Saucy aristo reprobate, the 13th Duke of Wybourne, finds himself in all manner of unsuitable locations, usually at night, invariably with a number of ladies.
With his rumpled dinner jacket, a bottle of champagne and a glint in his eye, the 13th Duke turns up at halls of residence and dormitories, as if by accident. Standing in a room full of sleeping girls, he'll ask lasciviously, 'With my reputation? Has no one thought of the consequences?'

Some of the places the 13th Duke of Wybourne has found himself in have included:


a French maid's finishing school
a sixth form girls' dormitory
a student nurses' hall of residence
a women's prison
alone with his best friend's wife in a mortuary
Well, you can't have everything..

Competitive Dad is the best at everything. He torments his long-suffering children, Peter and Toby, with constant challenges they can never live up to.
Sport is Competitive Dad's biggest interest - from cricket, to tennis and fishing. Not to mention weight-lifting and monopoly.

Patrick Nice can usually be found in his suburban kitchen making coffee, or maybe in the potting shed. Where Patrick differs from an actor talking about his latest role, is that his tales are somewhat less plausible.

He has discovered that he is a direct descendent of Kubla Khan, won the lottery twice in a fortnight, watched REM play an impromptu concert at the presentation of his son's Nobel Chemisty Prize and discovered a cure for cancer.

'...and I was rummaging around in the attic and I found the original copy of the Bible. Which was nice.'

Never was the Mike Oldfield track, 'Moonlight Shadow', so well used. Dave Angel, another classic Simon Day pointing character, regularly trots off down a country lane to its strains.
In his beige bomber jacket, trilby hat and shades, Dave Angel is in every way the opposite of what you'd expect from an eco warrior. Accompanied by his 'missus', Shirley, Dave will explain about the hole in the ozone layer, a threatened hill tribe in Papua New Guinea, or, most memorably, naturism.

Shirley, meanwhile, usually unwittingly sabotages Dave's efforts.

Two of The Fast Show's most enduring characters, the Suit You tailors, Ken and Kenneth, spawned a generation of people who can't pass a certain high street menswear retailer without a smirk.
The sex-obsessed pair sidle up to customers and then unleash a torrent of filthy suggestions about their client's personal life.

'Were you with a lady last night sir? Did she want it sir? Ooh, suit you!'

The Fast Show's most famous fan, Johnny Depp, appeared with the Kenneths in The Last Fast Show Ever. He played a bewildered American who is thoroughly quizzed about his sexual antics since arriving in the country. Surrounded on both sides by excited tailors, Johnny 'ooh'-ed along like a trouper.

Professor Denzil Dexter of the University of Southern California regularly comes on to talk about his work. Dressed in classic hippie/Open University attire, and with a habit of flicking his long hair over his shoulders, he stands in his shadowy laboratory and explains his latest experiments.
Professor Dexter's experiments are in turn pointless and dangerous. They seem to stem from a combination of optimism and an uncertain grasp of reality.

He has tried to pass his hand through a pane of glass by changing its molecular structure, made a special hat to harness gamma rays, and announced that he is investigating spacebats.

His only companion is his assistant Dave. Rarely seen, Dave turns out to be a monkey.

Presenter of Jazz Club, Louis Balfour is a man whose mission is to bring 'you all that's best in the world of jazz'. Every obscure and bizarrely named jazz combo who join him in the studio will be greeted with the Louis' particular brand of cool reverence.
The music is uniformly terrible, and Louis is always enraptured. His highest accolade is an aside to the camera - 'Nice!' or 'Grrrrreat'.

Interfering pub bore Billy Bleach knows the answer to everything, and he can't resist giving others the benefit of his wisdom.
Subjects on which Billy is an expert include:

pub quiz machines
choosing lottery numbers
getting the right change
fitness training
musical taste
He also has plenty of unwelcome advice to give on relationships and the subtle differences between the sexes. And what could be finer than Simon Day in a bubble wig?

Enthusiastic Manchester teenager who thinks everything is 'Brilliant!'. He marches around many diverse locations bigging things up with boundless energy.
Amongst the things Brilliant thinks are brilliant are:
shelves, gravity, the Mafia, holes, yesterday, Ronnie Corbett, sequels, holidays, echoes, several different types of natural disaster, paint, kids, pavements, the sky, mams, microwaves, old people, sex, the Romans, shepherds, Jesus and golf.

Briiiiilllllllliiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnntttttt!

Sozzled, rambling old barrister, Rowley Birkin QC, sits in his chair and spins yarns of foreign adventures, mysterious women and exotic beasts, attended only by his equally ancient butler.
During his nonsensical mutterings you can make out the occasional phrase - 'took it off below the knee'... 'a rather striking mustache'... 'SNAKE, SNAKE!'... 'Her husband had been entombed in ice. Like this.'... and of course, 'I'm afraid that I was very, very drunk'.

Johnny Nice Painter

Nice old artist, Johnny, goes on painting expeditions to the countryside with his long-suffering wife, Katie.
All will go smoothly, with sedate conversation about the views they are painting, until something reminds the nice painter of the colour black. He becomes a changed man, squeaking 'Black! Black! You lock me in the cellar and feed me pins!' until he can be stopped.

It's enough to make you want to hide in the wardrobe of darkness.