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Parks and Wreckreation
"What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people loudly caring at me."
"Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but, God, at what cost?"
"Scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. I believe I am that human being.”
"I really only listen to, like, German death reggae."
"I think Comic Sans always screams fun!"
"I love you like a brother. But right now I hate you, like my actual brother Lavondrious, who I hate."
"Oh, I have a medical condition all right. It's called CARING TO MUCH!"