“Hello Blood Bowl fans, and welcome to another Psyko-somatic match report, this time covering the matchup between Throweck's walking dead and Psyko's Oscar-hungry smelly farts!

The gap in TV between these rumblers was just big enough for Psyko to aid his Rotters with some Bloodweiser Babes and of course, an alltime favorite, Max Spleenripper. After the coinflip ending in Psyko's favor both teams set up, followed by a magnificent far kick from the Bone Gods. Some bloodthirsty fans decided to jump the gun on the carnage and our all-beloved ref got got, thus granting the Rotters a much welcomed bribe to hopefully keep our friend Max just a tad bit longer on the pitch. Will he be able to take advantage of it? Let's find out!

After a very mediocre start from the Rotters the Bone Gods gave it their own mediocre effort and turned over their turn with the very first block they made. This encouraged Psyko to get his head back in the game and he made his jolly odorous bunch advance further up the pitch, knocking out a TG and unfortunately only stunning another one with a brilliantly sneaky foul from our favorite chainsaw-wielding maniac, the Spleenripper.

Throweck didn't see it that way however, and blitzed a gap in Psyko's apparently very weak defense allowing a Skellie and a Blitz-Ra to swarm the ball carrier. This is were Psyko's inexperience reared its ugly head: he panicked, the Beast got confused, Max's chainsaw kicked back and a Warrior in a crucial defensive position arrogantly decided to take on the mighty Seth, a skellie with Block. Big mistake: he crashed and burned, resulting in a stunned warrior and a turnover for the Rotters. Was it all lost? No, because very quietly Psyko moved one of his Rotters within TD distance...

Throweck couldn't care less about the rotter and like a bull heading straight for the matador immediately sent the mighty TG Thoth to blitz the brave ballcarrier Howard Hughes. The entire crowd held their breath as this gigantic monstrosity stormed at poor Howard, but alas! Even with the use of a team reroll all he could manage was a push, and Howard got to hold to the ball just a bit longer. Max however wasn't quite so lucky; he got swarmed with Khemri and got knocked out with ease.

Our inexperienced but beloved coach Psyko saw his forces thinned out and spreaded too far apart to be effective, so he decided it was time for plan B: the good ol' short pass. Without rerolls but with much cojones he made Howard dodge out of the way, gfi to get in short pass range and threw a perfectly accurate pass to the brave and all but forgotten rotter Jay Gatsby, who had no effort at all catching the perfectly thrown football and marching in into the endzone with ease as the crowd went wild. TOUCHDOWN ROTTERS!

Even though he was knocked out, the Rotters still decided to bribe the ref to keep Max Spleenripper in the box just a tad bit longer, hoping he would recuperate by the second half. A high kick from the stinkers gave the Thro-Ra Ma'at more than enough time to get in range, but unfortunately failed to catch the kickoff and dropped it right on the ever-dangerous edge of the pitch. As Psyko was holding his breath Nuffle granted him his wish: Ma'at failed to pick up the ball and fumbled it straight into the grubby paws of the crowd, who threw it right back on Throwie's half of the pitch. Turnover Bone Gods.

From here on out it was just a continous hustle for the ball, ending the half with another breathtaking moment as Howard freed himself from the crowd to blitz free a rotter who was in TD range, allowing Jordan Belfort to make an attempt at a pass for the TD, but the pressure was just too much and he missed his throw, ending the first half. 1-0 Rotters.

The Bone Gods got to receive the second half, but didn't manage to slap their preferred ball carrier Ma'at out of it so they had to incept a plan B to compensate. Max however did wake up, taking the place of a knocked out rotter and completing the Rotter roster. The second half started out as you would expect it to: Throwie's experience showed as he smoothly caged his way across the pitch, taking advantage of Psyko's rookie mistakes while he took Khepri all but two squares away from a much needed touchdown to tie the score. But you know how it goes; desperate times call for desperate measures. Infuriated by his coach's rookie mistakes, the brave Warrior Amsterdam Vallon decided to take the reigns into his own hands, dodged away from his skellie defender and blitzed ball carrier Khepri, even though he was covered by his fellow blitz-ra Khnum. With all his might he managed to push Khepri on the sidelines, hoping his effort would keep the mighty Blitz-Ra from reaching the endzone. This proved to be mighty fruitful, because after many many ones and skulls causing successful foul appearances and failed dodges, the Rotters managed to succeed in keeping the score one-nil as the final whistle blew.

Who had expected such a turn of events?! I sure know I didn't. A huge victory for the Rotters, as they continue their rampage in search of the highly coveted golden statue. Will they ever succeed in securing one? Stay tuned and find out!




”