rambunctious, playful months."

"Within a year he will likely be a sedate and reclusive adult cat that's sadly overweight in the midsection, a condition only acceptable on the matronly long-hair breeds. Mr. Paws' condition is truly 'a-paw-ling.'"

In a final indictment of the sub-par pet, Kilmer added: "Get this 'fur-ociously' inferior feline 'me-out' of my sight!"

<B>Los Angeles To Siphon Water From Minorities' Bodies</B>

LOS ANGELES—After 12 years of political controversy, legal delays and statewide referendums, California legislative officials and Los Angeles municipal authorities finally greenlighted a proposal Monday to allow water-poor Los Angeles to begin drawing water for public use from the bodies of the metro area's estimated seven million minority residents.

"With its rich tapestry of black, Asian and Hispanic cultures, Los Angeles' diversity is one of its greatest strengths," said L.A. mayor Richard Riordan, announcing the plan. "And with some 15 gallons of water contained within the body of an average 170-pound L.A. minority resident, these people also represent one of our city's great untapped natural resources."

Initially proposed by the Federal Bureau of Reclamation in 1938 and revived by the L.A. Department of Water & Power in 1985, the $10 billion minority-drainage system will draw nearly 100 million gallons of water a year from non-Caucasian residents via an elaborate network of pipelines individually inserted into their bodies. The water will then be pumped to various aquifers and reservoirs throughout the city, where it will be processed and made available for public consumption.

According to Department of Water & Power officials, much of the critically needed water will be used to help fill Los Angeles' estimated 1.5 million glamorous in-ground swimming pools.

"Did you know that Mexicans are 65 percent water?" DWP chairman Kurt McFadden said. "According to our estimates, under the new system, the water from a mere 300 Mexican immigrants—legal or illegal—is all it will take to fill the extra-large pool of a studio executive or agent."

McFadden said the minority-drainage plan will have numerous other benefits, as well. "No longer will the good citizens of places like Santa Monica, Hermosa Beach and Glendale be forced to limit their lawn-watering time to seven hours per day: Soon, they will be able to leave their sprinklers on for literally weeks on end," he said. "And with the new system providing up to 350,000 extra gallons of water per day, the city will finally be able to construct those 14 new luxury waterpark tourist facilities it has been planning for so long."

Sustaining an adequate water supply has long been among the paramount challenges facing Los Angeles. Located within an arid region that, prior to this century, was incapable of sustaining more than a few tiny outposts of settlers, over the past 100 years the sprawling megalopolis has drained countless lakes and rivers—many of them hundreds of miles away—to meet its ever-growing water needs.

The new minority-drainage technology, said to be excruciatingly painful to those being drained, passed in a statewide referendum last April by a considerable margin.

"There was a small group that stood strongly opposed to Proposition M," Los Angeles municipal media-relations liaison Allan Bruford said. "But it was not enough to constitute a majority rule. It is clear that most Angelenos want this system, regardless of a small, vocal minority."

Despite winning at the polling booth, the new water system had been delayed since April, largely due to unresolved questions regarding which municipalities should receive most of the water; the means by which the individuals to be siphoned will be selected; and what disposal method will be used for the thousands of withered, shrunken human corpses the system produces as waste per hour.

With a majority of the questions finally resolved, initial testing of the pipeline will commence next week. African-American males over the age of 65 have been selected as the first group to be siphoned, with different ethnic and age groups slated to be added over the next nine months as the system is raised to full-flow capacity.

"By this time next week," McFadden said, "there will be more than 50,000 Watts residents of hydroelectric power coursing through this city."

Despite its many benefits, the project is not without its detractors. "What the city of Los Angeles is doing is nothing less than an inhuman, criminal violation of the public interest," Fifth District Councilman Marv Salerno said. "Under the current plan, the city would need to siphon over 12,000 minority citizens a day just to meet its estimated minimum needs. At that rate, L.A. will have completely exhausted its available supply of minorities by the year 2002. What we need is a sensible long-term minority-conservation policy that will ensure the annual regrowth of enough new minority residents to provide us with an indefinite supply of renewable human water sources."

