"Follow your dreams. You can meet your goals. I am living proof. Beefcake! BEEFCAKE!!!"
- Horny BEEFcake! (Weightgainer 666 sponsor-ad)

"DUDE, THAT IS NOT COOL!!! CHOPPING OFF WEE-WEES IS NOT COOL!!!"
- Andy the Hobbit (now Sandy the Hobbit)

"We don't say fuck on the field asshole!"
- Oppa FeinSchmecker (playbook guidelines)


"Stunty culture has plagued the world for years, we must end it!"
- Oppa FeinSchmecker (motto)


"See that Cheese Dick? Now that's a dirty little bastard!"
- Oppa FeinSchmecker (during recruitment)

"I AM NOOOOOT AAAAACTING LIKE A FREEEEEEAK!!!!"
- Sloppy Veggieboy (acting like a freak)

"Your mother is what we halflings call, 'Big Taco with ekstra bean sauce.'"
- Cheese Dick (delivering a misunderstood compliment on the field)


“You cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor flushing, low life, snake licking, dirt eating, inbred, over-stuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fatass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spineless, worm-headed sack of monkey shit!”
- Cheese Dick (disagreeing with the ref.)


"semen puking asshole dickhead testicle shooting rectal wart"
- Cheese Dick (agreeing with the ref.)


"Shut up, fat ass!"
- Cheese Dick (passing by the ref.)

"Why did the halfling swim on his back? ...to keep his nuts dry."
- common saying among chaos halflings.

"How can I resist an ass so great!?!"
- Colonel Colon (earning his name playing against an Albion Fae team)

“I was taking shrapnel in Nuln when you were crapping in your hands and rubbing it on your face!”
Major Meatgrinder (trying to impress opponent cheerleader)