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Strickland Propane
"The only woman I'm pimping is sweet lady propane! And I'm tricking her out all over this town."
"I don't know you! That's my purse!"
Claw
Disturbing Presence
Frenzy
Loner
Wild Animal
"Today my life enters phase two: the GOOD years!"
"Well, I passed lather, but I failed rinse...and then I failed repeat, because it includes rinse, which I don't think is very fair!"
"Hey Hank's Wife, if you have an opinion to share, why don't you go in the kitchen and put it in a bundt cake."
"If I wanted to watch my wife on Super Bowl Sunday, I would've married Fran Tarkenton."
"Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man."
"Hello, ladies! Now, I'm not much to look at but I got a lot of money!"
"Hmmm, I guess there is that song about killing myself. I could re-write it so it's about personal hygiene."
"Haven't they replaced you with a coin operated machine yet?"