“ Well, what an amazing match! The elves started off with uncharacteristic clumsiness, while the humans showed just how fast they can move. A fumbled pick-up and three failed catches later, and the elves quit literally gave the ball to the humans, who raced away for what was technically a one turn touchdown!

The second period looked like it would go the same way. Three fair-skinned elves (including both war-dancers) were out with sun-stroke, giving the men the advantage. A poor block giving the humans a chance within striking distance. This time the shoe was on the other foot, though, and it appeared a poor fit - the manish catcher came crashing down.

The rest of the half was spent scrabbling for the ball. In the dying seconds of the half it looked like a sure thing for both teams, but a colossal lack of coordination thwarted any conversion.

The second half saw the elves 1-0 down and with a lot of work to do. A mistake by the men was punished when they left no one at home. The swift-footed Eladin outdistancing to score.

A second soon followed when the bigger men fell in a bold tackle. Their quick and strong offence foiled by leaving the ball behind! Soon the elves were in front. The elvish defence, without "Lucky" Gobsmacker and a war-dancer (heat-stroke), was plucky but doomed. The game was drawn.

Despite the heavy casualties inflicted on the humans, their deeper reserves and the elven propensity for sun-stroke kept numbers even. But with both teams sparse across the field, nothing could stop a rare (for this game) coordinated attack that swept from one side to the other and gave the elves the winning touch down in the dieing moments of the game.

Highlights saw the end of Roger Dorn (the aged human thrower-come-blocker) and an elvish appeal at the end of the game. The offence suggested was that the humans used 50+ sunscreen that made the ball slippery. Fair-skinned pansies. The Major League fans boycotted the game; presumably because Pedro Cerrano wasn't playing. They didn't accept that the big lug could be that badly injured.”