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United Philosophers
The man who started it all. Plato throws ideas and balls all over the field. Plato has decided he is the only one fit for being captain of the team.
Aristotle is Plato's pupil. He think's Plato is the best but still doesn't wanna take part in any dialogue with him. Rather Aristotle tries to point out that Plato's game plan is a never ending regress of touchdowns, a strategy that is obviously false.
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Although Hume doesn't approve of Plato's ontology he still tries to catch his ideas. Stubborn Dave, as his friends call him, never believes the team may score, except when he himself has actually seen and felt himself making the touch down.
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Kant thinks it's his duty to score touch downs. He also thinks you may never use your opponents only as means but rather as goals in them selves. That is why he occasionally tries to make a touch down on the other team's players.
Weird Fred doesn't believe in anything. This is sometimes useful when playing blood bowl.
There is no time for being, and no being of time. Thus the being of a timeless tochdown might be considered a neologism. A touchdown scored in the time of is, is a timedown rather than a being touched.
Democritus thinks he's part of the nucleus, inner circle, of Blood Bowl. He was the first to claim that the ball itself can never be taken apart into smaller pieces, a fact that was disproven years later by Grimwrath the hungry Troll.
All players strife for pleasure. Pleasure is divided into two types; the pleasure of scoring a touch down and the pleasure of tearing the other players apart. The former is superior to the latter.
A really annoying person. Always asks thousands of questions. Why shall I throw the ball to him? Why do you want to score? What is the best ball? What do you mean by run "fast"? The other players usually leave Socrates on the line of scrimmage hoping he will confuse or at least annoy the opponents.
As his friend Bentham Mill thinks it's all about being happy. Mill suggest a quatification method for measuring how much pleasure the spectators are experiencing. Every TD equals two happy-points, HP, whereas an interception will only equal 1.5 HP.
The first man who, having fenced in a piece of land, said "This is my astrogranite," and found people naive enough to believe him, that man was the true founder of blood bowl. From how many crimes, wars, and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not any one have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows: Beware of listening to this impostor; you are undone if you once forget that blood bowl will kill us all (at least us elves) ”
— Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Discourse on Blood Bowl Inequality
Singer is mostly known for his theories about racial discrimination. He was the first wood elf in history suggesting that the members of the other races, EVEN goblins, was potentially good blood bowl players.
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The first elf female to take active part in the game of philosophical blood bowl. Mary started out as cheerleader but her vicious fists and great leaps of thought soon made her a star player in the team.
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Arne Næss' main philosophical work is entitled "Interpretation and Preciseness". Being a treeman preciseness is not in his nature and thus an enthralling concept. Næss also claims plants should have equal rights wich seems quite logical being a vegetable himself.