"Feelin' a little sluggish, think I need a snap of the white liquor."

"It's not my fault. My counselor told me it was society's fault, not mine."

"Listen - I've got some frozen burgers, and I was wondering if I could put them in your freezer 'til I find a new place to live."

"Well, I've been out of jail for a week now and it's time for me to make some important decisions in my life. I'm gonna go to community college. I'm either gonna become an electrician, a meat cutter, or I'm gonna get into television and radio broadcasting."

"Chicken and bangin'. That's nice..."

"What are you lookin' at my eyes for? I ain't got no candy for you, you see some candy?"

"Thirty bucks? I don't have that kind of money!"

"Listen. What we have here, Jim, is a s**twolf. Do you know what a s**twolf is? You never seem to have that crucial little thing called evidence. But each time you cry s**twolf, and each time I come running"

"The only way Ricky is gonna get any smarter is if he dies and comes back as a turnip. He just keeps on getting stupider, Julian."

"Why don't you go back to the bowling alley where you came from, helmet head?"

"I shot my Daddy in the bum and Mommy's gonna get mad at me."

"Julian, where's the hand cream?"

"See? He's just a big, stoned, horny kitty."