“After the success of the last chaos visit, another chaos side was readily lined up to face a Chainsaw team on a winning streak, with the mean, green, scoring machine this time playing away. Having scored in his last, er, numerous games, Razor was widely anticipated to star in a glittering victory over a side who looked dangerous in the block but not with the ball. A huge crowd of green bloods and underlings were in good voice, enjoying the miserable weather and expecting an action packed, violent spectacle.

Lord Cthulhu elected to kick to the 'Saws, who gladly received. In typical fashion, they blitzed down the wing and the ball was thrown to Razor who lined up another inevitable score. Suddenly, the orcs started to drop as the chaos horde unstoppably ran down the team and then Razor. He was knocked down, the ball bobbled, and fortunately Steam picked it up to run in the touchdown. A shell shocked Sta'nac was badly hurt in the process and forced to sit out the rest of the game.

Coach Chainsaw looked gobsmacked. That just does not happen to the Chainsaw, and especially not to Razor. Warily, the team lined up without the troll and anticipated service-as-normal on the restart. Before the ball had even hit the ground, no less than half the Chainsaw team were crumpled in the grass. To their credit, they got up, then got knocked back down. Then they got up, and got knocked back down. Steam managed to get his hands on the ball carrier a couple of times, but then each time he'd get knocked down and their big handed Beastman would retreive the ball. With seconds to spare, the Aislnigs equalised. Bruised and batted with a black orc now sidelined alongside the troll, the away side trudged wearily in for the half-time break. The only time they'd been on their feet was when the sun broke out and briefly distracted the home side, but it did not take them long to regain their concentration.

I'm told the half-time team talk went something like, "I know they seemed to have more energy and strength, and a ridiculous knack of successfully knocking you boys down, but it can't last the full game. You can steal the ball to go on and win it once they tire." They didn't tire; the second half was even worse with the Chainsaw missing two of their stronger players.

Still, a valiant effort by the orcs *cough* bowling pins *cough* managed to somehow keep the Chaos Aislings at bay until late in the second half, but eventually they relentlessly bulldozed into the score zone. There was no stopping them. However, there was just enough time on the clock for a Razor special, and just enough orcs to shield him. Just as he was racing down the line, the unstoppable chaos team smashed through the shield and provided an obstacle that even the great Razor could not elude. The whistle blew, the game was lost, and the fans took great delight at the complete physical beating they'd witnessed.

Coach Chainsaw only had one comment to make after the game, "Y'know what, I'm pleased with the result because there were no bad injuries - in a game that brutally one-sided, I'd have expected to line up the body bags for my greenskins."

When asked whether he'd sell Razor after he failed to score, the coach replied, "I'll keep him on for one more game. He'd better start performing though."

On whether he thought his job was on the line, the coach said, "I don't think there's any chance of me being fired." When asked why not and whether he'd talked to the chairman since the end of the match, he arrogantly spurted, "I am the chairman!"

One reporter was rumoured to have approached Razor on his inability to score in this game and what he'll do to overcome his goal drought. That reporter has been uncontactable since.

In other news a person, thought to be male, was taken to the local apothecary, beaten beyond all recognition. The only belongings found on him (or her) were the remains of a camera (broken), a notepad (torn), and a pencil (bitten). If anybody thinks they know who this might be, please contact the local authorities and organise to have them returned to die painfully elsewhere.”