Do you think it is easy being the only Skaven in a High Elf city? Philo can tell you that it most definitely is not. First of all, everything is clean. Really clean. Spic and Span clean. And they're weird. They play annoying music and giggle all the time and they read waaaaaay too many books. It's no wonder that Philo got bored. And bored equals curious and curiousity killed the rat...


Well it didn't kill him but it did get him thrown into the Oubliette. It was there that Philo learned the meaning of the phrase "This Sucks." The Oubliette is full of psychos, freaks, chaos spawn and other less friendly types. Now Philo finds himself missing the High Elf city and even though the garbage was scarce, it was tasty. Now... Well Philo doesn't like to think about it. Luckily, he's a sneaky rat and he can crawl into places no one else can. He hears stuff and literally rats it out to the guards. They give him good food and surprise surprise... no one likes him. It was getting dangerous out there on the mean streets so when the warden offered him a job on the team... well, he just didn't realize there would be so many other inmates on it. Now he is just as afraid of his team mates as he is of the other team

Ogg has always been a peaceful troll. He is generally quiet, prone to introspection. He never pillaged more villages than was strictly necessary. He also never really held too much animosity for the tiny human farmers and villagers who would come after him with torches and pitchforks. After all it is just their nature to fear someone like himself. So Ogg spent his days in meditation when he could and avoiding troublesome villagers and the heroes they would dispatch to slay him.

That is how he ended up in this prison. Yet another in a long string of misunderstandings. Needless to say, he is thrown in prison with the worst elements of society. He tried to create an inmate outreach without much success. So he spent his days living in the ruins of the library, reading, meditating and fighting off bands of roving cannibals.

Ogg welcomed the chance to join the Blood Bowl team. Athletic competition is healthy and good for the soul. A gentlemanly pursuit that will offer a possible chance for a parole. (Clearly Ogg has never watched Blood Bowl)

Some people accuse Ogg of being really stupid. He is just focused on other things. Meditation, pondering philosophy, etc. He also dislikes the violence. Occasionally, during a game he "zones out" takes a mental breather as a way to cope with the horrific violence he sees on a daily basis.

What happens when you combine the questionable brain power of an ogre and access to an endless supply of gunpowder? Why you get Wiffle-head Jim.

Lord Vanya Megios has the unfortunate luck to be the smarter, more-handsome, better-skilled first cousin of Bloody King Yaroslav. He was called Bloody because he killed more of his own people than any other King in his realm's history. That wasn't quite enough for him, so in order to make an incredibly huge pile of gold to add the tacky new wing to his palace he sold an entire city in his realm to slavers. Well this caused a lot of nobles to look at the King and then look at Lord Vanya and say..." well, he is better looking and a whole heck of a lot smarter... and he really isn't crazy, nor is he psychotic. Maybe we should put him on the throne."

Lord Vanya for his part was pretty sure that was a bad idea. His cousin, the King agreed. In the middle of the night the Palace Guard arrested Lord Vanya and in due course delivered him to the gentle care of the High Elves and the Oubliette. Once inside he became something of a prodigy. He refused to join a gang. He rescued a young nun from the clutches of slaver's and delivered her in safety to a gang of Amazons who are in the prison. He then helped three other gangs organize an ambush and defeat and destroy the most notorious band of cannibals in the Oubliette.

When he heard of the Warden's Blood Bowl scheme he was the first to show up and had to kill seven other contenders just while in the queue for the job interview. Now for Lord Vanya it is Blood Bowl glory or death!

