Skill ups :
1st: Block (done)
2nd: Guard
3rd: Stand Firm
4th: Mighty Blow
Doubles; Dodge
+ST

1st Game vs Wyzard's Halfling Comedent Illud - Dizzy spent his time on the field playing it up to the punters, running around the opposition Treeman with his trademarked DIZZY SPIN! Great entertainment from a true professional. How he found time to throw that singular block is beyond me. 1/10

2nd vs JuVkE's Lizards Malinas Dragonflyyies - Seven big blocks from our Dizzy, who kept the crowd on the edge of their seats with his trademarked DIZZY SPIN! Fantastical performance from a real entertainer! 6/10

3rd Game vs Pierogi's Wood Elf Puttes'Chaumont - Although it might appear that four blocks in this game is an underachievement for such a superb athlete, Dizzy wowed crowds with his positional play, covering the midfield and making sure the horrible elvses could not score. Hypnotised the opposition with liberal application of his patented DIZZY SPIN! 5/10

4th Game vs Ghost19's Human Empire Knightz - Another game that showed Dizzys complete knowledge of positional marking. He played up to crowd with some massive blocks and held the opposition firm in the midfield with his zany antics. 6/10

5th Game vs exefokkers Dark Elf Ips'witch Town Veterans XI - Dizzy finally opened his eyes as he was being loaded into the cart to be taken back to the team camp. "Wad da fug appind bos?' He asked, blinking back tears and grasping his coaches arm in pain. " me jus starded me treydmarced Dizzi spin an den! Boom! Blaknis! Did da stans kolaps on me?"
"No Dizzy," his coach replied, desperately tryin the release the Black Orcs one good hand from his arm. "You got tackled.
"I fuggin dout dat bos. I fuggin dout dat."
The coach stood, rubbing his arm, listen to the horses hooves strike the cobble and wondering whether the Big Brute would ever be back. 2/10

6th Game vs Beer's Human Dragon Friends - 'Waz goin on? Wer iz evrywun? Wiy did thay leeve me behin?' NR

7th Game vs UnderWater's Birthday Surprise - 'Me fout it waz gunna ge gud to be bak but dose ratties were yuck! Dey kep runnin awae an dey smelt bad!' 3/10

8th Game vs Felicsdude332's Paulitonians - 'Dat waz a tuff, fisicel gaem bud wun me fink me ekselled at. Goin tow ta tow wif dem ogers waz grate fun an me kant waet ta do it agin.' 5/10

9th Game vs Buu88's Dark Elf Dark Ni - 'Me fout it waz a predde eze dae in da offis to be onest bos. Onle problim waz dat dos elfses wer slipry as fug.' 4/10

10th Game vs moathman's Amazon Boys 2 Men -' Me aksept dis awurd noing dat me diserved it for shear presents alown. An da fakt dat dos gurls waz moor bizzy runnin awae from me dan aktulee plaeing da game.' 4/10

11th Game vs sulidamor's wood suli ranked -' Dem elvses iz dum an dis gaem is dum an da cruwd iz dum.' 1/10

TOTAL RATING - 5 Games - 4

Skill ups :
1st: Block (done)
2nd: Mighty Blow (done)
3rd: Frenzy
4th: Guard
Doubles; Side Step
+ST

1st Game vs Wyzard's Halfling Comedent Illud - In between his three enormously entertaining blocks, Firefly spent his time amazing the crowd with his incredible skills. Badly hurt a young halfling hefty called Taco Bell with one of his signature BURN BLOCKS! Great stuff. 7/10

2nd Game vs JuVkE's Lizards Malinas Dragonflyyies - Firefly flamed six opponents with blocks that shook the bleachers whilst amazing the crowd with his sublime play. Wonderful player! 6/10

3rd Game vs Pierogi's Wood Elf Puttes'Chaumont - Keeping to the center field and tormenting the opposition with his amazing BURN BLOCKS, Firefly's fearsome form kept the opposition at bay effortlessly and drove the crowd insane with awe! 4/10

4th Game vs Ghost19's Human Empire Knightz - Showing great leadership in the midfield, Firefly kept the crowd entranced with his liberal applications of his patented BURN BLOCKS! 4/10

5th Game vs exefokkers Dark Elf Ips'witch Town Veterans XI - "Fuggin gobbos wer makin me larf too much! So me dunt fink me got ta smash az meny panze elvses az me shud ave. But me fink I plaed a gud pozitonil gaem.... Kep dose darkes frum runnin rownd tu much! An en sumery me diserv dis aword coz me be da bess blak ork bloker en da wurld!"
MVP acceptance speech by Firefly 6/10

6th Game vs Beer's Human Dragon Friends - "Fuggin gobbos got hurtz bos. Me waz larfin so 'ard me cud beerly se wer me waz goin. Me finks me ren ova a few ov dem humies but me dunno, nun of em broek. " 7/10

7th Game vs UnderWater's Birthday Surprise - 'Kant talk now bos! Gotta wash al dis rat stink of me or missus Fishorc gonna make me sleep on da flor. Specilly afta da way me plaid!' 3/10

