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Woot Elves
<i>Excerpt from Assistant Coach Gorbadz assorted notes</i>
Tekklis an' Tirijong iz da 'ardest uv da Hi Elfs an' dey brudders. Wun uv 'em iz a dead tuff warrior wot wearz a majikal swort an' a hors an' da uvver wun iz wot uz orkz kallz a weirdboy an' yoo humies kall 'em wizzarts. Gorbad finks da elfs kall 'em majes an' sumtimez sawsaharz. Anywayz. Da Tekklis and Tirijong wot play on da Woot Elves real namez iz Morglum an' Morglub. Gorbad finks da reson dat da coach fink up da namez iz cuz Morglum an' Morglub iz like da burdders Tekklis an' Tirijong cuz dey alwayz train' wif wun anuvver.
<i>Excerpt from 'Da Big Book uv Coachin' by Assistant Coach Gorbad, Chapta IIIIII - Coachin' Blitzaz. ISBN Numba: Pendin' (as uv yet unpablished)</i>
Tirijong and Tekklis iz alwayz trainin' wif wun anuvver an' dey train dead 'ard wot makez da coach pleasd as punch. Howeva wun day at da trainin' da coach see dat Tekklis an' Tirijong wuz trainin' dodgin' tekkniques insted uv bashin' tekkniques an' da coach shoutz "WAAAAAGH" an' runz on da pitch in orda ta bash sum sense inta da ladz. Wot happen iz dat da coach wanna grab 'em an' bash 'em but da ladz dodge da coach! Afta a while da coach stop tryin' ta bash da ladz an' da coach bersts out laffin' an' goez bakk to da bench. Gorbad finks dat da coach diskovert a speshul trainin' sekkrit! Yoo see... dodgin' iz not just fer elfs and gobbos wot wanna dodge away from da bashin'! Dodgin' iz also fer da orks wot want to stay in da fikk uv it!
Pass
Sure Hands
Block
Safe Throw
<i>Excerpt from 'Da Big Book uv Coachin' by Assistant Coach Gorbad, Chapta IIIIIIII - Coachin' Frowas. ISBN Numba: Pendin' (as uv yet unpablished)</i>
Lookit da ladz! Dey train dead 'ard ta be da best, da tuffest, da strongest uv da bunsh! See dat skinny wun uv 'em? Dats da frowa. Da frowa on da Woot Elves iz Mallakiff, named afta da dark elfy king, but 'is real name iz Morgum. Wait, cud be 'is name iz Morgrub? Morglum? I forgit. Anywayz. Wun day at trainin' da coach shoutz "WAAAGH" an' runz on da pitch an' startz ta hit Mallakiff on da noggin' an' da coach ain't wun ta pull 'is punch! Da resun fer da bashin' akkording ta yoors trooly iz dat da coach got mad wif Mallakiff cuz uv Mallakiff trainin' on his frowing tekknique instead uv on 'is bashin' tekknique. Da coach set him rite strait since dat and now Mallakiff iz trainin' on da bashin' like wot iz sapposd.
Always Hungry
Big Guy
Mighty Blow
Really Stupid
Regenerate
Throw Team Mate
Break Tackle