Dodge
+MA
Leap
Shadowing
Sprint
The talented Johann Wolfgang von Goethe never realised his full potential as a bloodbowler until his last match, which was played against the Wicker Men. With injuries consistantly hampering his ability to play, the final round of SWL Season 9 was allways going to mean his swansong. The fact that the game was against the diabolical Wicker Men seemed certain to confirm that. Knowing he only had 80 minutes left in his career seemed to inspire Johann. Every time the Germans kicked off, he would push the younger Rats out of his way, to make sure he got every opportunity to get in the face of the two opposing Mummies. For 15 turns he battled them, and anyone else who took his fancy. Twice he was forced from the field after being knocked out, but each time he ran back onto the field at the first opportunity, determined to take his position on the line of scrimmage. With the Germans behind by 1, and time running out, Johann knew that good defense wasn't going to be enough. He screamed at Manfred for the ball off the kick return, and once he had it in hand, nothing could stop him. Leaping over the Tanguy Tremaynson and Allyn Clustfeinad in a flash, he dodged away, and ran his furry little legs down, down, way way downfield, until crossing into the Endzone. With a draw safely secured, and his name forever up in lights Johann wandered back to the Line of Scrimmage for one last time, thinking about his upcoming pension. "Life is going to be good," he thought to himself as he sank into a squat, smirking at the festering Undead in front of him. The ball was kicked, and Johann took a glancing blow from one of the Mummies. "Only a scratch," he thought to himself. As the crowd began to count down the final 10 seconds, Johann allowed himself to relax. A few aches & pains, but in comparison to alot of other players, he had escaped his career relatively unharmed. And then he heard it. From the Coaches Box came the cry "Foul him!! Hack the bone!!!". Johann realised his grevious error - his Coach didn't want to pay out his pension, and was prepared to sink to any depths to avoid it. As the Zombie's boot came crushing down on his skull, Johann's final thought was to praise the Fatherland, and thank Nuffle for being able to take part in the sport of Kings. RIP Johann.
Note for any members of the German Vermin reading this obituary: Severance pay and pensions for outgoing players are not a right, they are a privilege awarded to those who perform above and beyond the call of duty. While Johann's last game was particularly good,it wasn't outstanding, and the Coach decreed his demands for money unacceptable. If you want money, keep playing. If you want to keep playing, don't get injured. Next!
GREATEST MOMENT: Scoring a OTT to draw <a href="http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=match&op=view&id=758027">the game</a> in the 2nd last turn against the Wicker Men, in the Vermin's last game of Season 9. Died the very next turn due to unrealistic pay demands (foul actually carried out by one of the many Wicker Dirty Players).