Responding to Salerno, McFadden said that by the time Los Angeles depletes its own minority supply, the system will be upgraded and augmented to reach minorities in neighboring states.

"Phoenix, AZ, a city rich in Hispanics and blacks, is only 350 miles away," McFadden said. "Pipelines many times that length have sent oil from Alaska to the mainland U.S. for decades, so there's no reason to think we can't do it here. L.A. has the technology."

<B>Columbine Jocks Safely Resume Bullying</B>

LITTLETON, CO—On April 20, when two students at Columbine High School opened fire in a brutal shooting spree that left 12 classmates and a teacher dead, many feared that this affluent suburban school would never be the same.

Members of Columbine High School's popular crowd, who, more than four months after the tragic shooting at their school, have finally begun to exclude again.

But now, more than four months after a tragedy that shook the nation to its core and marked the most notorious incident of school violence in U.S. history, the atmosphere is optimistic. Slowly but surely, life at Columbine is returning to normal.

Thanks to stern new security measures, a militarized school environment and a massive public-relations effort designed to obscure all memory of the murderous event, members of Columbine's popular crowd are once again safe to reassert their social dominance and resume their proud, longstanding tradition of excluding those who do not fit in.

"We have begun the long road to healing," said varsity-football starting halfback Jason LeClaire, 18, a popular senior who on Aug. 16 returned to the school for the first time since the shooting. "We're bouncing back, more committed than ever to ostracizing those who are different."

Added LeClaire's girlfriend, cheerleader Kellie Nelson: "A school where the jocks cannot freely exclude math geeks, drama fags, goths and other inferiors without fearing for their lives is not the kind of school I want to go to."

The resilient attitude displayed by LeClaire and Nelson speaks volumes about Columbine administrators' deep commitment to making the school a safe place for members of the popular cliques. Last spring, the entire nation watched in horror on live television as terror-stricken students fled the school, running with their hands above their heads, flanked by SWAT teams. But when Columbine reopened its doors on Aug. 16, a spirit of boosterism, school pride and unquestioning conformity once again prevailed as the elite jock crowd "took back the school" as its own.

On Sept. 6, amid a pep-rally atmosphere of marching-band fanfare, cheerleaders and mass chanting, a group of jocks wearing T-shirts bearing the slogan, "We, Not You, Are Columbine" were escorted by armed guards into the school for the first day of the new semester. Approximately one hour later, the rest of the student body was allowed into the building through a side door.

"It's almost as if a helpful 'big brother' is watching us now," homecoming queen Lori Nowell said. "None of the losers can mess with us. Now that the entire school is blanketed by surveillance equipment, the popular kids, like, totally rule the school!"

"Its gonna be a great year!" best friend Jessica Wohlpert added with a high-five.

As the school year begins under the watchful eye of 24-hour electronic monitoring and police protection, a sense of normalcy has returned to Columbine. Just like at any other school, the computer geeks are mocked, the economically disadvantaged kids are barely acknowledged, and the chess-club, yearbook and debate-team members are universally reviled. While these traditions are nothing new, from now on they will be much easier to preserve, thanks to the high-tech, draconian security measures that now dominate Columbine life.

Prior to the April shootings, it was thought that Columbine's unpopular students were under control. After all, geeks like Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, the "Trench Coat Mafia" members who committed the killings, had been persecuted for years as a matter of policy. But according to vice-principal Dr. Frederick Mondrian, the tragedy made Columbine administrators realize that not nearly enough had been done to enforce adherence to the school's dominant social pecking order.

