Not just any mummy, JoJan's mummy. Never played guitar, but bought one anyway, just so Yon Soroth would have something to stop him from cranking it to the Little Mermaid whenever he'd come over.

Guitar and vocals, frontman of the band. Violence-oriented problem solving and low impulse control combine on a highway paved with ambitious drug use, high-risk sexual misadventures, and ill-advised fight-picking. If he parks a line of meth before the game, you're in trouble; if he chews eleven Gravol, you might stand a chance. He's as uncertain as a 1db, but what's as assured as a failed endzone GFI is that he'll be feeding it to a disgusting cheerleader after the game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6omKzcK_PwQ

Bassist, thespian, comedian, and team sleep-therapist. JoJan's time among the living ended, mercifully, the day after he started losing his hair. Has never played a game he didn't almost miss because of oversleeping. Has been known to fake a KO when stunned. His locker room antics endear him to teammates, his low-blocks enrage his opponents, and his tight pants engorge many a high elf.

Drummer, renaissance man, and unrivalled sexual deviant. CW was sticking knick-knacks where the sun don't shine before he could walk (gingerly). Once said of his own percussion prowess, "I'm pretty good, I just can't keep a beat". Overestimates his BB skills and often relies on a pathological need to protect his massive ego to get him through games in one piece. He drools, he trips, he has trouble starting sentences, and he just might lull you into a (somewhat) false sense of superiority.

In life he was a top-level break dancer, a ladykiller, and the band's biggest fan. In death, a mid-level break dancer, a lady-killer, and the team's youngest member. His signature "Life Cereal Feeding Frenzy" endzone dance makes him a crowd favourite at home and on the road. A lithe liar, LJ can smooth talk an opponent into missing a block. No matter what the dice say, he's ALWAYS down (FTW).

The twisted incarnation of a ridiculous war cry

A lesser god-king and captain of the team. Strange myths entwine with unspeakable facts, creating mysterious tales of his origin and smutty hymns about his childhood.

A one-eyed bore who never got the joke, never had a clue, and never saw the bus that hit him.

The enigmatic Ah-Yen. AKA #56. The shuffling animated corpse of a Chinese laundromat worker. There may be more here than meets the eye.

Older brother of CW, Ray is despised up and down the roster. His ongoing inclusion is the result of his Amway connections, made while among the (barely) living.

Sans skin, organs, and a sense of humour, Box Man was killed in the team's debut, again in their second game and once more in their fifth. His subsequent resurrections were not universally endorsed.

A former Dark (ass)Pirate, GRE was plucked from life's warm embrace by JoJan. Denied eternal rest as punishment for standing up for himself and given game MVP as reward for same.

An orc blitzer, killed on the glorious pitch of battle, resurrected from the only part of him that the zombies managed to wrest away from their opponents...his hamstring.