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2007-11-04 01:05:08
26 votes, rating 3.4
26 votes, rating 3.4
Oblitzamanger's Journey - Chapter 4: Evening Explainations
The night before the game, Manger, Summers, Dark, Jorkins and his troupe, and the Blitz Blasters stayed at the Oblitzadome Inn, paid for entirely by Steven Scrum. After the pre-game dinner, Summers had instructed the team to get some rest and a couple of the bodyguards went upstairs after them to make sure they obeyed. Manger, Dark, Summers, and Jorkins remained while the rest of the bodyguards were stationed outside the dinning room.
“Here’s to a good game tomorrow!” toasted Manger.
“Cheers!” said the others. Summers took a large gulp, Dark drank nervously, Jorkins took a conservative swig, and Manger hardly touched his, if at all.
“I can’t help but get the feeling that there is something more to these guys than meets the eye,” Summers said seriously. “I can’t quite tell you what it is, but its there. You know what I’m talking about?” asked Summers.
Manger looked at Summers stoically. “I believe I do owe you an explanation,” he said. And thus he began.
“You know those villages of orcs that the Emperor allows to exist inside our borders? Well, Knucklebone and Kneecap lived in one of those, so they were very civilized in that they were taught how to speak our language and to socialize with humans at a very early age. However, they were still orcs and had a pension for mischief.
“Once when they were still young, they decided to experiment with fire. More particularly, Kneecap had convinced Knucklebone to stick a burning stick up his nose. Of course, Knucklebone dropped the stick and due to a recent drought, the fire caught and burned the whole village down.
“Well, the overseer of the village was so enraged that he kicked the brothers out and told them that they were never to return unless they could pay enough money equal to the amount they destroyed. The overseer of course knew this was impossible for a couple of orcs, but he didn’t care. So they were banished from the rebuilding village.
“They spent the next year of their youth roaming the countryside and living off the land. Eventually, they found themselves in Altdorf and got jobs at one of the local stadiums as part of the cleanup crew. However, once they learned how much money a Blood Bowl player makes, they instantly quit their jobs and sought out a willing coach.
“That’s where we come in. I wasn’t really looking for a career in Blood Bowl. I had always considered it, but disdained it as more of a doomed get rich quick profession.” Dark harrumphed, but Manger ignored him. “However, it was time for a change, and Kneecap is a good talker. So, they agreed to gather some talent and I agreed to take care of the rest by delegating to you.
“So there you have it. For Knucklebone and Kneecap, their home is at stake. I don’t know what motivates the others, but I hope they can pull it together tomorrow.”
“I have noticed that they have excellent team unity. Maybe they all want to get the brothers home,” said a thoughtful Summers.
“Well, for whatever reason, let’s hope they win,” said Dark. “We need money flowing in, not out, you know.”
“I know. I have faith in them,” said Manger.
“So, what happens if we win tomorrow? Do we get any points for a league or something?” asked Dark.
“No, one off games like these are designed to build up semi-pro teams so that they can eventually join the pro circuit,” responded Manger.
“If we achieve notoriety and prove the quality of our players, then maybe we’ll start playing games that count for something,” Summers added. “Although in Albion, there wasn’t any semi-pro league. Everyone was in the same division.”
“So what division are we in then?” asked Dark.
“Well, here’s the rundown,” said Manger. “The professional teams play in the Pro division, or [P]. They compete in the majors like the Chaos Cup and the Blood Bowl. They’re the ones who get all the attention of the fans and the press and are by far the best teams in the world. The next tier down is where the semi-pro teams play, Ranked, or [R]. That’s the division I signed the Blitz Blasters up for. The name comes from the team ratings or rankings that Spike! Magazine and the Grotty Little Newspaper give each team in Ranked based on how good they think the team is. The higher the rating, the better chance the team has of going pro. Of course many teams either never make it into Pro division or choose not to. In that case, there are Majors for the Ranked division too. Although they are less well known, you may have heard of them, like the Warpstone Open or FUMBBL Cup.
“Comparable to Ranked is the Faction division, or
“Here’s to a good game tomorrow!” toasted Manger.
“Cheers!” said the others. Summers took a large gulp, Dark drank nervously, Jorkins took a conservative swig, and Manger hardly touched his, if at all.