"We thought that the systematic cruelties inflicted on our school's desperate, alienated outcasts would be sufficient," Mondrian said. "Those kids were beaten up, pelted with rocks and universally rejected by their more popular peers, not only because they were smart and computer-literate, but also because of the way they dressed and the music they liked. But the shootings sent a clear message to this school and this community: We hadn't done nearly enough to keep such misfits shunned and in their place."

To rectify the problem, school authorities consulted with top ostracization experts and developed a comprehensive jock-safety plan. Cameras were installed on school grounds, enabling authorities to more closely monitor the activities of all students for suspiciously nonconformist behaviors or modes of dress. All entrances to the school are now locked and accessible only by intercom or specially coded key card, preventing the sort of open, comfortable learning environment that might encourage students to express themselves. The soothing presence of armed patrols, coupled with high fences surrounding the grounds, reassures jocks that they can feel free to once again torment the school's geeks as they did before April 20, without fear of reprisal.

In addition to these changes, school authorities have brought in special fashion consultants, who are lending their time and expertise to help educators identify "at-risk" clothing and hair. Students who are seen wearing "red-flag" items such as thick eyeliner, long coats, tattoos, Marilyn Manson T-shirts, non-designer jeans and the color black are now required to attend special makeover sessions with a trained psychiatric professional, who will assess the student's potential for nonconformist behavior and then outfit him or her in Tommy Hilfiger jeans, Gap T-shirts and Abercrombie & Fitch baseball caps with a curved brim, on penalty of expulsion.

Thus far, the beefed-up security measures have done wonders to restore the self-esteem of Columbine's jocks, who say they feel safer shunning, berating, belittling and picking on those who are different from themselves than ever before. And the jocks are doing their part to keep the untouchables in line, more than doubling the number of swirlies, noogies and wedgies doled out to Columbine's many outcasts since last year.

Happily, the many efforts to protect Columbine's jocks seem to be working. In fact, schools across the country have begun to pick up on the Columbine model, with many districts imposing measures even more stern than those at Columbine itself. These include mandatory dress codes, transparent book bags that are subject to random search, metal detectors, electronic handprint-identification systems and automatic expulsion of anyone who goes out of his or her way to "separate themselves socially" from classmates or "break the status quo."

Meanwhile, here at Columbine, the popular kids say they just want to get on with their privileged lives. As cheerleader Tammi Brandon put it at a recent pep rally, "Go Rebels!"

School authorities stressed that the remark merely referred to the name of the Columbine football team and was not intended to be taken literally.

<B>America Reminded Of Beef's Existence By Bold New Ad Campaign</B>

KANSAS CITY, MO—A new $100 million "Beef—Come And Get It™" ad campaign is reminding the American people of the existence of edible cow flesh.

The Kansas City-based American Beef Council launched the ambitious television and print campaign after discovering that U.S. citizens were no longer aware of the food item.

"Over the past few years, the American Beef Council let up on its promotional efforts, running very few beef ads," council president Richard Harnisch said. "And that lack of aggressiveness came home to roost: A recent focus-group test indicated that Americans had forgotten all about this delicious mealtime staple. When asked about beef or shown pictures of it, they seemed vague on the concept, often asking if it was some new, redder form of pork."

"Only after repeated explanations that beef is a separate, distinct meat that has always existed did test subjects begin to understand and remember," Harnisch said. "We soon realized that all Americans needed to have it explained to them that beef is a delicious meat that can be purchased and eaten."

Enlisting the aid of advertising agency McCann-Erickson, the American Beef Council developed a series of TV commercials depicting rugged cattle ranchers herding steer on a majestic Wyoming ranch as spirited Aaron Copland music plays. Veteran actor Jason Robards, speaking in voice-over, says, "There's a certain flavor to America, a hearty hunger for adventure and freedom that you can feel in the air. And taste in the beef."

Close-up shots of juicy steaks, hamburgers and beef shish-kebabs are then displayed, along with the campaign's slogan, "Beef—Come And Get It™."

The ads already appear to be working.

