“Das wuz mie furst game aned it wosn't such a guud one. I did like da coach tuld me ta du and i sot on da bench all game oontill Seethe gut 'it by un ov dose toilet paper monsters. Most ov da game waz me team mates pushin der players round da field den when day go day smash mie poor freunds into the ground. Plod gots 4 trows in but day never seemed to get novare. Well I guss we played perty goood but day just was playin bedder.

-Stumpy Growngauger (Profecional Bench warmer)”