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Mallakiff
#1
Thrower
MA
5
ST
3
AG
4
AV
8
R
165
B
25
P
29
F
0
G
12
Cp
8
In
0
Cs
2
Td
5
Mvp
1
GPP
32
XPP
0
SPP
32
Injuries
Skills
Pass
Sure Hands
+AG (40k)
Accurate (20k)
Block (20k)
Lookit da ladz! Dey train dead 'ard ta be da best, da tuffest, da strongest uv da bunsj! See dat skinny wun uv 'em? Dats da frowa. Anywayz. Wun day at trainin' da coach shoutz "WAAAGH" an' runz on da pitch an' startz ta hit da frowa on da noggin' an' da coach ain't wun ta pull 'iz punsj! Da resun fer da bashin' akkording ta yoors trooly iz dat da coach got mad wif da frowa cuz uv 'im trainin' on his frowing tekknique instead uv on 'iz bashin' tekknique. Da coach set him rite strait since dat and now Mallakiff iz trainin' on da bashin' like wot iz sappost.
Excerpt from 'Da Big Book uv Coachin' by Assistant Coach Gorbad, Chapta IIIIIIII - Coachin' Frowaz. ISBN Numba: Pendin' (as uv yet unpablished)
Tekklis
#2
Blitzer
MA
7
ST
3
AG
3
AV
9
R
104
B
105
P
1
F
0
G
13
Cp
3
In
0
Cs
7
Td
11
Mvp
0
GPP
50
XPP
0
SPP
50
Injuries
Skills
Block
+MA (30k)
Mighty Blow (20k)
Tackle (20k)
Tekklis an' Tirijong iz namet afta da 'ardest uv da Hi Elfs. Wun uv 'em iz a dead tuff warrior wot wearz a majikal swort an' a horz an' da uvver wun iz wot uz orkz kallz a weirdboy an' yoo humies kall 'em wizzartz. Gorbad fink da elfz kall 'em majez an' sumtimez sawsaharz. Anywayz. Da Tekklis and Tirijong wot playz on da Woot Elves propa namez iz Morglum an' Morglub. Gorbad finks da reson dat da coach fink uv da namez iz cuz Morglum an' Morglub iz like da burdders Tekklis an' Tirijong cuz dey alwayz train' wif wun anuvver.
Excerpt from Assistant Coach Gorbadz assorted notes.
Tirijong
#3
Blitzer
MA
6
ST
3
AG
3
AV
9
R
6
B
49
P
0
F
0
G
13
Cp
1
In
0
Cs
1
Td
1
Mvp
1
GPP
11
XPP
0
SPP
11
Injuries
Skills
Block
Guard (20k)
Tirijong and Tekklis iz alwayz trainin' wif wun anuvver an' dey train dead 'ard wot makez da coach pleasd as puntsj. Howeva wun day at da trainin' da coach see dat Tekklis an' Tirijong wuz trainin' dodgin' tekkniques insted uv bashin' tekkniques an' da coach shoutz "WAAAAAGH" an' runz on da pitch ta bash sum sense inta da ladz. Wot happen iz dat da coach wanna grab 'em an' bash 'em but da ladz dodge da coach! Afta a while da coach stop tryin' ta bash da ladz an' da coach bersts out laffin'! Gorbad finks dat da coach diskovert a speshul trainin' sekkrit! Yoo see... dodgin' iz not just fer elfs and gobbos wot wanna dodge away from da bashin'! Dodgin' iz also fer da ork ladz wot want to stay in da fikk uv it!
Excerpt from 'Da Big Book uv Coachin' by Assistant Coach Gorbad, Chapta IIIIII - Coachin' Blitzaz. ISBN Numba: Pendin' (as uv yet unpablished)
Elftarijong
#4
Blitzer
MA
6
ST
3
AG
3
AV
9
R
4
B
43
P
0
F
0
G
12
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
2
Td
1
Mvp
1
GPP
12
XPP
0
SPP
12
Injuries
Skills
Block
Guard (20k)
Dreezzt
#5
Blitzer
MA
6
ST
3
AG
4
AV
9
R
70
B
34
P
14
F
0
G
12
Cp
2
In
0
Cs
1
Td
3
Mvp
3
GPP
28
XPP
0
SPP
28
Injuries
Skills
Block
+AG (40k)
Guard (20k)
Wen da coach figgerd ta name da ladz wif elfy namez most uv da ladz wuz shawtin' an' hollerin' abawt "'ow stoopid an' pansy elfz namez iz" an' dat "izza deesgraze fer dead 'ard orz ladz runnin' aront bein' namet az wot elfz iz".
Wun uv da blitzas thawt iz woz a rite propa idea, thow, an' inziztet on bein' namet 'Dreezt', but da coach sayz "derez no elf namet 'Dreezt'" an' da coach sayz "elf namez ent wif da fingz az 'merrifallow', 'bertsawng' an' 'geentelbreez'" an' 'e tolt da blitza ta fink uv anuvver name, anyfink uvver dan 'Dreezt' cuz 'Dreezt' izza rite stoopid name evan fer an elf. Da blitza wud 'ave none uv dat an' insistet dat 'Dreezt' iz a name wot a reel famoos dark elfy warjior wot has too magjical sworts an' dat ifn' 'e wuznt allowt ter be da 'Dreezt' wif too magjical sworts den 'e wut not play wit da teem an' 'e stomped 'is feet an' da coach named 'im 'Bertwatcha Fanceefallow' but da blitz onli 'earz wot yooze tell 'im ifn' yooze call i'm 'Dreezt' or 'it 'im inna noggin'.
Excerpt from Assistant Coach Gorbadz assorted notes.
Emmarikk
#6
Black Orc Blocker
MA
4
ST
4
AG
2
AV
9
R
0
B
57
P
0
F
0
G
13
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
1
Td
0
Mvp
0
GPP
2
XPP
0
SPP
2
Injuries
Skills
Kalledor da Wyvernboss
#7
Black Orc Blocker
MA
4
ST
4
AG
2
AV
9
R
0
B
68
P
0
F
0
G
12
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
5
Td
0
Mvp
2
GPP
20
XPP
0
SPP
20
Injuries
Skills
Block (20k)
Mighty Blow (20k)
Awrian King uv da Woots
#8
Black Orc Blocker
MA
4
ST
4
AG
2
AV
9
R
0
B
42
P
0
F
0
G
13
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
0
Td
0
Mvp
1
GPP
5
XPP
0
SPP
5
Injuries
Skills
Skwawk da Falkoonir
#9
Black Orc Blocker
MA
4
ST
4
AG
2
AV
9
R
0
B
78
P
0
F
0
G
13
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
4
Td
0
Mvp
2
GPP
18
XPP
0
SPP
18
Injuries
Skills
Block (20k)
Mighty Blow (20k)
Leeggoolaz
#10
Lineman
MA
5
ST
3
AG
3
AV
9
R
0
B
4
P
0
F
0
G
8
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
0
Td
0
Mvp
1
GPP
5
XPP
0
SPP
5
Injuries
Skills
Bertwatcha Merrimaka
#11
Lineman
MA
5
ST
3
AG
3
AV
9
R
0
B
5
P
0
F
0
G
4
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
0
Td
0
Mvp
0
GPP
0
XPP
0
SPP
0
Injuries
Skills
Weelkeenz
#12
Lineman
MA
5
ST
3
AG
3
AV
9
R
0
B
0
P
0
F
0
G
1
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
0
Td
0
Mvp
0
GPP
0
XPP
0
SPP
0
Injuries
Skills