8th Game vs Felicsdude332's Paulitonians -'Dat waz absolut madnis bos! Hed to hed wid dem ogers wid al dem lil runtz chargin arund, waz da bes gaem me eva plaed in! Da cruwd waz luvin it! Me waz luvin it! An me gotta smash dem ogers up reel gud!' 8/10

9th Game vs Buu88's Dark Elf Dark Ni - 'Den elvses ar yuck! Evry tiem me tryd ta bash 'em dey slyp awey lik dey wer neva der. Me 'ates dem.' 4/10

10th Game vs moathman's Amazon Boys 2 Men -'Den gurls is yuck! Evry tiem me tryd ta bask 'e, dey slyp awey like dey didn wanna tuch me. Sept dat wun dat me 'urt. She wen down bad. Da cruwd fort it waz hileryos!' 8/10

11th Game vs sulidamor's wood suli ranked - 'Dem elvses ar dum! Me 'it wun, den me 'it anuda wun, den da nek wun me 'it... e' mustiv cheeted coz nek fing me new waz waekin up 'ere. Did we wyn?' 2/10

TOTAL RATING - 6 Games - 5.6

Skill ups :
1st: Block (done)
2nd: Guard (done)
3rd: Stand Firm
4th: Mighty Blow
+ST

1st Game vs Wyzard's Halfling Comedent Illud - A stellar performance from 'Money' amusing young and old with his antics. Two big blocks showed why this guy is paid the big bucks. Just wonderful. 3/10

2nd Game vs JuVkE's Lizards Malinas Dragonflyyies - A performance that could be broadcast by Cabalvision so parents could show their kids and say 'There! Thats how you play Blood Bowl!' 'Money' Merriorc put in seven blocks so big that women fainted in the crowd and men felt a deep existential dread just from the sound of his fleshy green skin slapping and smashing into raspy blue scales. Superlatives escape me! 6/10

3rd Game vs Pierogi's Wood Elf Puttes'Chaumont - A true hero that steers the ship on the right course. Once again Moneys positional play could be shown to rookies as the right way to go about things. Commanded the midfield with big presence and bigger hijinks! Truly amazing. 4/10

4th Game vs Ghost19's Human Empire Knightz - Show him the Money! What a player! 4 big blocks that rattled the stands and kept the humans down on the ground. 3/10

5th Game vs exefokkers Dark Elf Ips'witch Town Veterans XI - "Ow da fug did Fiyafli ged da aword!? E onli maed wun blok! Ow meny did me maek bos?"
His coach turned away from the sad sight of the cart hauling away Dizzy.
"One block, Money. You made one block."
The giant Black Orc Blockers brow furrowed as he extended his claw like fingers, utterly failing at his attempt at arithmetic.
"Iz wun blok mor dan wun blok bos?"
The coach sighed. "No Money. They are the same."
The greenskins eyes narrowed. "Mi blok bigga den." He scowled before hulking off to sulk on the field. 2/10
Excerpt from the coaches unauthorised autobiography 'How the hell did I end up here?!' Available in all reputable bookstores now!

6th Game vs Beer's Human Dragon Friends - "Evry tiem me loked an me culdn't se Dizzi den sudden lik me coudnt do nuffin. Me had lik a funni feels deap in da botom of me tummi lik me had et too menee gobbos. Do yu fink maebe me sik bos?"
The coach turned to the Black Orc Blocker, who had interrupted his conversation with the opposing coach, a new man on the scene who had proven to be very polite and proper.
"No, Money, not sick. Just scared I think."
The giant Black Orc Blockers brow furrowed as he tried to come to grips with this new concept.
"Wat is dis skerd bos?"
The coach sighed. " Its when you couldn't see your friend Dizzy, so you thought you might get hurt."
The greenskins eyes narrowed. "Skerd! Dun fink so bos. Skerd! No wae!" He scowled before hulking off to sulk in the club rooms. 2/10
Excerpt from the coaches unauthorised autobiography 'How the hell did I end up here?!' Available in all reputable bookstores now!

7th Game vs UnderWater's Birthday Surprise - 'Evry tiem bos! Evry tiem me tryd to hit dem dey ran awae. An den wen me did cach em dey smel so bad me culdnt do nuffin.'
The coach turned to the Black Orc Blocker, thankful at the interruption of the conversation between himself and the unpleasant opposition coach.
'Well Money, next time we'll have to plug up your nose with rags or something.'
The giant Black Orc Blockers brow furrowed as he desperately tried to understand what was being said to him.
"Wat is dis nos bos?"
The coach smiled, reached forward and quickly made a snapping motion in the Black Orcs face. He then held his fist in front of the Orcs face with his thumb stuck between two of his fingers.
"This is your nose Money. And I've got it."
The greenskins eyes widened in terror. "Bos has by dos! Bos has by dos!" he roared as he tore off in a panic, clawing at his own face. 2/10
Excerpt from the coaches unauthorised autobiography 'How the hell did I end up here?!' Now about to reach its second reprint and still available at all semi-reputable bookstores.