“I can’t help but get the feeling that there is something more to these guys than meets the eye,” Summers said seriously. “I can’t quite tell you what it is, but its there. You know what I’m talking about?” asked Summers.
Manger looked at Summers stoically. “I believe I do owe you an explanation,” he said. And thus he began.
“You know those villages of orcs that the Emperor allows to exist inside our borders? Well, Knucklebone and Kneecap lived in one of those, so they were very civilized in that they were taught how to speak our language and to socialize with humans at a very early age. However, they were still orcs and had a pension for mischief.
“Once when they were still young, they decided to experiment with fire. More particularly, Kneecap had convinced Knucklebone to stick a burning stick up his nose. Of course, Knucklebone dropped the stick and due to a recent drought, the fire caught and burned the whole village down.
“Well, the overseer of the village was so enraged that he kicked the brothers out and told them that they were never to return unless they could pay enough money equal to the amount they destroyed. The overseer of course knew this was impossible for a couple of orcs, but he didn’t care. So they were banished from the rebuilding village.
“They spent the next year of their youth roaming the countryside and living off the land. Eventually, they found themselves in Altdorf and got jobs at one of the local stadiums as part of the cleanup crew. However, once they learned how much money a Blood Bowl player makes, they instantly quit their jobs and sought out a willing coach.
“That’s where we come in. I wasn’t really looking for a career in Blood Bowl. I had always considered it, but disdained it as more of a doomed get rich quick profession.” Dark harrumphed, but Manger ignored him. “However, it was time for a change, and Kneecap is a good talker. So, they agreed to gather some talent and I agreed to take care of the rest by delegating to you.
“So there you have it. For Knucklebone and Kneecap, their home is at stake. I don’t know what motivates the others, but I hope they can pull it together tomorrow.”
“I have noticed that they have excellent team unity. Maybe they all want to get the brothers home,” said a thoughtful Summers.
“Well, for whatever reason, let’s hope they win,” said Dark. “We need money flowing in, not out, you know.”
“I know. I have faith in them,” said Manger.
“So, what happens if we win tomorrow? Do we get any points for a league or something?” asked Dark.
“No, one off games like these are designed to build up semi-pro teams so that they can eventually join the pro circuit,” responded Manger.
“If we achieve notoriety and prove the quality of our players, then maybe we’ll start playing games that count for something,” Summers added. “Although in Albion, there wasn’t any semi-pro league. Everyone was in the same division.”
“So what division are we in then?” asked Dark.
“Well, here’s the rundown,” said Manger. “The professional teams play in the Pro division, or [P]. They compete in the majors like the Chaos Cup and the Blood Bowl. They’re the ones who get all the attention of the fans and the press and are by far the best teams in the world. The next tier down is where the semi-pro teams play, Ranked, or [R]. That’s the division I signed the Blitz Blasters up for. The name comes from the team ratings or rankings that Spike! Magazine and the Grotty Little Newspaper give each team in Ranked based on how good they think the team is. The higher the rating, the better chance the team has of going pro. Of course many teams either never make it into Pro division or choose not to. In that case, there are Majors for the Ranked division too. Although they are less well known, you may have heard of them, like the Warpstone Open or FUMBBL Cup.
“Comparable to Ranked is the Faction division, or
. Although these teams can never go pro, they are still semi-pro and are solely dedicated to the semi-pro championship, the Faction title. In this league, there are even more tiers of divisions and here, wins and losses count towards the championship.
“Then you have the League division, the Unranked division, and the Academy division, [L], (U), and [A] respectively. League and Unranked are for mostly local teams that decide to put together a team for the fun of it, or old semi-pro or pro teams that lose their financial backings and have to play at smaller venues. You also get a wider variety of teams in these divisions mostly made up of weaker players which think they can hold their own with the bigger, more established powerhouse races. Academy is for newer coaches or for players who don’t know how to play and want to learn by playing the game. These divisions, although they can be competitive, are mostly laid back. However, there are lots of different groups and league tournaments that come up in these divisions which can be exciting and tense, but it would take way too much time to name them all, as there are countless leagues.
