“Farmer Ed has a theory that goats make, or at least CAN make, better Blood Bowl players than humans. His reasoning is that, because they understand their roles in the game, but don’t quite grasp the broader significance of what they do, they can make decisions without overthinking their consequences or overreaching. Or as he puts it in his own typically mangled syntax, “Goats, they is smart ‘nuff to be smart, but they is not smart ‘nuff to be dumb.”

The opening drive of the team’s fifth game in organized play illustrated that principle perfectly. Gripped by a frenzy for blood and glory, the opposing team’s star blocker drove his way out of position and knocked himself over. Veteran Goats players One-Horned Carl and Hickory, who had been biding their time in the backfield, raced through the hole to blitz the opposing carrier. Hickory scored the quick TD, her first of two in the game, and set the tone for a third straight Goats victory.

The Goats remained on point throughout the game, while the opposing team’s hitters regularly overextended themselves, creating turnovers and favorable field position for Farmer Ed’s team. The Goats capitalized easily, with both Hickory and Cap’n Billy scoring two TDs apiece. Aside from a cynical late-game challenge on One-Horned Carl, which injured his leg but thankfully spared the remaining horn, this was a mostly bloodless affair.

Ed has ordered an extra ration of oats for the whole team and started preparation for a new level of challenge. With Longhorn Sue back and everything seemingly going well, it’s time to step up to a higher level of opposition.
”