8th Game vs Felicsdude332's Paulitonians - 'Wel bos, me fink dat cudda gon worss! Dem ogers waz 'uge but dey stil culdnt ged me!'
The coach looked up from his playbook and sighed.
"Actually Money, the game is still going on. You just got smashed in a head on collision with one of the opposition ogres."
The giant Black Orc Blockers eyes seemed to lose focus as he attempted to raise his head from the filthy straw he was lying on.
'But... but de oger iz broek to bos?'
The coach, momentarily distracted by the play, looked down at the injured Blocker.
'No Money. He's still playing.'
The greenskins eyes narrowed. " Me don fink so bos. Me dout dat veri mush.' 3/10
Excerpt from the coaches unauthorised autobiography 'How the hell do I get out of this job?!' Preorders being taken at all semi-reputable bookstores.

9th Game vs Buu88's Dark Ni - 'Ha! Bowt tiem me wun de awurd. Doh me don member doin nuddin owt der todae.'
The coach sighed and let go of the trophy. There was no point in arguing with the Black Orc now.
"Ok Money, you win... take the trophy. I'll just have to tell Cheese that knocking out three elves, killing another, and scoring the tieing touchdown doesn't compare to your three blocks. Congratulations."
The huge Orcs eyes narrowed as his tiny peanut sized brain completely failed to grasp the concept of sarcasm.
'Guud. He dum anewey. Me win! Munee win!'
The coach gingerly rubbed the back of his head, unsure what to do next. The team blitzers sure were'nt gonna be happy that they'd missed out on the MVP award.
'Yeah Money. You win."
The greenskins eyes narrowed even further. " Yeh. Dat's wad me saed bos. Munee win!' 2/10
Excerpt from the coaches unauthorised autobiography 'How the hell do I get out of this job?!' On sale now at all semi-reputable bookstores.

10th Game vs moathman's Boys 2 Men - 'Dunno wad happind owt dere todae bos. Dos gurls waz funnee.'
The coach put his tankard down on the bar and turned around to face Money.
'I think I know what happened out there today, Money... but it's alright son. These things happen.'
The Black Orc Blockers cheeks reddened, giving him a rather unpleasant purple hue. ' Dem gurls waz al squishee bos! An den wen me maed me takel, she waz al soft, an smeel reel gud. Den me feel al funnee in me pants.'
Slightly embarrassed, the coach handed the Orc a mug of ale and patted him on the arm.
' I know you don't get to play against ladies a lot Money, but next time... maybe you could just tackle them... instead of trying to help them across the mud. And sniffing them. And giving them flowers. And running around giggling. Oh, yeah, and maybe cut out the crying when they run away from you.'
The greenskins skin flushed even purpler. ' Ookay bos, bud ya godda admit dat dem gurls were preddy seksy.'
'Honestly? Some of them were bigger than you Money.... Some of them were bigger than you.' 1/10
Excerpt from the coaches unauthorised autobiography 'How the hell do I get out of this job?!' Discounted copies available at all disreputable bookstores.

11th Game vs sulidamors wood suli ranked - 'Me nek feels al squishy bos. Wad da fug appened?'
The coach tried to help the apothecary straighten up the big guy's neck. Luckily his head was so twisted around he couldn't see the team doctor signalling to the coach that it was broken. Like... shattered broken.
'We got beaten Money. We got beaten real bad.'
The Black Orc Blocker's eyes were surprisingly lucid as they rested him down onto the floor of the dugout. 'Me kant feel me leegs bos.'
The coach nearly choked with emotion. Eleven games and this was the first time he'd had a player injured.
'I'm sure we'll fix you up Money.' he said, wiping the dust from his eyes.
The greenskins eyes narrowed. 'No. Don fiks me. Iff me kant feel den me kan smash 'arder an not feel da payn. Me be a smashin masheen!'
'I hope so Money.... I really do.' 1/10
Excerpt from the tattered remains of some dirty old book that was lying in the ablution block out the back of the Harm'Em Globetrotters clubrooms.

TOTAL MATCH RATING -

Skill ups :
1st: Mighty Blow (done)
2nd: Tackle (done)
3rd: Guard (done
4th:
Doubles; Dodge
+MA +ST +AG

1st Game vs Wyzard's Halfling Comedent Illud - Passing, blocking, running.... is there anything this true professional cannot do? Bulldog was in great form showing the crowd that Blood Bowl is in his blood.... 3/10

2nd Game vs JuVkE's Lizards Malinas Dragonflyyies - Somehow Bulldog managed to put in 3 big blocks and even run a few yards with the ball, all the while thrilling the spectators with his unparalleled skills and superb showmanship.... 3/10

3rd Game vs Pierogi's Wood Elf Puttes'Chaumont - This allrounders debut touchdown left the crowd in raptures and his coach in heaven. Good yardage combining with hilarious antics to really entertain the masses and give the fans what they want. 8/10

