“Bugg'r it! I got a spot on my Boyz undies again. Hm gotta stop eating while... oh what, we on air already?

*harkle harkle*

Yee-haaa! 'Tis 'nother match report brought to ya by yer fav commentator Spunkin O'Blogg, courtesy of the RTBBN Channel 9. Buy their stuff and keep me employed.

Arrr, speakin' of on the air, everyone's fav green git Oafie really lived up to expectations today with two aerobatical goals. Go Oafie!

*waves the underwear about*

So as we 'e're havin it, The Boyz faced off gainst nine horned beasts of Khorne today. A horde of huffin n puffin cows of block'n'guard mania. Pure lunacy from the Boyz coach in accepting this challenge. Don't we all love him? Go coach!

*puts on undies again*

The fans were jittery already pregame at the sight of the chaos team warming up and flexing all that high octane muscle. Chaos coach Naama performed teaminspection with a wicked grin. No doubt he could smell the anxiety from the Boyz fans. The grin likely got nastier when it was announced that the Boyz troll Sploogekanon Jr. had been arrested after some elvish ordeal the night before. The Boyz were hitting up the field with only Grumps as anchor. Much wailing was heard from Boyz fans. Much cheering was heard from the chaos fans.

The anxiety of the gobo players must've made em more jittery than normal, cause at the kickoff they instantly took off before the chaos team even got done salivating over their potential gobo lunch. It's a BLITZ!

Alas with a defensive setup the Boyz couldn't do much more than blitz a beastman and run a gobo deep to put some pressure on the ball. The chaos responded with some inaccurate blocking and a failed attempt to pick up the ball. Boyz moved their force forward, concentrating on the top part of the field, and managed to knock down the only chaos with tackle. Helmet Harry promptly placed his steelclad right in that special spot.

The foulee victim writhed in pain clutching the family heirlooms, surely thinking, will there ever be any more calves? Chaos medic rushed to his rescue with icefilled underwear, which just about got the poor beastman up n going again. Boyz fans boo.

Jefferson the mino start off chaos turn three with a mighty blitz, sending O'bugg'r'it into the dugout with a niggling injury. The chaos move their cage foward into a spread out fashion.

The Boyz retort by once again pounding on the tackle beastman. Pounding most cleverly as they use the beastman to push a goblin into contact with the ballholding chaos player. With an assist and some help from Nuffle the gobos manage to knock over the beastman, and Foot'n'alf seizes the loose ball, sprinting toward the TD zone. Meanwhile Lucky decides to also plant his steelclads in some squishy beastman oodles. Unfortunately the ref is awake and sends Lucky off the pitch, and the beastman isn't even hurt. Lucky schmucky. Pffft.

The chaos now must blitz down ballholding Foot'n'alf or the Boyz are gonna score! Chaos warrior Viserys rushes toward Foot'n'alf but doesn't quite make it all the way due to an old injury. The Boyz can smell a goal now, but Foot'n'alf botches up his dodging and falls flat on his face and badly hurts himself.

The chaos players, still somewhat tied up, are not able to safeguard the loose ball. Jefferson does manage to BH another goblin who just happened to be loitering in the wrong place. The Boyz are down to 7 players on field now against the chaos 8.

Unfazed, the goblins successfully snatch the ball but once again fail at dodging clear of chaos tackle zones. Chaos continue pounding, desperately trying to secure the ball so dangerously close to their own TD zone. Jefferson almost-kills Stellar Steve, who is rescued by snotling smelling salts in the last instant. Grumps throws a worried look at coach Khaan, surely wondering what is up.

Now Helmet Harry pulls off a daredevil move, scooping up the groundball despite three chaos players guarding it, dodges out and in a flash of brilliance throws it clear to the other side of the field. Thus denying the chaos a chance at a secure play forward in their next turn.

In the next last round the chaos manage to set up a beastman next to the sideline ball, thinking it is surely safe now at least. Such hybris from these overgrown anabolic beasts!

Splat the goblin, driven mad by his low agility, dodges out of reach of a huge chaoswarrior, and lowering his shoulder he slams right into the ballguarding beastman. The taller they are the taller they... uhm darnit, the beastman is only pushed back by the crazed onslaught. However, this somewhat creates a clear way to the ball. Katatonik sees the opportunity, and in the last few seconds of the first half he snatches the ball from the infuriated beastman, dodges away from the same, and throws himself into the TD zone.

It's a GOOOOOOOOOO-AL !

The stadium trembles under the roar from goblinoid fans gone absolutely bonkers at the sight of this completely insane play gone totally right. Wrroooarr! An unfortunate snack vendor falls victim to goblin secret weaponry in praise of Nuffle.


Second half starts off with still brilliant bashin weather.

The Boyz now bring in Oafie on the pitch to strengthen their push. Clocking in at a mere eight players total he is a most welcome addition versus the full strength chaos team. A chaos team that cleverly use their strength advantage to set up a scrimmage line that the Boyz have no chance at safely bringing down, not without the apprehended troll. Instead the Boyz set up for a throw team mate attempt, with Grumps just a yard back from scrimmage and Oafie just behind him.

Chaos kick off, ball landing infront of Grumps, but fortunately the goblins are quick and snappy and manage to get a yard headstart. Thusly Oafie catches the kickoff. Grumps instantly picks Oafie up and tosses him deep. Oafie scores without a sweat. It's 2-0 for the Boyz!

The chaos play it safe, set up a cage and score without too much a problem in their next push. Their minotaur Jefferson finally gets it right and manage to kill Stellar Steve, again. Another goblin is badly hurt in the process. The goblins are up in score, but down in players. With almost a full half still to go it's lookin bleak for the green gits.

To every greenskins joy the chaos manage a kickoff touchback, which Oafie takes care of. Grumps throws him deep once again, and once again Oafie scores. 3-1 in the Boyz favor!

The chaos coach now surely knows he can't play safe with cages if he wants to win this. The need for speed!

The chaos badly hurt another goblin, but after a botched passing attempt by the chaos, Oafie snatches the ball and Grumps tosses him to the lower centerfield. The ball is now out of reach of the chaos with a mere two rounds to go.

Goblinoid fans continue to wreak havoc at the away arena at the sight of their team scoring yet another win against unlikely odds. Final score is written to 3-1 for the Boyz. Foot'n'alf is given the MVP award, but fans vote Oafie as the most valuable player. Not surprising with stunning dodgery, gutsy plays and beautiful aerial moves resulting in two touchdowns. Honorary award goes to Grumps for some spiffy tossing skills.

Coach Naama was postgame heard commenting "Rrrragh. Goblins much slicker than we thought. Must kill.... faster ....next time. Grrrk."

Enjoyable game, but somehow it feels like the Boyz coach is gonna have to rebuild the team before there is a next time.

Spunkin O'Blogg out. I needs to wash this underwear now before the elvish groupies arrive.”