1st Game vs Gravesend Wanderers- Pathetic from the short man with the big hit. Managed 5 blocks the whole game, which would be unacceptable but was one of the few that managed to remain on the field. So..... 4/10

2nd Game vs Fellhart's Fanatics- A first glimmer of ability from this chorf with 9 blocks, one of which actually hurt someone, but otherwise average. 5/10

3rd Game vs Wulfrik's Wanderers- Ugly, ugly game. Managed 5 blocks before getting smashed off the field with a pinched nerve. 3/10

1st Game vs Gravesend Wanderers- Unstoppable?! Hardly fucking started. 1/10

2nd Game vs Fellhart's Fanatics - Gharg managed 11 blocks but made absoloutely no impact on the game. 3/10

3rd Game vs Wulfrik's Wanderers- Once again didn't even start but by some miracle was voted MVP. Pathetic. 1/10

1st Game vs Gravesend Wanderers- 6 blocks and managed to stay on the field the entire game, which probably should have seen him in contention for MVP. But none of the bastards deserved it. 5/10

2nd Game vs Fellhart's Fanatics- 8 blocks. An improvement. But hardly the stuff of legends is it? 4/10

3rd Game vs Wulfrik's Wanderers- 8 blocks. No impact on the game at all. Make me want to puke. 3/10

1st Game vs Gravesend Wanderers- 5 blocks and survived the whole game. Hardly the stuff of legends is it? Should have been called Barruk Coachscream. 4/10

2nd Game vs Fellhart's Fanatics- 8 blocks in the whole game. 'Eye' Scream alright. 4/10

3rd Game vs Wulfrik's Wanderers- Actually managed to hurt someone in his 5 blocks. Before he got hurt. He screamed. I screamed. Looking a bit wonky eyed and won't be available next match. Would be sacked and replaced if the team treasury could stretch that far. 4/10

1st Game vs Gravesend Wanderers- 7 blocks and the only Defilers touchdown. Hammerlord spent the rest of the game desperately trying to make up for his other teammates. Would like to see in better circumstances. 7/10

2nd Game vs Fellhart's Fanatics- Somehow got voted the MVP for his 7 blocks which would have been laughable only... well someone needed to get it. 4/10

3rd Game vs Wulfrik's Wanderers- Basically carried the whole team with his partner in blitzing. 11 blocks, one seriously injuring the Norse Big Boy. Finally looking alright. 7/10

1st Game vs Gravesend Wanderers- Somehow Khokbals seven blocks were enough to get him the MVP this game. Must have been some good blocks. Average. 6/10

2nd Game vs Fellhart's Fanatics- 6 blocks and nothing else. Mediocre! 5/10

3rd Game vs Wulfrik's Wanderers- Only four blocks but got in good position and had a good run with ball in hand. Looks to be improving. 6/10

1st Game vs Gravesend Wanderers- Actually managed to pick up the ball and run it before a brain explosion led him to attempt a pass. Got a foul in too. 4/10

2nd Game vs Fellhart's Fanatics- Once again managed to pick up the ball and run quite a distance, and made a block too! Boots were not shiny though. 4/10

3rd Game vs Wulfrik's Wanderers- Nobby by name, Nobby by nature. One foul before getting knocked out and spending the rest of the game hiding in the dugout pretending to be unconcious. And the teams boots are even dirtier if thats possible. 1/10

1st Game vs Gravesend Wanderers- Cuddy did what we needed him to do, which was be smashed around the field like a rag doll. And then bring out the water. 3/10

2nd Game vs Fellhart's Fanatics- Managed 5 blocks which probably should be a good thing but actually is just evidence of his shoddy positioning. Looked terrified with ball in hand. Whole team looked dehydrated. 3/10

3rd Game vs Wulfrik's Wanderers- Ran the ball a whole 5 yards before getting smashed and spending the rest of the time crying in the dugout. Water tasted funny. 1/10

1st Game vs Gravesend Wanderers- Dobby managed a few blocks, and even ran the ball towards the end of the game leading to Gravesends desperate last minute defence. Still shit and forgot the oranges. 4/10

2nd Game vs Fellhart's Fanatics- Dobby was forced to make a block, undoubtedly against his will, and desperately tried to get sent off by fouling but ultimately had to stay on the pitch the whole game. Still no oranges. 2/10

3rd Game vs Wulfrik's Wanderers- Never made it on the field. Spent the whole time trying to peel practice balls and pass them off as oranges. NR

1st Game vs Gravesend Wanderers- Name says it all. What a Choad. The only reason he isn't sacked is the thought of him washing his own blood and bile out of his uniform pleases me. 1/10

2nd Game vs Fellhart's Fanatics- Got knocked out late in the game, but only managed to get in the way of one filthy elf. A real true life Choad! Uniforms were still filthy too. 1/10

3rd Game vs Wulfrik's Wanderers- Uniforms were filthy from the kick off, and beginning to smell bad enough to upset the Chorfs. My assistant coaches report informs me he was on the field for most of the game, but failed to do anything. An absolute balls out Choad. 1/10