4th Game vs Ghost19's Human Empire Knightz - A real all round effort on the pitch to win the Most Valuable Player award! Ran a bit, hit a bit and entertained the crowd a lot! Wonderful! Has shown in training and on the pitch that he had improved his hitting technique out of sight, and can now hit a lot harder for a lot longer. 6/10

5th Game vs exefokkers Dark Elf Ips'witch Town Veterans XI - 'Me feeld da dodgee liddle buggas 'ip jus shatta! It waz soo funne, da croud waz laffing, me waz laffing. Da elv wiv da brokn 'ip waz laffin so mush 'e 'ad teers cuming oot of 'is eys! Den me piks up da bal an run. Me fink me guna skor but den suden lik out of nowher, anuva elv 'its me an me drops da bal. wher wer da blak orks den? Blokkers mi ars! Nun of dem deserv eny awurd.' 8/10

6th Game vs Beer's Human Dragon Fiends - 'Me tellin ya bos, me just fel hem braek! Da croud waz skremin and laffin, an me waz laffin, an da humie wooda bin laffin to but he waz havin a sleap so he missd me zanee antiks! Den me grab da bal an run, but me forget der onle free blak orks so den da humies takle me an me drops da bal! But me stil deserv da awurd.' 7/10

7th Game vs UnderWater's Birthday Surprise - 'Wat in nuffels naem 'it me bos?! Me felt lik me waz 'it by a slegammer!' 2/10

8th Game vs Felicsdude332's Paulitonians - ' Itwaz wunna dem gaems bos wher it al jus cum togetha. Momen me 'it dat lil runt me waz lik, oh yeh me broeken it! Den a bid lader me waz runnin in da bal an me waz lik, me guna skor an me did! So wy da fug didn me ged da awurd?' 9/10

9th Game vs Buu88's Dark Ni - ' Didn madda 'ow manee ov dem me 'it, dey wuldnt braek. Kep jus nokking dem owt. Bud stiyl. Nokked a loada dem elvs owt eh Bos!' 6/10

10th Game vs moathman's Amazon Boys 2 Men -'Har har! Dem waz skwishee az fug bos! Me kep finkin me 'ad broeken dem... bud dey waz jus soft and skwishee.... wen we plaein gurls agaen?' 7/10

TOTAL RATING - 6 Games - 5.8

Skill ups :
1st: Tackle (done)
2nd: Mighty Blow (done)
3rd: Guard (done)
4th:
Doubles ; Dodge
+MA +ST +AG

1st Game vs Wyzard's Halfling Comedent Illud - Hot stuff from a real Hot Shot.
Four bone crunching blocks were somehow put in while just being an amazing performer. And a nice guy to boot. 3/10

2nd Game vs JuVkE's Lizards Malinas Dragonflyyies - White hot play from the big Blitzer... 10 blocks, all putting Lizards on their behinds in the most comical fashion. And a genuinely friendly person! 6/10

3rd Game vs Pierogi's Wood Elf Puttes'Chaumont - 'Hot Shot' his coach said to him before the game. ' Hot Shot! I know its not what you want to hear but I need you in the backfield so none of those filthy elvses slip through. I know how much you love being in the thick of it, crushing skulls and stealing the hearts of our adoring fans... but if we're gonna get the win here I need you sweeping up the rear.' Unable to hide the pain in his eyes Hot Shot nodded. 'Off kors bos. Georc fuggin di for da teem bos.' he said quietly and selflessly took his place deep within his own half. 10/10

4th Game vs Ghost19's Human Empire Knightz - An epic game from Hot Shot who the coach unleashed after keeping him in a defensive role last game. Good hits and hugely entertaining runs were crowned off with one crunching block that killed the humie blitzer Vladimir. 'I new e waz ded befor e evin 'it da grund boiz.' Hot Shot told reporters after the game. 10/10

5th Game vs exefokkers Dark Elf Ips'witch Town Veterans XI - 'Wher wer da blak orks? Evry tyme me tri to run da bal, sum shiftee lil elvsis cum oot of nower an 'it me. Me spen mos of da gaem lyin on da gras or atemptin to pik up da bal. An dey ar givin MVP's to Blak Orks? Stoopid!' 4/10

6th Game vs Beer's Human Dragon Friends - 'Waddaya meen bos, wad waz me doin oud dere? Me waz hittin humies. Wazzin me falt dat dey kep movin outta da way, waz it? An dey ar giving MVP to ova fulla now? So Stoopid! 2/10

7th Game vs UnderWater's Birthday Surprise - 'Evry tiem me tryd to run da bal dat fing wid da klaw an da stink cum at me. It waz veri disconc.... disconcer... fugged up.' 4/10

8th Game vs Felicsdude332's Paulitonians - 'Dat waz a suprys to me geddin da awurd. Me fink dat maebe Torch diservd it mor. O wel. Me fuggin wun da awurd so fug evry wun els.' 5/10

9th Game vs Buu88's Dark Ni -' Dem elfs iz slipry buggas bos! Evre tiem me bash wun e jus ged nokked owt insted ov diein'. Cheeten elvses!' 6/10

