"I may not know much about horses, but I know a lot about doing anything for one dollar."

"My life, and by extension everyone else's, is meaningless."

"Good news everyone!"

"You just have to give guys a chance. Sometimes you meet a guy and think he's a pig, but then later you realize he actually has a really good body."

"My manwich!"

"It is possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers."

"If we hit that bullseye the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."

"If this is anything like killing that pigeon on my balcony, we've got our work cut out for us."

"You haven't seen the last of Barbados Slim! Now goodbye, forever!"

"Scruffy's gonna die the way he lived."

"You call that a pressed ham?"

"I don't want to be an inventor. I want to be something useful like a teacher's aide or a prison guard or a science fiction cartoon writer."

---

Retired after suffering a smashed ankle on a block from a Snotling, for crying out loud.