I've played a lot of Blood Bowl over the last 20 years, and I can tell you a lot about dwarves. Nobody likes dwarves, and nobody wants to talk about dwarves. But I've been looking around here lately and come to a shocking realization: FUMBBL's dwarves are TOO TALL. Just the other day, I saw a dwarf in a ranked game, and he must have been 4'10", maybe even 4'11". What does it do to competitive balance when, given a sufficiently low hoop, a dwarf can dunk a basketball? This is not the Blood Bowl I grew up with.

And I'm sure some people will say these so-called "tall dwarves" have higher centers of gravity and can be easily blocked. But I met a guy once who told me that dwarves are now tall enough to reach the keyboard and rig the random number generator against him. Egads, people!

I beseech you, by all that is good and holy, this tall dwarf plague needs to end -- or it will drag FUMBBL, Blood Bowl, and possibly even the nation of Portugal down with it. If they're taller than 4'6", they need to be chopped down, preferably top first. We need to stop these dwarves NOW, and if we don't, don't be surprised to wake up 20 years from now and find that WE'RE the dwarves.