Fernand is the second thrower to play for the Sabres since they turned pro, after their original quarterback Jack N. Bauer was killed by werewolves. He missed the first few matches of the Blackbox league season through absence, and a lookalike took his place, using his name and image. After the deception was uncovered, the impostor was killed by the fans, and Fernand returned to his normal position as the team's thrower. Thanks to the administrative chicanery, he is now known as Fernand II, although he wishes it to be known he's very much the original.

Called "easily the most impressive human catcher to have played the game in some time" by SportsNight, Morr E.N. Tezz was one of the key members of the legendary Sabres side that ransacked the first Crow Cup, and later scored that league's first hat-trick in the record 4-2 rout of the Quest. His hand-eye coordination gives him his edge, and he's been known to pilfer the ball literally from under the noses of opponents.