9-23-09
Jason Cannon Hand takes the first kick off the team has ever received and, with the help of his supporting cast, is the first player on the team to score a touchdown.
After storming triumphantly into the endzone, Jason looks up into the crowd. On seeing a fan wearing a jersey with his number on it, he gives an acknowledging salute to the man then hurls the game ball up to him.
Four broken ribs and a cracked sternum later, the man opens his eyes and gives a 'thumbs up.'

9-26-09
Jason Cannon Hand completes his first pass to lineman Richard Roadblock in a blowout win over the high elven team 'Broken Offence'. Later in the locker room Jason was heard saying "I just threw it in a random direction because I thought I was about to get hit."

9-26-09
Darrian Death Pact completes his first pass to lineman Michael the Oak who then rushes into the endzone for a touch down.
Later in the locker room Darrian was heard saying, "The thrower ducks out of trouble, evades a tackle then tosses a beautiful pass to some lineman who just happens to fall over into the endzone and I get one SPP while he gets three. That's bull****."

9-27-09
In the Remnants first loss to the dark elf team 'Forgotten Empire', Darrian earns himself the game MVP. According to the Remnants coach, it wasn't his speed nor grace on the field that earned him the title, but because he was the only one who quote- "Didn't look like a complete ass-hat out there."

9-30-09
Alec Frenzy has been a very 'under the radar' player for the Remnants. He has made several key plays but has yet to come up with something really eye-catching.
His SPP gain has been modest, though the addition of 'Mighty Blow' to his skill set may soon change that.
Even if you already have great starters, he will make a good flex player for your fantasy bloodbowl team.

9-25-09
With a particularly brutal blitz into an unfortunate high elven thrower, Daniel the Mauler becomes the first of his team to outright kill another player.
The action earned Daniel the position of defensive safety.
After the game the helmet of the fallen elf was picked up, shaken out, and handed to the deceased elves replacement.

9-26-09
Samuel the Swift scores his first touchdown against the High Elven team 'Broken Offence'. After an unsuccessful dodge by an elven catcher forces the ball loose, Jason Cannon Hand scoops it up and a quick handoff to Samuel seals the victory.
After getting back to his sidelines, Samuel was seen dumping a cooler of gatorade on himself.

9-23-09
Victor the Merciless becomes the first player on the team to earn an MVP. Which is odd because he didn't do anything the whole game. No touchdowns, no casualties, nothing.
To this day Victor still thinks 'MVP' stands for 'Merciless Victor Props' and he still can't figure out why the rest of his team gets them.

9-30-09
Victor the Merciless is officially the fastest player on the team.
And he reminds everyone of it.
Constantly.
After practice he was heard saying "I'm faster than Chadwicks wife after a half-stein of ale."

9-30-09
Chadwick Mace had been the oldest player on the team without any SPP's whatsoever. He contributed nothing to the team and was, quite frankly, useless.
Because of this, Chadwick was the butt of many locker room jokes and pranks. On one occasion, the team went so far as to put hemlock in his after-game juice box.
And when Chadwick heard Victors remark about his wife being 'easy', it was the last straw. Chadwick became so angry that he gave a blood-curdling shriek, ran full-tilt towards Victor and kicked him as hard as humanly possible in the taint. A knock down/drag out was just errupting when the coach rushed the room, slung the players away from each other and sat Chadwick down on a nearby bench.
"Son." He said. "You got one helluva a kick. How would you like to be the team kicker?"
It was right there in front of the whole team and even Victor with his swollen, throbbing taint, that Chadwick became the kicker for the Remnants.

9-26-09
Harold the Black intercepts a grenade thrown by a goblin star player from the team 'Flat-Footed Binstanders'. He then procedes to fling the explosive back into the goblin line, blowing four of them off their feet and opening a path through the cage to the ball carrier.
But none of that means jack since, at the time of writing this, Harold has contributed nothing but '-3' rushing yards to the team.

9-30-09
Harold the Black gets his first touchdown in an incredibly brutal game versus the dark elven team 'Toons on Roids'. The opening drive was particularly bloody, ending with at least four elves knocked out. The ensuing chaos was mouth-watering and the elves almost flipped the play to score an upset touch down. But when the dust had settled, it was Harold who walked away with the 3 SPP's.
Though Harold will tell stories of epic interceptions and shrugging off seemingly endless numbers of dark elves to reach the goal line, in fact, all he did was stand in the endzone and recieve a hand-off.

9-26-09
Michael the Oak makes a strong showing in the Remnants second game. Facing the high elven team 'Broken Offence', Michael catches his first pass and then takes it in for his first touch down.
The crowd goes wild, however, Michael selects 'the robot' as his victory dance, completely killing the moment.
That's what he is doing in his profile picture up there.

9-23-09
Marcus Blockade is the first lineman to score a touchdown. Once back to the huddle he thanked his thrower saying, "That touchdown will get me three SPP's and that much closer to the 'Block' skill."

9-26-09
Marcus Blockade is the first player on the team to earn a skill; the "Block" skill.

9-26-09
In a game against the Lizardman team 'Octava Camada', Marcus Blockade drops the game winning hand off from Jason Cannon Hand, causing the team to have to settle for a draw.
A mob of angry fans therefore burned down his farm, slaughtered his livestock and urinated on his wife.
However, oddly enough, they then honored him with the games MVP.

9-27-09
Marcus redeems himself in a game versus the goblin team 'Flat-Footed Binstanders'. Just after witnessing his teammate and fellow lineman Harold the Black do the same, Marcus intercepts a flung grenade and hurls it back at the goblin line. The grenade explodes, downing the entire front of the goblin cage, including their star troll. In the chaos, Michael the Oak swoops in, picks up the ball and runs it into the endzone.
Marcus is awarded with his third MVP for his quick thinking and reflexes.
Later in the locker room Marcus was heard saying, "I thought about lying down on it and taking one for the team but then I thought 'naw, I'll just toss it back and see how things turn out.'"

10-3-09
It has taken Richard Roadblock 9 games to get his first skill. What the hell has he been doing out there?

9-27-09
Warv is the first ogre introduced to the team. The wage for his services? The first RIP of the game, be it friend or foe. What he does with the corpse is a matter never, ever discussed.

10-3-09
William the Unwavering is the only player on the team at this point without a single SPP.
He is also the only player on the team without a bio and for good reason; he's boring.
He's boring the fans, he's boring the team, he's even boring that little guy that walks around all the time trying to sell everyone peanuts.
He doesn't deserve a bio. A bio is something that must be earned, sought after, achieved.
You don't get recognized for doing nothing.
Chadwick Mace at least kicked his teammate in the taint. That got someones attention.
Maybe... yeah, William needs to kick someone in the taint!

10-3-09
Jonathan Jaguar is already proving useful as in his debut game he has scored a touchdown. The Remnants were defeated, make no mistake. But at least Jonathan got his time in the spotlight. It's important to boost these kids egos from time to time. If they think they're better than everyone else, then they are.
It's basic psychology. Everyone knows that.
Watch, I'll prove it to you-
*You're not at all amused by this bio...*
*...*
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I know! I'm inside your mind!