“Week 3 saw the Mo’real Als hosting former division rivals Rottawa Rough Risers in a rematch of the season one Eastern semi-finals. Rottawa came into the game showing they meant business by abducting a Mo’real cheerleader to serve them pickled intestine and formaldehyde on the team bench. Still nauseous over the sight of it all, Mo’real captain Mike Pringle barely noticed he won the flip and mumbled something that the referee decided was an acknowledgement that Mo’real would receive.

The Als managed to quickly take down the Ottawa line, stunning the golem center Clampwell. They set up a wide screen along the sidelines and moved into captain Pringle’s greedy hands. Ottawa reacted by targeting the front of the screen and promptly knocking out rising star receiver Jamel Richardson. Fearing more suffering, Pringle high-tailed it to the end zone for a quick Montreal touch down.

On the ensuing kick, with Ottawa massing on the LoS to lay a beating on the elves, the kick went deep and into the upper decks for a touch back. Gory Organ’s Elf-Balling™ heart kicked into high-gear and he demanded the ball. Despite this not being the wisest choice, no one wanted to argue with the seven foot plus hulking mass on assorted flesh. Ottawa set out to target and punish the Elf-Blodgery™, building a tight cage around Organ. In the ensuing turns, Ottawa was able to badly hurt Rashaud Slaughter and Bear Woods, then Boney Golab moved in and apparently killed Diamond Ferri. The Apothecary rushed out and was able to resuscitate the downed Elf, but his fractured skull left him out for the remainder of the game. Meanwhile Ottawa had downed Mike Pringle and was eager to lay the boot to him as he rightfully deserved. Unfortunately the homer referee was having none of it, stopping both Ottawa “special teams” players before they could seriously injure the captain and ejecting them. In the ensuing skirmish over the first ejection Bo Bowling broke free and took on Organ, who had been meandering aimlessly about the LoS for a few turns. The ball bounced into a position that Bowling and the Als could not recover, allowing Moe Latrine to recover it and hand it over to rising star Tom Clawments, who darted downfield and made the game tying score.

Ottawa received in the second half and marched the ball slowly downfield, trying to incapacitate more Montreal players. Gory Organ, upset he had not gotten to score career TD number three, took it out on week one POW “Prince Hal” by blocking him firmly in the mid-section, resulting in a serious groin strain. It was only the second casualty for Organ in 140 blocks, testament to how upset the “gentle giant” was. In the end, the Als made a strong play to seize the ball after Ottawa may have stalled to long on the goal line. They were able to free the ball late, but it was not enough to keep Boney Golab from recovering the ball to score the winning touchdown.

As always, playing JumboParagon and his Als was exciting and fun. Like all previous games, it could have gone either way. Ottawa is committing to work on making less mistakes in future games, and spend some more one on one time with the officiating staff before games to explain the “rules” to them.

Ottawa nominee for POW – Boney Golab – 1TD, 1 CAS, 10 rush. Was there when we needed him to score and help open up the hole for the second score.”