He is Sparrow Hawk, son of Proud Hawk, son of the great Chieftan Screaming Eagle. It was he who climbed to the eagle's nest with only ten summers and stole her feather and looked upon her chicks in the nest and returned to tell the tale. It is he who slew a horse warrior of the Mad Bear clan with his knife before his 12th summer. It is Sparrow Hawk who took three wives before his 18th summer. He has slain stag and bear and orc and the grass-eating men of the western lands. Sparrow Hawk does not eat grass. Sparrow Hawk eats meat. Sparrow Hawk does not drink beer like grass-eaters. He does not drink water like cattle. Sparrow Hawk does not drink milk like a child! Sparrow Hawk, son of Proud Hawk drinks blood! Like a man! Sparrow Hawk has no use for the shiny metal discs that the grass-eaters worship and which makes them insane. Sparrow Hawk wants meat and blood and steal and hides! These are the spoils of real men.
It is the fault of the tall pale ones, with their ears like knives and cowardly metal coats that shine in the sun. It is they who used foul witchcraft to lay him low. It is they who were jealous of his right to plunder. It is they who stole his horse. Sparrow Hawk wants his horse. The one they call War-Den said if the team wins the horse will be returned. So Sparrow Hawk will win this foolish statue for War-Den and reclaim what is his.

Scott Free is the Greatest Escape Artist on Three Worlds. Wait a second... are you THAT Scott Free? "Long Story."

Every Prison needs guards and it is a well-known fact that High Elves do not like to get their hands dirty. Since no High Elf princeling would dare be a prison guard, the High Elves turned to kidnapped Dark Elf children. They are raised together in groups and brain washed. They are known as The Breed. The Breed are notoriously hard to control and to keep them obedient they have all been given a magical tattoo that compels obedience and causes excruciating agony when they disobey.

8Lin is a totally bald Dark Elf female, with a scarlet 8 tattooed on the back of her head. She is the first Breed to ever disobey a direct order. Instead of sentencing her to death the Warden has sentenced her to the Blood Bowl pitch! After all, isn't that the same thing?

Minotaurs generally have a bad reputation. In Longhorn's case it is mostly (mostly) undeserved. Longhorn never wanted to get thrown in prison, I mean, who does, right? Longhorn's given name is Kendrick Longwood. He was raised in a peaceful, bucolic county of the Old World. His family made a living as a herdsman. In early life he was befriended by a troupe of Mummers. With them he learned to juggle, act and generally participate in the many performances that the troupe would put on for the delight and entertainment of the small, local villages in the home counties. As a stage actor he adopted the name of Longhorn. His part in the troupe would often be to play the part of a ravening beast who's role was to menace the female lead and ultimately be defeated and slain by the hero. Well, one day the troupe decided to do their own version of Beauty and the Beast. (It is such a classic story they have it in the Old World too) It was a major success! The critics all agreed that Longhorn was a brilliant, if sometimes prone to weird wild animal roars and such, actor. After that the sky was the limit. They kept giving him better, more meaty roles. Eventually he was cast as Kromeo in Kromeo and Tuliet. Everything was great until they performed for the High Elf governor. The Governor just happened to be the second cousin of the author of the play. Thus offended he decided to throw the who theater troupe into the Oubliette. One look at the sensitive, actor and the warden said... 'That's my boy!"

HA!You thought that was Mortimer who got his neck broken out there on the field with those Ogres... Do you think Mort is crazy? Crazy like a fox. That was his third cousin Norbert. Mortimer told him it was a snotling team... Them’s the breaks Norbert. Who is Mortimer Fisk? . He is the Old World's greatest inventor of Goblin technology. Remember the Rock Lobstrosity? That was him. Remember Chocolate covered skink toes? Him too. Remember the Squigmaster 5000? Yep. Mortimer. He is also the greatest Goblin business man ever. EVER. He once sold the Middenheim Bridge to a Bretonnian nobleman. He is also the greatest Goblin general. He almost won three seperate battles. THREE! The next best Goblin general only ever almost won two. He is fabulously wealthy, internationally famous and general the envy of everyone. Everywhere. Period. End of story.
Jealousy. That's why he ended in the Oubliette. They were all jealous of him. When you are that successful and rich and with as much sex-appeal as Mortimer it is only natural that you have enemies. People who want to bring you down. So Mortimer has been framed. But he has the number one team of Goblin lawyers working to get him freed. It was them who got him the spot as manager of the Chain Gang. That is right MANAGER.
What's that your saying? Mortimer can't hear you over the sound of how awesome he is.