10th Game vs moathman's Amazon Boys 2 Men - 'Dat waz reel nyis bos. Dem gurls stink guud an dey wer soft. Me wanna plae en a gurls leeg.' 6/10

TOTAL RATING - 6 Games - 5.8

Skill ups :
1st: Mighty Blow (done)
2nd: Tackle (done)
3rd: Guard (done)
4th: Stand Firm
5th: Frenzy (if +ST)
+MA +ST

1st Game vs Wyzard's Halfling Comedent Illud - A real crowd favourite, Torch put the flings to the flame, Badly Hurting 'Carls Jr' and generally creating mayhem amongst the opposition players. Running and smashing are his game, Torch is his name.... a great performer. 7/10

2nd Game vs JuVkE's Lizards Malinas Dragonflyyies - Showing off to the crowd and scoring a touchdown, Torch had a blinder and showed the Blood Bowl world that a new star is on the scene! 7/10

3rd Game vs Pierogi's Wood Elf Puttes'Chaumont - Torch really shone a light on the fragility of the filthy elvses defence this game. 'Bos,' he said after the game. ' Bos, me be shattid. Skord wun, broek wun, an run a long wae!' Really the player that keeps this teams light shining brightly for all the loyal supporters to see. 10/10

4th Game vs Ghost19's Human Empire Knightz - 'Me be fugged bos. Dem humies kepd me runnen and taklin al gaem.' Torch beamed after the match. ' neks gaem me gona skor sum tuchdownz or sumtink. Chisorc had put in the work in training and it really shows on the field. Little wonder he is a fan favourite and a real Harm'Em Globetrotter. 7/10

5th Game vs exefokker's Ips'witch Town Veterans XI - 'Me fink da firs wun waz jus noked out, but got a big laff from da cruwd. Nex wun jus brok an lay der screming an dat waz da funyest wun. Den me finks da nex wun waz noked out az wel. 'E didn maek no noiz, coz 'e waz noked out se, but the cruwd maed losa noiz, so dat waz owsum. Den me pas da bal, so ow da fug da blak orks got da awurds, me dunno?! Me dunno wat da bess part of da gaem woz, coz me fugged up dat wun elv. But den me skor wun tuchdown. An then me skor wun tuchdown. So dat iz wun elv brok, wun tuchdown and wun tuchdown. Wat me godda do ta get da ork ov da match?' 10/10

6th Game vs Beer's Human Dragon Friends - Me fink probeblee da bess part of da hoel gaem woz wen me fugged up dat hummie. Den me waz hittin humies al ova da pitsh. Wat me godda do ta get da ork ov da match?' 10/10

7th Game vs UnderWater's Birthday Surprise - 'Me fink da taem shodnt plae ratties agin. Eva.' 4/10

8th Game vs Felicsdude332's Paulitonians -' Dat waz wundaful bos! Evry tiem me stepp on a runt dey broek. It waz lik stompin on insex! We shud plae ogers moor!' 10/10

9th Game vs Buu88's Dark Ni -'Dat fel reel gud bos! Me fink me nokked owt free ov dem. An den 'urt one reel bad. An den broek wun reel gud.' 10/10

10th Game vs moathman's Amazon Boys 2 Men - 'Dat got me finkin abowt da effikel an morel ramefikasion ov avin gurls alluwd ta plae blud bowl gainst uz bois. Dunno if dey wuld kut it en da big leegs. Stiil.... dey smel gud an it duzznt 'urt wen ya bang inta dem.' 6/10

TOTAL RATING - 8.5

Skill ups :
1st: Kick (done)
2nd: Block (done)
3rd: Tackle
4th:
Doubles ; Guard
+ST

1st Game vs Wyzard's Halfling Comedent Illud - A sensation game from a truly unassuming professional. 'Ant' held the line against the opposition Trees and amazed the crowd with his hilarious antics, killing the fling hefty 'KFC' in the most amusing fashion. 9/10

2nd Game vs JuVkE's Lizards Malinas Dragonflyyies - Cape in hand, Ant kept the opposition Kroxigor tied up with flourishes, distractions, and sheer physicality. A hard role executed with aplomb from a valued member of the Globetrotters. 7/10

3rd Game vs Pierogi's Wood Elf Puttes'Chaumont - A surprisingly quiet game from one of the fan favourites, Ant put himself in the way of the opposition wardancer but never quite reached the levels of crowd participation he would expect from himself. Maybe it was something he ate? Still. We wouldnt be the Harm'Em Globetrotters without him. 2/10

4th Game vs Ghost19's Human Empire Knightz - Ant really pulled his socks up and took charge on the field this game. Instrumental in recovering the draw, Ant smashed Jaeden, the oppositions guard Blitzer, putting him in the hospital for the afternoon. He then swept up the ball and handed off to Cheese to score. Wonderfully entertaining play and a special day for everyones favourite Lineman! 8/10

5th Game vs exefokker's Ips'witch Town Veterans XI - 'Me waz feelen lik me waz'n doin much to be 'onest bos, but wen it cum to da crunch tiem, me saw dat da gobbos wer puttin da boot in, so me fink yeh me shud put da boot in to and den wen me giv da firs wun a stomp e brok reel bad an da cruwd waz luvin it, so me giv da nex wun a boot an e wen al limp an qwiet but da cruwd waz screemin. So yeh, gud gaem.' 8/10

