“OBBA Cup, Season 6 - Round 4 (semifinal)

Handicap in favour of Nicodemus1 - Illegal Drugs (used on Mathias ”Zanka” Jørgensen to make a 6548 blodging, sidestepping elf).

12 chaos vs 11 elves faced up to each other in this hard hitting semifinal that for a change was devoid of any stars. The Khornets had already come through unscathed vs Shades_SteelFist's West Ham Unitedead, and Nicodemus1's side had embarrassed Purplegoo's highly successful Oval Balls FTW in the previous round... so I knew my opponent were no mugs.

With the Khornets receving coach Wotfudboy muttered a small prayer of luck. Unfortunately he should have muttered louder!

The ball landed way back in the chaos endzone slap bang in the middle... Any failure of picking up could let the elves in... so alert were the Khornets to this danger they all moved a quick step in anticipation. A few blocks and a blitz left Peter Larsson KO'd and a couple of prone elves. 11 vs 10. Suddenly and unexpectedly the elven mage called forth his magic stunning Roger Joslyn, KOing Taffy Davies II and proning Andy Rankin. 9 vs 10. Chaos Warriors Tom Walley and John Barnes were then proned, and Morten Nordstrand prepared to gang foul John Barnes with 3 assists, resulting in a Smashed Collar Bone - (-1 ST) which the apoth quickly fixed up. This was getting messy already.

All the chaos side could do was get up and dust themselves down as the elves prepared to batter them again, with Mathias ”Zanka” Jørgensen str5 leading the unelflike attack. Yet again the elves prepared for a foul but the poor footwork of Johan Wiland meant the DP Morten Nordstrand missed his chance this time. It seemed the elves had given up on the ball already and were just prepared to beat up (!!) the Khornets. Coach Wotfudboy gulped. Roger Joslyn wasn't going to let Morten Nordstrand have another go at a foul, stunning him with a blitz whilst Ross Jenkins settled into a defensive scrum with the ball.

The elves continued... Elven catcher Cesar Santin KO'd Duncan Welbourne, whilst strip baller blitzer Hjalte Bo Noerregaard somersaulted over the defensive line to blitz the ball carrier who to his credit remained standing. The elves continued to wage war against the chaos warriors and team captain Graham Taylor the ogre. However Khornet DP Andy Rankin opened his fouling account with a crude boot stuck into Michael Gravgaard (+Ag, Block, Guard lineman) resulting in the 2nd smashed collarbone (-st) of the day. Coach Nicodemus suprisingly held the apoth back though. 9 vs 9.

By this time Khornets ball carrier Ross Jenkins was free and clear in the elven half, whilst the elves continued their scrap - seemingly the ball had truely been given up on. John Barnes, surrounded by pointy eared freaks KO'd lineman Ulrik Laursen (9 vs 8) but he was now more assisted than he had been throughout the match by his Khornet team mates. However, the elves had other ideas... Unskilled elven lino Mikael Antonsson did a 1db block, and skulled... a quick Team Roll resulted in a splat... and a huge shock to coach Wotfudboy when (6, 6) + 0, (5, 5) + 0, 6: John Barnes has been KILLED!! was rolled. (8 vs 8)

The chaos crowd, previously enjoying the impending TD were in stunned silence... and coach Wotfudboy started to weep. Coach Nicodemus was turning somersaults and almost filled the front of his pants!

We would try and make the elves pay for this!

The tricky elves then made a dash for the ball carrier... The Khornets had time to SI niggle elven lino Ras mus Wurtz with a blitz but on turn 7/6 Ross Jenkins ran in for a TD. 1-0.

The Khornets could only muster 9 players, with 2 remaining KO'd... the elves matched them with 9 as well... and the Khornets Blitz! move prevented any chance of an elven counter attack. However, only knocking over and stunning blitzer Hjalte Bo Noerregaard wasn't satisfying... and the elves countered with a foul from their DP which SI'd mng the just prone Roger Joslyn. The chaos side then fouled the prone thrower, BHing him... and that was the last interesting play of the 1st half.

The 2nd half started with 10 Chaos lining up against 7 elves. It was going to be tough for the elves to equalise here, and coach Wotfudboy was in no mood to let them back in to the game. The elves failed to break through the chaos line, and started to move backwards... although catcher Cesar Satin fell over trying to do so. Now the chaos side would bring their full force to bear. They surrounded the ball, but Chaos Warrior Wilf Rostron failed to pick it up, and it spilled to the ogre Graham Taylor who's huge bucket hands succeeded in securing it. However, the elven blitzer Hjalte Bo Noerregaard made a brave -2db blitz which resulted in the ogre being splatted backwards... but the ball spilt to another Khornets player Tom Walley... it seems the chaos gods had finally got around to answering that prayer for luck!

With the ball closely guarded by a scrum of chaos players, the rest of the Khornets set about punching the elves, with Luther Blissett BHing the elven catcher Cesar Santin. Andy Rankin got a prize foul in and removed that annoying blitzer Hjalte Bo Noerregaard. 10 vs 5. But despite the numbers against them, the freakishly strong Mathias ”Zanka” Jørgensen still managed to blitz the ball carrier... but the ball spilled, and amazingly was scooped up by the ogre once again! Not long after, another elf KO'd after a both down result. 10 vs 4. The chaos side guaranteed the ball was secure, and another elf KO'd. 10 vs 3. At this point there were 3 elves on the pitch with 4 in the KO box... it was safe for the ogre to score, and in turn skill up. 2-0.

With 6 elves lining up against 10 it was just a matter of survival now. A thrown rock from the crowd stunned Mathias ”Zanka” Jørgensen and all resistance was over with a turn or two to go. The ogre Graham Taylor BH'd Ulrik Laursen... and Tom Walley, with his path cleared, got to, and picked up the loose ball and ran all the way for a TD. 3-0 and game over.

It was a convincing win in the end, but the elves certainly made sure the Khornets suffered pain. John Barnes will be sorely missed... my first ever CW to get Claw/RSC. Looking to the final now we have just 10 players available. Annoyingly the ogre Graham Taylor aged and niggled on his first skill, but the cash winnings of 70k made the pot 190k. Enough money to buy a new CW at least! With the TR only being reduced from 208 to 198, and thoughts turning to next season where I have to strip down to TR 190 I feel the Ogre will face retirement very soon, meaning I will have to find a new captain. However, the team killing teams of Russo and Skull have to fight it out in the other semi final first. I just hope they murder each other because if I faced either team with their current numbers/skills I was an odds on loser in the final.

Thanks for the game Nico... I will get my revenge on your team if we ever meet again! :)”