BIG DARGON WINS AGAIN!
I AM THE GREETEST!
NOW I AM destroying kings landing FOR NO RAISIN!

Bijou is a somewhat unworldly hamster who loves her blue ribbons, but she is not above getting dirty when she needs to. Boss approached her and offered her a job to pay off her debts from buying too many blue ribbons to pay in her hair. When she refused saying "there is no money in the world that would make me want to sleep with you" he brought up the Blood Bowl. Bijou took some time to decide but eventually sided with the idea. Money, Fame, and a chance to defend Hamtaro? What more could this sweet little hamster ask for.

After dying to an unfortunate accident not caused by any coaching error, Boss took it upon himself to rebuild her. Faster. Stronger. Harder. Bitcher. She now has a lock on you and will show you true terror as she divebombs you from across the field. Beware, for she has arisen.

Penelope is like a little sister to Pashmina. There is an emphasis on "like" because Penelope doesn't conform to your gender stereotypes. Penelope joined Boss in his Blood Bowl league only to prove that they could be strong and tough while also being cute and fluffy. In a way, this is a big deal to Penelope, because they want to show the whole league that it's okay to be who you are, even if it means you're a murdering psychopath.

I am writing my own bio, because the moron writing the other bios is too stupid to coherently convey my intellect to the masses. I'm very smart. Like so smart my IQ is at least 600. A leftist like you doesn't even come close to understanding many of the things I have chosen to forget out of boredom. Boss offered me this job, not because of my skills at beating my opponents to a pulp, but for knowing the entirety of Game of Thrones, word for word and the strategies used at the battles therein. My tactical prowess will aid us in overcoming the destitute of brain matter that we shall call the enemy teams. When we win, Pashmina will surely understand that it was only due to my massive brain and fall madly in love with me, if not I'll be forced to defend her on the Internet until she does.

Patrick is what happens when a man fucks a robit named Rattrap. After he was discarded into a river by his unwanting parents, Boss took him in, and fed him a healthy diet of Coke and Cocaine, the best diet for a growing Ham. What became of him was a big strong Ham who doesn't shut up. Boss put him on the team, not because of his skill, but because he doesn't want to go to jail for murdering Patrick and hopes that this may be a way out. So far, no luck, as all the enemy team just quits because of migraines from having a simple discussion with the him. Boss may have signed him up as fodder, but it's possible that Patrick may indeed, be their secret weapon for winning this league.

After several games, Boss was making too much money, so he hired a bookkeeper. Maxwell was a perfect pick. He had already been a bookie for several Blood Bowl betters and was very good with numbers. The only downside is he's a huge nerd and no one really wants him around because of his constant need to bring up Codex and how it's the perfect game. He probably won't last long, but Boss doesn't care, so long as he can get his fix.