6th Game vs Beer's Human Dragon Friends - 'Wad append bos?' The crowd favourite looked up from the floor of the dugout. ' Did... did dey braek me?' The coach smiled and walked over to the door, away from the blood and piss soaked hay. "Not too badly Ant.... not too badly." 2/10

7th Game vs UnderWater's Birthday Surprise - 'Izza prowd dae for us lynsmen dat me acept dis awurd for bess plaer. Sumwun bedda gemme sum new shus doe coz me neva gonna get da rat stink outta des wuns.' 4/10

8th Game vs Felicsdude332's Paulitonians - 'Afta las gaem wen me wun da awurd an got maed inta da kiker me waz lukin ford ta showen wat me cud do an me dont fink me dissapoinded.' 4/10

9th Game vs Buu88's Dark Ni -'Me dunno wad waz gunna 'appen todae owt dere. Dem elvses waz slipry an didn wanna ged inta da nitte gritte wid me. Bud me fink me pozitinel kikin waz gud.' 3/10

10th Game vs moathman's Amazon Boys 2 Men - 'Me kikked da bawl.... waddels daya wan from me?' 2/10

TOTAL RATING - 6 Games - 6

Skill ups :
1st: Block (done)
2nd: Tackle
3rd:
4th:
Doubles ; Guard (done)
+ST

1st Game vs Wyzard's Halfling Comedent Illud - This is one player who really does "Handle the Jandal!". Winning the MVP award for the Harm'Em Globetrotters is no joke, but Handles knows how to keep the crowd laughing with his outrageous antics. Running, bashing and scoring a touchdown will keep this up and coming legend firmly cemented in the hearts of fans everywhere. 10/10

2nd Game vs JuVkE's Lizards Malinas Dragonflyyies - Tussled all day with the big saurus', putting a couple of them down in hilarious fashion and generally making a nuisance of himself. Amused the crowd, amused his coach but most of all, amused himself. 3/10

3rd Game vs Pierogi's Wood Elf Puttes'Chaumont - It wasnt the Linesmens day today with Handles and his offsider Ant not living up to crowd expectations. The assistant coach suspects food poisoning, the head coach suspects the three bloodweiser babes and the two kegs of Bugmens he found abandoned in the changing rooms before the match. 2/10

4th Game vs Ghost19's Human Empire Knightz - Handles put in a big effort on the field today, tying up the opposition big boy and really getting stuck in to the physical stuff. Hilarious hits and ballsy blocks were dished out in style by everybodies favourite Lineman. 6/10

5th Game vs exefokker's Ips'witch Town Veterans XI - 'Me 'ed 'urts. Me fink me guna be sik.' 3/10

6th Game vs Beer's Human Dragon Friends - 'Me finks dat wen Ant got hurt den me ad to stan up an taek on a senyor roll in da fords so me reallee got stuk in an smashd a few humies an even had a run widda bal. So yeh, me reel appi wid me gaem out der todae." 5/10

7th Game vs UnderWater's Birthday Surprise - 'Fur a minut der bos me fort dey broek me, but me al gud now. Part from da stink. Dos ratties stinkd.' 1/10

8th Game vs Felicsdude332's Paulitonians -' Oww! Me 'ed 'urts agin. Las fing me member iz mashin dat runty, den wun of dem ogers 'it me 'ard. Fuggit!.' 6/10

9th Game vs Buu88's Dark Ni - 'Wat's wrong bos? Me hit a cupl ov dem.' 4/10

10th Game vs moathman's Amazon Boys 2 Men - 'Yeh bois! Got me sekon tuchdown an smashd summa dem gurls.. so dat waz nyis.' 7/10

TOTAL MATCH RATING - 6 Games - 4.8

Skill ups:
1st: Accurate
2nd: Block
3rd: Fend
4th; Safe Throw
Doubles: Strong Arm(done), Dodge, Guard
+ST(done) +AG +MA

Skill ups:
1st: Guard
2nd: Multiple Block (if +ST)
3rd: Stand Firm
4th; Strong Arm
Doubles: Block, Pro
+ST

Skill ups :
1st: Sneaky Git
2nd: Side Step
3rd:
4th:
Doubles ; Dirty Player
+AG +ST

1st Game vs Wyzard's Halfling Comedent Illud - Fats didnt get the chance to live up to his nickname as the horrible halflings sent him from the field before he got the chance to liven up the game with an amazing fireworks display. When the ref found out he had some exploding runes to let off he was not allowed to return to the field! Have they ever heard of showmanship? Do they think that the crowd doesn't enjoy explosions? Is this the death of entertainment? 10/10

2nd Game vs JuVkE's Lizards Malinas Dragonflyyies - TNT came on for the second half and did what he had to do, stomping with his boot and cartwheeling around, stunning both the crowd and the opposition kroxigor. Covered an amazing amount of ground to cover a last minute breakthrough and was instrumental in the touchdown that earned the draw. 10/10

