From roadside chef to commander of his own demon horde, the one and only Colonel himself. His brilliant homestyle fried chicken tossed in a blend of 11 herbs and spices not only ended world war 2, but gained the favour of the demonlord Tzeentch himself. The Colonel has been blessed with demonic powers and is able to change himself, though he still hasn't worked out the kinks and doesnt have complete control over his form.

Welcome your family to the dinner table with the Big Crunch®. It all begins with our extra crispy, seasoned chicken breast, topped with lettuce and dressed with mayonnaise sauce, served on a warm oval Kaiser bun. This sandwich packs a big punch, particularly due to it's massive demon arms.

Salt, Thyme, Basil, Oregano, Celery Salt, Black Pepper, Dried Mustard, Paprika, Garlic Salt, Ground Ginger and White Pepper. Alone, each spice is a mere seasoning, but together, they form a flavour so powerful even God himself was jealous of it's creation. Merely having the recipe whispered in your ear is enough to be set into a hallucinatory gaze.

Upon tasting the Colonels recipe, this warrior grew 2 extra arms so that he could lick even more fingers clean.

The Double Down, never in history has a more sinister sandwich existed. It's godless form - Fried Chicken, Cheese, Bacon, Cheese, and then again Fried Chicken, is an unholy corruption born of pure evil. It was first creation that both the Colonel and Tzeentch directly collaborated on, under the blood-moon on the day of the black sabbath. Looking directly at it's godless form has been said to increase cholesterol to levels fatal even to other demons.

Popcorn chicken, the Colonel's secret weapon. It took him decades to configure a formula to fit such big flavour into these bite sized beauties, and over 9 million sacrifices. Anyone would agree this was a small price to pay.

It is said that Satan himself had a glass of milk after enjoying a Hot and Spicy Zinger and described it as "Hotter than the Devils asshole," and he would know.

The KFTz Original Recipe Toazted Twizter (c) has flavor SO BIG it will spiral OUT OF CONTROL and decimate your taste buds.

Well every once in a while people ask me about Buckethead. Why does he wear a mask and bucket. What happened to his parents. Is he part robot, will he hurt us, is he really Colonel Sanders son, on and on and on. Well I can't tell you everything about Bucket but I can tell you something.

First of all you gotta understand Buckethead grew up real lonely on that farm. He figured no one understood him. The only thing they understood about him was how to treat him bad. To this very day, believe it or not, Buckethead does not like to be shocked with a cattle prod.

It wasn't all bad, though, on the farm. As soon as he moved into the chicken coop he started to make new friends. The chickens took real good care of him, and they liked him so much they scratched his face off. Now he could wear a mask every day, just like Halloween! He was the luckiest boy he knew. He didn't know many other boys though, except those kids who lit him on fire that time.

One good way to forget the smell of burning cartilage was watching movies. Down the hill from the coop, and through a knothole in the fence, was the drive-in theater. Every night at dusk the boy could watch great movies like GIANT ROBOT or THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE. The speakers wouldn't reach to the coop though so he didn't even know what the movies sounded like. All he heard was chickens when Leatherface would slam the big metal door shut.

So when he got to be about THIS tall Buckethead started playing his little guitar. He would sit and watch the movies and his fingers couldn't stop moving and now all the sudden there was music. And Giant Robot would shoot rockets out of his fingers and who knows what would happen.
Buckethead practiced so much he started to get real good. But the people on the farm still made fun of him and smashed his family's eggs. One night, after he got to be this tall, somebody threw a bucket of fried chicken into the coop. Try as he might, Buckethead couldn't put the chicken back together again. So he put the bucket on his head, picked up his guitar and ran to the cemetery.

Buckethead was real sad but it seemed like he played guitar better than ever. All the grey people and angels in the cemetery listened to the music and it was so beautiful they just stood still and speechless. He figured the spirits of all the fried chickens he ever knew were channeling into him through the bucket, and he played until he collapsed.

