“Match Highlights:

The teams take the field to a rousing challenge from the Orc coach ‘Cummon you apes, you wanna live forever?’ The U-dogs receive forming a pocket and skirmish line in front of Veteran ball chucker Fr’bloo. Three receivers make it through the orc lines as the orcs smash into the skaven cage but the defence holds and with some risky blocking the U-dogs open an exit for Fr’bloo to dash through to hand off to See-em only for the rat to suffer a fit of racial hatred and once more refuse to give up the ball.

The fans are yelling at Fr’bloo, the goblins are throwing bottles, rocks and each other onto the pitch in disgust and chanting ‘Stamp it out… stamp it out…’ * Fr’bloo is blitzed into the ground by ‘The Grape Ape’ to cheers from both sets of fans and Fr’bloo’s own coach. Orc blitzer ‘Primator’ recovers the ball and is able to run the length of the field and score in the final turn of the half.

Second half and Shest-nadsets is thrown over the top of the line of scrimmage to assist Odd-een as he dodges through the orc defence and blitzes the ball carrier, taking him down and claiming the ball in the process. However Odd-een receives a firm punch to the face from a Grape Ape Black Orc and drops the ball as he scrabbles to reclaim all the precious teeth he just lost. Orc thrower Rafiki reclains the ball and releases his team’s eponymous blitzer to run in a second touchdown.

Dexter, the Grape Ape kicker, is killed by a Troll to the face at the start of the next drive but that is the limit of U-dog success as they are unable to find a way thought the orc defence, manage to lose the ball, concede a third TD and have a gobbo killed in the process: final score 3-0 to The Grape Apes.

Another resounding defeat but I don’t think I could have lost to a more personable opponent who even mounted the severed head of his dead player and sent it to me as a memento of the game.

* The ‘Stamp It Out’ campaign is a popular organisation that opposes racism is Blood Bowl with the stated aim of repeatedly and publicly stamping on the faces of anyone suspected of harbouring a dislike of other races in the game. As this includes every Blood Bowl player and fan (except for some members of the Bright Crusaders who are just too nice for that sort of thing) the organisation is calling for random public face stomping at half time in each and every match with both victims and those supplying the stomps to be chosen from all present at the game by lottery. This suggestion has met with almost universal approval by fans as the most entertaining half time event since whak-a-kitten was banned due to world wide kitten shortages.
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