3rd Game vs Pierogi's Wood Elf Puttes'Chaumont - If management had known what was going to happen before the game they would have advertised it as 'The Great Gobbo Gangfoul Game.' TNT came on as a substitute for Scooter in the second half and was as explosive as his nickname. BOOM! One boot, one seriously snapped ankle on their guard lino. BANG! Knocked out. STOMP! Knocked out! RUCK! Knocked out! It took four fouls and four removals for the ref to notice the little terror, and even then Fats managed to talk him out of a ban and stomped off to the dugout instead. Nuffle only knows what would have happened if he had been allowed to play out the half. 10/10

4th Game vs Ghost19's Human Empire Knightz - Coming on from the bench late in the first half, TNT had once again organised some exploding runes with the intention of putting on an amazing fireworks display. Somehow something went wrong and the runes went off in his pants, leaving his aflame and stunned on the deck. Then, to the crowds despair, the referee sent him from the field. Now, the coach doesn't want to say anything that would get him into trouble with the referees association but c'mon. Why not give the punters what they want?! 10/10

5th Game vs exefokker's Ips'witch Town Veterans XI - 'Wen I saw dat ref sen ol scoots of I fink das fuggin bul, but 'e mussa lyked me coz e neva saed nuffink, evin wen I waz stompin dat last panzy elf offa da pitch. Did yu bois se me nok out day elf dat try ta blok me? Nokked em out 'ard!' 10/10

6th Game vs Beer's Human Dragon Friends - ' Wen I fondout dat I hadda stard da gaem I fink yeh dis izza chanse to show em all dat i shud stard evry gaem but den dey kiked da bal an out of nowere it waz in my hans and I fink oh yeh now is mi tiem to shyen. But den dey hit me, but I hit dem bak and den dey hit me agen an evryfink wen blak. Dirty cheeten humies. ' 10/10

7th Game vs UnderWater's Birthday Surprise - 'Dat waz awful bos. I fink dat ting wid da klaw waz rippin da bois apart, an dey wer jus tryn to provid holesum famly entatanmint. So I fort, fug dis an jus grabbed it and hung on. So dat was prety gud. It stunk doe. Dirty filfy ratties.' 10/10

8th Game vs Felicsdude332's Paulitonians - ' Wen I saw dem ogers, I fort tank nufel dat da bos izznt pudden me on da feeld. But den wen da udda bois wen down an I hadda go out der, it wazzen so bad. Wen I saw Scoota ged smashed me fort rite! bedda ged stompin den. So I dida bita dansin for Scoots, but neva reli got inta da gaem." 10/10

9th Game vs Buu88's Dark Ni -'Wen ya pud me on en da sekon 'arf I fort, wel, Scoota didn ged mush dansin dun so I bedda ged stompin on dem. An I fink it waz preddee suksessful to be honess. Nokked out too wid da boot befor da ref sen me off." 10/10

10th Game vs moathman's Amazon Boys 2 Men -'S'not faer bos! I diddnt evin gedda chans to plae realle. I fink da squad iz geddin tu big.' 10/10

TOTAL MATCH RATING - 8 Games - 10

Skill ups :
1st: Sneaky Git (done)
2nd: Side Step
3rd:
4th:
Doubles; Dirty Player (done)
+ST +AG

1st Game vs Wyzard's Halfling Comedent Illud - What a goblin, what a player, what a bright, bright, shining star. Scooter scootered around the field, dancing his little heart out and tapping over flings left, right and center. Using his amazing HAPPY FEET he seriously injured 'in-N-out', who went IN to the reserve box but didn't come OUT. HILARIOUS! What a dancer! 10/10

2nd Game vs JuVkE's Lizards Malinas Dragonflyyies - A real entertainer. Danced around the field, tapping out Saurus' all around. But his huge play.. the one that got the crowd up and roaring... was his big hit that seriously injured Saurus Lanash! Scooter shows young and old that anybody can do anything they set their hearts to. 10/10

3rd Game vs Pierogi's Wood Elf Puttes'Chaumont - Sweet styles from Scooter Sutton! Whilst the Blitzers stuffed around trying to pick up the ball, Scooter was dancing around the field, interrupting the charge of the elvses and keeping the pressure off the loose ball. Looked for a while like he was never going to get away from marking players but when the going gets tough... The elvy wardancer leapt through the line and the filthy thrower passed the ball over the heads of the Globetrotters and towards what seemed a certain touchdown.... until a certain little Gobbo leapt up, climbing the back of Lil' Champ and soaring through the air to intercept the ball. Coach substituted him as the murderous stares of the jilted elvses gave away their intention to target our golden little Goblin. 10/10

4th Game vs Ghost19's Human Empire Knightz - Scooter danced his way onto the pitch, his amazing HAPPY FEET ready to dish out some hilarious fouls to amuse the audience. And then the ref sent him off after his first attempt. I mean, he barely touched him. It was an outrageous call and the coach suspects the referee had been paid off by the opposition. Disgusting and an affront to the game. Anyone know where the ref lives? 10/10