Well it prob'ly won't surprise you to hear that eventually the sun came up and the rooster crowed. And some folks say Buckethead had chicken grease and barbecue sauce smeared around the mouth hole on his mask. Whatever happened that night, the bucket stayed on his head, and in the morning it was filled full of chicken bones.


When they found him curled up in a grave like that the people on the farm felt real bad, so they tried to be kinda nice to him for a while. They brought him water in the morning and let him have their scraps. For Christmas he even got an old shovel so he could look for more friends in the cemetery. But the best thing of all was when the farmhand showed him how to sneak into Disneyland disguised as a Pirate of the Carribean or a Haunted Mansion ghost.
For the first time in his life, Buckethead knew what he had to do. Disneyland was the greatest city he'd ever been to. Everybody was nice, they talked to him and sang songs, and they moved more realistically than his friends in the cemetery. So he burned down his coop and headed for Main Street where he started playing his guitar for E-Tickets. He learned all the songs and movements but every time he tried to get a job as an animatronic, they pulled him through a trapdoor.

Well if he couldn't live in Disneyland he had to live somewhere. He knew that if he built a park like Mr. Disney did, people all around the world would come visit him. Or even if they didn't, the park would be full of his audio-animatronic friends. He'd allow chickens inside, and he'd build a huge cemetery in the middle with the statues and tombstones specially lined up to create the best acoustics.

When Bucketheadland opened quietly in 1989 most people couldn't even tell it was a park. Its humble rides were made mostly out of rusty tractor parts and a bunch of sticks and animal bones tied together with spider silk. Buckethead knew he had to start working for money if he wanted to maintain the park, and they didn't make E-Tickets anymore anyway. He started cutting meat in a delicatessen, where he met Maximum Bob and formed his first band, Deli Creeps.

For the next 13 years, Buckethead travelled around the world playing guitar, recording records, making friends, and learning the secrets of embalming, theme park engineering and martial arts. He recorded many albums with himself or his friends or in bands like Praxis, Giant Robot, Giant Robot 2, El Stew, Thanatopsis, and Cobrastrike. He felt bad that he didn't have time to play music for the drive-in, so he recorded some film scores with Michael Kamen, George S. Clinton and John Carpenter. All of these adventures strengthened Buckethead's imagination and helped the Bucketheadland park grow into the world of dreams and nightmares that we all love.

Nowa days you can still see Buckethead wandering around the park at night, or peeking through a crack on the other side of a wall you don't remember being there before. Don't be afraid, he's a nice kid, and he wants to be your friend. In Bucketheadland he never gets lonely.

But if you see him on stage somewhere or playing with his dolls, for crying out loud don't make fun of the boy. He's had a tough life and he's worked hard getting where he is. So what if he looks confused up there. You would too if you'd been through all that. He just wants us to accept him. Don't stare at him or overcompensate and be too nice. Come on people lets use some common sense here, we don't want to set him off. Thanks.

The drum stick, thusly named after the Colonel transformed into the drummer known as John Bonham and improvised the drum solo that came to be known as "Moby Dick".

Beloved Tendy, a piece of seasoned fried chicken so perfect the Colonel used his demonic powers to give it life. As the Colonels only child, he is considered the prince of the KFTz empire and will one day inherit the throne.

What is a prince of darkness without his princess?

After taking a heavy hit against the FAC Villians and getting helped off the field, Tendy was taken to the KFTz medical tent. When the nurse turned her head Tendy's way, her beautiful golden hair flipping through the air, her bright blue eyes, and her golden cooked-to-perfection skin, it was love at first sight. The way she cared for him reminded him of the way his mother cared for him as an egg, before they were both slaughtered for chicken meat and turned into delectable KFTz demon tenderz.

Unsure of his fate in the upcoming Spice Cup finals, he got down on one crumb and asked her to make him the happiest chicken tender in the world and become his wife. Crying tears of BBQ sauce she happily said yes, and they immediately went on their honey dipping-sauce-moon. She will join Tendy on the pitch in the finals, with Double Down out with a serious injury.