“The Anchorage Eskimos returned on Thursday morning, after a hiatus from the pitch. Busy with such trivialities as baseball and basketball, they eventually re-gathered under the leadership of coach fivehead to take on the ever-feathered Pasiegas for an international matchup.

The Eskimos came out with the intention to maim this fair morning. While the athletic Amazons led by coach miguis proved resilient, conditioned, and quick-witted, the Eskimos were able to win a war of attrition in the first half, allowing #12 lineman Eardwulf Martinovic to sneak up the wide end of the field. He delivered a brutal stiff-arm to the lanky #8 Arnkatla Mink before running to the endzone.

The Anchorage defense faltered in the second half, however, allowing the pasiegas to score after a time-eating struggle and failed pick up attempt by Brooks Clement. Coach fivehead was seen shouting furiously from the sidelines at Clement, whose approach to the ball was admittedly sloppy, which undoubtedly led to the late second-half TD for the Amazons.

Despite a strong, pep-talk fueled last drive for the Eskimos, they couldn't carry the pigskin past the redzone, the game ultimately ending with Cassidy Hailey's fumbling of a last-second hand off attempt for the winning TD.

After the game, fivehead seemed more mild-mannered.

"I'm happy to take the draw today," he said, "there's some things we have to work on, film to look at-- certainly. But I can't chalk up no win to Cassidy not pulling us through last second. The guys are a little rusty, sure, but so am I after coming out of the break. I'm thankful to coach miguis for a good clean game, and wish him the best with his team."”