“<From memory, I may embellish a bit here.>

Welcome football fans, Ron Broadcaster here, to report on the aftermath of the red and black storm that rumbled through Montreal and left a wake of destruction. After a few delays, the game went ahead to crowd of 20,00 strong.

The Als won the toss, but elected to kick, looking to come out of the first half tied and seal the deal in the second. The coach knew it was the wrong decision instantly. Before kick had stopped bouncing on the pristine elven grass, Ottawa everyman Less Drowned had laid into a lineman so hard he forgot his name. Yours truly laid out a second lineman, and the third found himself surrounded on the ground as his two badly hurt line mates were stretchered off. Meanwhile Gory Organ had taken up an unusual sideline position and blitzed Als star Mike Pringle to the ground.

On their first position, the Als tried to recover quickly and take advantage of Russ Hackson's inability to pick up the gleaming new ball. Unfortunately the Als player came up short, and the Rough Risers went responded in full attack mode again. After laying down a few more players, Abe Alofmygutz put everything into a vicious foul on Pringle. The sound of ribs crushing inwards drew a gasp from the faithful who had made it out, then silence. Pringle didn't move, and the apothecary was upon him, having already started out of the dugout when he saw the Zombie heading toward the franchise star. It looked bad, Pringle's ribs turned in on his lungs and probably heart. The Rottawa team doctor, err necromancer, was making his way from his sideline perch to see if he could offer any assistance. No one knows what favours were called in, or Elven magic used, but suddenly there was movement and Pringle gasped back to life. Unfortunately in the efforts to resuscitate him the badly mangled arm that Abe had stepped on in the process. Thankfully for the team it looks like he will be good to go in two weeks. The Als players yelled and screamed for the zombie's ejection, but the ref simply said, play on! The Elves were swift to retaliate, putting the boot into rookie Wolf Boney Golab, but it was ineffective, and the ref was quick to call the retaliation penalty. The Als and the crowd were incensed. With four players out for good, and another knocked out by turn three, it looked dire for the Als.

(to be continued)”