Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet.

In an age before Atlantis rose, an age rife with sorcery and violence, the earth trembled beneath the all-conquering hooves of the Kitzaak Horde, and only one man, Gath of Baal, dares to confront the Kitzaak lances. To save the peaceful people of the forest, Gath must dice with the gods, and the price he must pay is to become death made flesh, The Prisoner of the Horned Helmet.

Unfortunately, he didn't read the disclaimer tag on the inside of the helm 'Not guaranteed to prevent concussions' and in his 2nd match he received a severe skull fracture.

There once was a barbarian
Who roamed about the plains,
And used the power of his sword
To substitute for brains.
His mighty swords are in his hands
His eyes are flaming red,
He doesn't have a bit of fear
Or brains inside his head.

Bronze Boot Winner Season 1 (Most yards rushed)

Dave: I never wanted to be a Barbarian!
Fang: You did when you were ten!
Dave: Only because I thought it meant a librarian who also cuts hair.

Born Valcan of Pytharia, Claw took his name after his clawed, scaly left hand which appears to be of demonic origin. Either that, or the result of severe inbreeding among the sparse nomadic tribes of the northern tundra.

The Great Cities have risen and fallen. Civilization's grip on mankind has grown weak and arthritic. Dark forces seek to renew forgotten covenants, and primordial beasts reclaim the wilderness. Out of the frozen north, a man emerges - a man of a barbaric age, whose merciless savagery may be the only key to his survival. They call him Korgoth!

Korgoth- Hairy balls of the gods! I didn't know there would be this much talking...

Interestingly, there are no lemurs in Lemuria.

Although he has never earned a single star player point, Thongor played a crucial role in helping the Loincloths clinch the Poutine Cup in Season 1.
Pinned between two lumberjacks, alone deep within the enemy zone, Thongor dodged to freedom and raced across the pitch to single-handedly tackle the star ball carrier Paul Bunyan, leading to a defensive touchdown and a tie which sealed the championship. Onwards, to glory!

Hanging high
From the rafters where Beowulf had hung it,
was the monster's Arm,
claw, and shoulder and all.

The more I see of what you call civilization, the more highly I think of what you call savagery!

'No, I am not He-Man. Who by the Lords of Light is that?'

No, not the emo kind.


Slew the reanimated corpse of this player vs. the Slaves of the Amarok.

The Scourge of God!

Flavius Aetius: 'Civilized men are easy to conquer, but civilization still belongs to the civilized, not the barbarians.'

Attila the Hun: 'It belongs to whoever is strong enough to take it.'

Once killed some guys by throwing a camel at them.

A Hyrkanian thief, archer and devoted ally of Conan the Cimmerian.


Subotai: [jumps to his feet] I am Subotai! Thief and archer! I am Hyrkanian... the great order of Kerlait!
Conan: So what are you doing here?
Subotai: [holds up chains] Dinner for wolves?

"I am Druss. Sometimes called the Captain of the Axe. The Drenai call me the Silver Slayer. The Nadir call me Deathwalker. Amongst the Vagrians I am called the Sender. But who are you? You pieces of dung-eating offal! WHO ARE YOU?!"