In the Marmelade Forest,
between the Make-believe Trees,
in a cottage cheese cottage
lives Albi!
Albi, the racist dragon!


Albi was chased out of his village for being so racist and different from the other villagers. But he eventually befriended the badly burned Albanian boy (which is remarkable, considering who burned the boy that badly) and suddenly, he was not racist anymore.
The ate some bubblegum pie (YUM!) and decided to team up and make a name for themselves as Blood Bowl players.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-jVAHAuiS4

'Captain, do you not see the irony? By destroying the humans because of their destructive capabilities we have become like... well, do you see what we have done?'
'Yes? So? Silence! Destroy him!'
PEW! PEW! PEWPEWPEW!!


Robo Captain has one goal in his existence: Kill all menz! To cure the robo depression! And get rid of the unethical treatment of elephants (and elephants, too, while he's at it).
What better way to achieve this than through Blood Bowl?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BcFHvEpP7A

'I had a dream about you guys last night! Jemaine, you were a slave, striving for freedom. And Bret...well...I- I just want to thank you...'
'Erm...you are welcome.'
'I had no idea you were so flexible!'


Mel has been obsessed with Bret and Jemaine ever since she met them. So when she found out that they are forming their very own Blood Bowl team, she was the first in line to sign up as a player. As she brought her own ball and chain, she got the position and now does everything she can to destroy whoever gets in the way of her love interests!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jr0Tg7vsOxg

See you shaking that boom boom
See you looking at my boom boom
See you want some boom boom
It's clear it's boom time
Boom boom


Boom King II. has taken over the role of the teams bombadier after his predecessor, The Boom King, died in a glorious, beautiful explosion and went on to another world of BOOM!
Anyways, Boom King II. is not the least bit crazier than the previous Boom King, so Bret and Jemaine were naturally hesitant to hire him. But again, the promise of free explosives and a vow not to hurt any of his team-mates, including himself, got him the position. Unfortunately, some Goblins are notorious liars, so we will see how well this will turn out.
FOR THE BOOM!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3BzgsrYanQ

Im the funky monkey junky
Youre a flunky bunky donkey
Youre a picture of the devils daughter
Im a pitcher of holy water


At this point, it is still unclear whether The Boom King or The Prince of Parties is the crazier one, but everybody is eager to find out. Rumor has it, they are trying to settle this dispute by comparing their body-count after 100 games. Bring it on! (And try to survive that long, too)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LLRk3_nogo

They call me the Hiphopopotamus
My lyrics are bottomless
....

Together with the Rhymenoceros, the Hiphopopotamus is the musical back-bone of the team. That combined with their relentless Gobbo-battle-rap attitude, they tag-team their way through any opponent.
He is also quite sexist, but he is really trying to correct this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FArZxLj6DLk

I'm the mother flippin' Rhymenocerous
My beats are fly and the birds are on my back
And I'm horny
I'm horny
If you choose to proceed you will indeed concede
Cos I hit you with my flow
The Wild Rhino Stampede.
I'm not just wild, I'm trained,
Domesticated
I was raised by a rapper and rhino that dated
And subsequently procreated
That's how it goes
Here's the Hiphopopotamus
The hip hop hippo


After they simply couldn't make a living as THE Gobbo-Gangsta-Rap duo of the area, the Rhymenoceros and the Hiphopopotamus decided to bring their talents and pent up frustration to the Pitch. They are an unstoppable force and will tag team their way through any opponent trying to get in their way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FArZxLj6DLk

'No! No Albi, you didnt kill me
with your dragon flames. I crawled
to safety, but I was left very badly
disfigured' laughed the boy.


A face like a pizza but a heart of gold, the badly burned Albanian boy became friends with his tormentor, Albi, and cured him of his racism. Not knowing what else to do after they were chased out of their village, the boy and Albi decided to join forces and travel with Fight of the Conchords to make a name for themselves on the Pitch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-jVAHAuiS4 />

'What's your name again?'
'Bret'
'Brit?'
'Bret'
'Brit? Like Brittaney?'
'Erm..no, like B-R-E-T'
'I like your English accent'

Bret is weedy, kinda shy, and simply has no luck with the ladies. So together with his pal Jemaine he decided to form Fight of the Conchords, hoping that'll finally get them the much desired attention from the ladies. Good luck, boys!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT5AQIlmM0I

'So we danced all night to the Rolling Stones
When I awoke they were chewing on bones
Yelyena was supping blood from a cup
That's when I knew that something was up'

As lovely a Gobbo lady as you will ever find, Yelyena and her husband Petrov joined Fight of the Conchord after a long, adventurous sailing trip. Rumor has it they were on the boat with another sailor who tried to poison them, but they survived and got rid of that bastard.

In her second game, she disappeared for a while after Albi, the racist Dragon had tossed her into the crowd in the attempt for a heroic last minute equalizer. There were rumors that she was torn to pieces by the fans of the opposing Chaos team, but she definetely is back! She said she barely got bruised and just got lost on the way back. There is something odd about this lady and her husband...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd__OpJNxuc&feature=iv&src_vid=RW5pInNini0&annotation_id=annotation_854061

Petrov, Yelyena and me
Lost but happy, at sea
Petrov and Yelyena said to me
"Shouldn't we have something to eat?"
I say "There are plenty of fish in the sea"
But all they can see is me.


Petrov is a Gentleman with an insane core. Rumor has it that him and his wife Yelyena were once lost on a boat in the middle of the ocean with another sailor. That mean bastard tried to poison them, but they survived. With new adventurous spirits, the quickly joined Fight of the Conchords upon their return and now run wild on the Pitch, thoroughly enjoying every second of it.

Reminded of sea-food, Petrov killed
this frog in this match in a crazy suicidal fit of anger.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd__OpJNxuc&feature=iv&src_vid=RW5pInNini0&annotation_id=annotation_854061

When I shake it, I shake it all up
You'd probably think that my pants had the mumps
It's just my sugalump bump-ba-bump
They look so good, that's why I keep them in the front


One of the founding members of Fight of the Conchords and a real ladykiller in his fantasy. He quickly agreed to Bret's plan to attract even more Ladies by touring on the Pitch, fool proof plan and so much better than being a prostitute!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ozSSseCh3U

'Are you talking bout a girl with a beautiful smile?'
'Yea'
'Like strawberry wine?'
'Yea, Yea'
'Blueberry track suit pants?'
'White chocolate skin?'
'And socks?'
'That sounds like her!'

Brabara (or was it Barbara?) is one of the girls both Bret and Jemaine fell in love with. They decided to make her part of Fight of the Conchords to impress her with their skills on the Pitch.
Having a wonky eye and a tendency to lose things (including her dog), Brabara finally saw a chance for a career for herself in becoming a Blood Bowl player.
Let lose, Brabara, but don't get too distracted by Bret's guns and Jemaine's knee!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beQ9yChEcHw

You're so beautiful
You could be a waitress
You're so beautiful
You could be an air hostess in the 60s
You're so beautiful
You could be a part...time...model


... but instead, Jemaine convinced his (and Bret's former) love interest to become a Blood Bowl player. Makes sense. This way she can spend part of her time modelling, and half of her time next to him, on the pitch. True Romance!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jLDZjMF3tk