"I'd completely forgotten about beef. I used to eat it all the time, well aware that it was what's for dinner," said Tracy Karasik of Pensacola, FL, enjoying a generous cut of London broil.

"But the manufacturers and vendors of beef must have gotten really lax in their advertising, because I don't think I've eaten or even thought about the meat in some three years. If it hadn't been for this new campaign, I might have died missing the great taste of beef."

The campaign is believed to be the most successful since a 1994 American Dairy Board promotional campaign for cheese. The ads, which revolved around the slogans, "Cheese—Still Exists, Always Has" and "Oh, Yeah... Cheese," reminded the American eating public of cheese's existence, causing sales of the dairy product to more than triple.

<B>Local Prostitutes Eagerly Await Dentists' Convention</B>

LAS VEGAS–With the New Jersey Dental Association's annual convention less than one week away, excitement is building among the city's prostitutes.

The four-day event, which will bring some 1,500 New Jersey dentist-johns to the Las Vegas MGM Grand Hotel, is expected to pump an estimated $75,000 into the local streetwalking economy.

"This is the big one," pimp Marlon "The Pearl" Evans said. "We don't see this kind of action from anyone else all year–the electronics-industry convention, the auto show, insurance seminars, no one. The average car dealer or pet-store owner in town for a convention might treat himself to a piece if he thinks he can spare it, but he doesn't have what we in the business call 'dentist money.'"

"The dentists' convention is where we pull out all the stops," said Lucy Calhoun, owner of Juicy Lucy's, a popular Vegas-area brothel. "The average dentist has an unusual combination of cash and low self-esteem that makes him an ideal customer."

Across the city, prostitution-sector employees are scrambling to make last-minute preparations for the anticipated rush. Madams are breaking in new girls, pimps are setting out extra strings of whores, and bordellos are putting up partitions in the pool rooms and throwing extra mattresses on the billiard tables. Most prostitutes will pull longer shifts beginning Wednesday in preparation for an expected 200 percent increase in tricks.

"I'm definitely going to have to put in some overtime when those dentists hit town," area hooker Candi Walters said. "I swear, when those guys were here last year, my feet hardly touched the floor for about four days straight."

Prostitutes have long known that the average dentist, while earning almost $60,000 per year, is not generally respected by the public at large. Neither an admired craftsman nor a full-fledged member of the medical community, the dentist, more than anyone short of the chiropractor, uses conventions as an opportunity to purchase emotional gratification in the form of sex.

If previous years' figures hold true to form, Las Vegas prostitutes can expect to serve an average of 15 dentists per day during the four-day convention. And while some dentists may request special treatment–such as bondage, menage a trois, or unusually young girls–sex-trade insiders say a majority of services rendered will likely consist of half-hour sessions of conventional, one-on-one, missionary-position intercourse.

"It's strange, really," said Cherry Caldwell, who will be working her seventh NJDA convention. "Most guys want something a little kinky when they come to Vegas–something they can't get from their wives or girlfriends. But not the dentists. It's almost as if it's enough for them just to have sex with a girl."

"All in all, the dentists tend to be a pretty conservative bunch," prostitute Sapphire Jones said. "A lot of them do like to talk dirty, though. They'll say stuff like, 'I'm gonna drill a few holes,' or 'This won't hurt a bit, baby.' And when you suck them off and they come, they love to tell you to spit."

"They really respond to Las Vegas' unique energy," said MGM Grand hospitality director Patrick Worthington. "There's just something about this town's $3 all-you-can-eat prime-rib specials, cheap drinks, and easy, 24-hour access to a wide variety of prostitutes that just says 'dentist.'"

The NJDA dentists agreed. "Look out, Vegas," said convention organizer and Mahwah, NJ, orthodontist Harold Stemmer. "The dentists are coming to town to fill a few cavities, if you know what I mean, and there are some lucky girls out there who are going to be a few dollars richer if they play their cards right."