“Report by the FAMILY:

After having properly warned the opposing coach, the FAMILY accepted a match-up with a rookie Dark Elves team. There is a staggering 410k difference in TV and the elves induce babes, an apo and a star assassin.

The family kicks. The elves have a sub-optimal line up with only 2 blitzers and 2 runners. The star assassin is not on the LoS. The elves pick up and form a cage. the FAMILY waits. A runner, a blitzer and the star assassin run behind the FAMILY lines and the ball is succesfully passed to the runner, who is however quite unprotected. It's a relatively easy task for tthe FAMILY to get a 2D block on the runner and, thanks to PRINCESS mighty blow, the runner is sent KO. The FAMILY is even luckier: the dump-off fumbles and PRINCESS catches the bounce and finds a spot to hide with the ball, or at least reasonably so. The elves get their blocks and KO SMELLY GRAMMA. The FAMILY sees to reasons to hurry and instead consolidate the cage in the backfield, while at the same time gang-fouling on the star assassin, which is unfortunately only stunned. But MOM kills a runner, MITRALLETTE, who joins the FAMILY as a zombie! The elves try to punch DAD with a -2D block which results in a push. DAD is annoyied and kills the blocking elf in the next turn, but the apo manages to save his life. Only BH. Two elves try to put some pressure on the ball but are quickly removed, one permanently! Killed! The FAMILY should get the ball moving but it is too tempting to foul the assassin again. Only stunned, and SKINNY DUDE is sent to the reserve (arguing the call works). The elves try to gang foul MOM a couple of times without luck, and they put two players on the ball. It's time to stop goofing around and try to score instead. PRINCESS blitzes free from the players and kills an elf in the process - no zombie this time - and the cage starts moving. The elfs start their turn with 1D block on a zombie. Skull, RR, Both down. The FAMILY moves forward and KO a blitzer. It's 9 vs. 6 in this bloody, bloody game. Another elf goes BH. 9 vs. 5. The star assassin 1D blitzes the ball. Skull. The FAMILY gets cocky and hands-off the ball to PRINCE who could use the SPP more than PRINCESS. It works. 1-0.

It's 11 vs. 9 and the family receives. It's going to be uphill for the elves. A KO on the LoS and it's 11 vs. 8. THE ONE catches the hand-off - he needs SPP, let's make him score. The elves KO OLD SCHOOL UNCLE and put two players on the ball. Block, blitz and they both get stunned. The cage moves. The elves put all their players in contact and 1D blitz MOM. Pushback. The assassin leaps in the middle of the cage. He's going to get punched hard next turn. The FAMILY decides it's time to practice chainpushes. The ball moves 4 squares forward in the process and this allows a quick touchdown by turn 3.

Kickoff again and it's 11 vs. 7. The FAMILY tries an asymettric setup to benefit from SMELLY GRAMPA's kick skill. The elves don't jump on the bait and no players are in contact. Deep kick. High kick. The assassin fails the catch. The elves form a cage and leave the pickup last. The assassin got grease on his hands and fails the pickup too. The FAMILY does not have the speed to get to the ball, Not even to blitz a single elf! So it's just moving forward this turn. The ball is picked up and handed to the runner. The elves are clearly tired by this unfair match-up. Turnover on a failed GFI. GRUMPY GRAMPA KO's an elf - they should really get their armor's checked! 11 vs. 6. The FAMILY gets too cocky and PRINCESS 1D blitzes a a lino. Skull, RR, Skull. The ball advances but it's left blitzable. TOOTHLESS GRAMMA gets the help needed to 3D block a blizer. Pushback. Now DAD is free to 2D blitz the ball, thanks to PRINCESS cancelling an assist. The dump-off and catch are good even if both are in DAD's tackle zone. The assassin gets the ball again. The runner is BH. 11 vs. 5. The elves try a long bomb - a play of desperation - which inevitably fails. The FAMILY could surf three players. But it's turn 7 and as much as surfes are fun, the SPP from a TD will be more useful in the next game. So a single elf is surfed and we get in scoring position. But the pickup fails. The elves start with a dodge, which fails. The touchdown seems unlikely. Let's have some fun - two elves surfed. That was enough. Pickup, hand-off, two GFIs and PRINCE scores the 3-0. TD, with only two elves left on the field to watch it. But given the high TV difference, lucky armour and injury rolls, the victory better not leave the FAMILY with a feeling of overconfidence...

After the match:
Mummy MOM is MVP and gets Break Tackle
Wights PRINCE gets +AG
Ex-Dark Elves Runner MITRAILLETTE joined the FAMILY as a Zombie after being killed during the game, but is immediately sacked after the game.
”