5th Game vs exefokkers Dark Elf Ips'witch Town Veterans XI - "Dat ref was fuggin dum bos!" Scooter hopped off the side of the cart where he had been kissing Dizzy goodbye. "I jus got dem dansing shus warmd up an den he gos an blows da wissle. I waz doin a tap ere and a tap dere and den sudden lik 'e waz all lik 'Yu! Yur off!' An I waz lik 'Oo? me?' An 'e waz lik 'yea yu!' An I waz lik 'fuggin c'mon ref I bearli tuched im!' An den 'e jus stood der lik 'e waz waetin for somming. So I waz lik 'wat yu waetin for?' An 'e sayz 'yu to leaf da pitsh.' I cuddnt fuggin beleev it bos!"
The coach had finished rubbing the circulation back into his arm. He reached down to ruffle the little fellows greasy, matted hair.
"You did good Scooter m'lad. You did good."
Scooter blinked back his tears of outrage as the rest of the team took the field.
"Yu don fink 'e waz wanning a bryb do ya bos!? I don fink me pore liddel gobbo hart culd taek it if der waz a ref dat was sulyin da fiyn naem of da blud bowl refere asoceatin!"
"Don't worry about it Scooter. You were 10/10 son."

6th Game vs Beer's Human Dragon Friends - 'Dat ref was fuggin dum bos!" Scooter raised his head from where he lay next to TNT and Ant. " I waz just gettin dem dansing shus reddy to stomp onna humie and I waz doin a bit ov a tap ere and a tap dere, and den I look ova at em jus to maek shur 'es not lookin and den bang, evrytink blak an I waek up ere.'
The coach, crinkling his nose against the thick smell of vomit and decay that pervaded the filthy dugout, patted the little fellow tenderly.
"You did wonderfully out there Scooter. It was a big job you were asked to do today and you filled that role with aplomb."
Scooter blinked back his tears of pain as the rest of the team lined up out on the pitch.
'Yu don fink 'e waz distraktin me on purpos do ya bos!? I don fink I culd taek it if der waz a ref who didn liv up to da impartil reputasion ov da blud bowl refere asoceatin!"
"Don't fret little Scooter. You were 10/10 son."

7th Game vs UnderWater's Birthday Surprise - 'Dat fing was fuggin scarie as fug bos!' Scooter dragged himself up from the filth encrusted straw nest that made up the Skaven's away dugout. 'I neva evin god a chans to get dem dansing shus goin'. I waz gonna do a tap ere and a tap dere but den TNT wen of and dat Klaw ratty was urtin the big bois so I jus had ta grab it an not leggo.'
The coach patted the little fellows arm tenderly as the apothecary applied a lotion to all the scratches and tears Scooter had sustained.
"You were superb out there Scooter, and I don't think its any exaggeration to say that you and TNT were responsible for saving one or two of the other lads lives today."
Scooter winced as the ungeunt stung his many wounds.
"Yu don fink dat fuggin ratty fing iz gonna plae agan do you bos? I don fink I culd cuntinu a profesonel kareer if da hellowd blud bowl guvvernin bodi alowd fings lik dat to plae da gaem."
"Its alright Scooter. Those claw beasts can't get you... technically. You're just too good. 10/10 good really."

8th Game vs Felicsdude332's Paulitonians -' Dat oger waz gunnin for me from da momen I stepd out onda pitch bos!' Scooter nursed his head, slumped up against the piss and vomit stained wall of the dugout. ' I neva evin god a chans to get dem dansing shus goin'. I waz gonna do a tap ere and a tap dere but den wen I lookd ova an saw TNT waz goin ta town on em, wel... I musta bean disstraktid cos next fing wunna dem ogers 'it me so 'ard dat I fort mi retenas detashd."
The coach stroked the little gobbos greasy hair and helped him up to his feet.
"It doesn't matter Scoots my boy. You did everything that was asked of you today and you were up against some real giants! I'm proud of you."
Scooter looked up adoringly at his coach, tears welling in his beady little eyes.
"Yu don fink day fuggin oger waz pikkin on me coz I'm so smal do you bos? I don fink my liddel hart cud 'andel it if der waz dat kind ov bullyin' in wad shud be a gaem plaed bi gentelmen an 'ero's."
"Don't worry your little head about it Scooter. I love you and you're like a son to me."
For some bizarre reason there was a certain air of awkwardness at the aftermatch function that evening. 10/10

9th Game vs Buu88's Dark Ni -' Wen dey did da switsh bos, I fort, uh oh, dem elvses iz gunna skor an Iv onlee dun me dansin on wun ov dem. Den evryting wen blaek. Dey braekd me bos.' 10/10

10th Game vs moathman's Amazon Boys 2 Men -' Felt reel gud to ged owt der an yus me dansin shus. Waz a bit wyrd how dem gurlz don feel it wen ya dans on der privits... bud it waz gud fun. Nokked owt a cupel to!' 10/10

TOTAL MATCH RATING - 8 Games - 10