“Finally, there is the Stunty division, or (S). Although there are many small and stunty teams in the other divisions, many of them were discontent with getting beat up week after week by the bigger teams. So, after the Great Stunty Strike of 2505, a separate divison was created for the little guys and only small races can compete there. However, Stunty games are marked by crazy stunts, violence, and general madness, primarily because of the many big monsters those teams tend to hire, and due to the mass amounts of rule breaking.
“So there you have it, all the divisions. [P], [R], [F], [L], (U), [A], and (S).”
“So, since the team is new, and since you are a new coach, why didn’t you put the team in the Academy division?” asked Dark.
“What would be the fun in that?” said Summers in a drunken stupor. “There’s little glory to be held in Academy. If we get really good, we could go pro from ranked!”
Dark sighed. “I was just saying that it would probably be a safer investment if we started in a safer division.”
“Well, it’s too late now. The team is already signed up for Ranked, and we would have to cancel the game tomorrow if we wanted to change, never mind the fees and waiting period,” said Manger. Dark pondered this for a moment while Summers continued drinking. “I need you sober for tomorrow’s game Greg,” said Manger.
“Nonsense! What would Blood Bowl be if everyone was sober all the time? This is always how we did it in Albion. By Nuffle, the players themselves used to drink before the game too! It helped numb the pain,” said Summers.
“That’s probably why the Hallytown Half-backs were never very good at ballhandling,” remarked Manger, but Summers ignored the comment.
“So what is our team rating then?” asked Dark.
“All fresh teams get a team rating of one hundred,” said Manger. “But to get good, you have to have a team rating of over two hundred, and to be considered ready for the Pro division, you need a team rating of over three hundred.”
“So basically, we have a hell of a job ahead of us!” cried Summers.
Shortly afterwards, they all went to bed, excited for the big game the next day.
“Then you have the League division, the Unranked division, and the Academy division, [L], (U), and [A] respectively. League and Unranked are for mostly local teams that decide to put together a team for the fun of it, or old semi-pro or pro teams that lose their financial backings and have to play at smaller venues. You also get a wider variety of teams in these divisions mostly made up of weaker players which think they can hold their own with the bigger, more established powerhouse races. Academy is for newer coaches or for players who don’t know how to play and want to learn by playing the game. These divisions, although they can be competitive, are mostly laid back. However, there are lots of different groups and league tournaments that come up in these divisions which can be exciting and tense, but it would take way too much time to name them all, as there are countless leagues.
“Finally, there is the Stunty division, or (S). Although there are many small and stunty teams in the other divisions, many of them were discontent with getting beat up week after week by the bigger teams. So, after the Great Stunty Strike of 2505, a separate divison was created for the little guys and only small races can compete there. However, Stunty games are marked by crazy stunts, violence, and general madness, primarily because of the many big monsters those teams tend to hire, and due to the mass amounts of rule breaking.
“So there you have it, all the divisions. [P], [R], [F], [L], (U), [A], and (S).”
“So, since the team is new, and since you are a new coach, why didn’t you put the team in the Academy division?” asked Dark.
“What would be the fun in that?” said Summers in a drunken stupor. “There’s little glory to be held in Academy. If we get really good, we could go pro from ranked!”
Dark sighed. “I was just saying that it would probably be a safer investment if we started in a safer division.”
“Well, it’s too late now. The team is already signed up for Ranked, and we would have to cancel the game tomorrow if we wanted to change, never mind the fees and waiting period,” said Manger. Dark pondered this for a moment while Summers continued drinking. “I need you sober for tomorrow’s game Greg,” said Manger.
“Nonsense! What would Blood Bowl be if everyone was sober all the time? This is always how we did it in Albion. By Nuffle, the players themselves used to drink before the game too! It helped numb the pain,” said Summers.
“That’s probably why the Hallytown Half-backs were never very good at ballhandling,” remarked Manger, but Summers ignored the comment.
“So what is our team rating then?” asked Dark.
“All fresh teams get a team rating of one hundred,” said Manger. “But to get good, you have to have a team rating of over two hundred, and to be considered ready for the Pro division, you need a team rating of over three hundred.”
“So basically, we have a hell of a job ahead of us!” cried Summers.
Shortly afterwards, they all went to bed, excited for the big game the next day.
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