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[L] Tzeentch!
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The year was 1930, and like many people during the Great Depression, Colonel Harland Sanders was struggling to make ends meat. Times were tough, and folks didn't have a nickel to spare at his roadside fried chicken eatery. However, the Colonel, who earned his title in the trenches of the Great War, never let a little hardship stand in his way. He had seen some messed up stuff in those trenches, not least of which was what seemed to be the Nazi's performing a demonic ritual and summoning a dark lord from another dimension. "Tzeentch" the creature called itself, and he thought perhaps if he could recreate this ritual he might be able to keep his tasty chicken business from going under. The Colonel left his business in the hands of his brother and traveled to Germany in search of any information on the demon and it's rituals. He investigated ancient Nazi texts, which dated back to before even the first civilizations of man, but information on the demon was scarce. Though he wasn't proud of it, he was desperate for information and resorted to using his torture skills he picked up back in the trenches. Years went by and eventually he learned of an up and coming Nazi named Adolf who had been granted mysterious powers by the demon. The only problem with this new information was that the one known as Adolf was surrounded by guards 24/7, making confronting him impossible. It wasn't long before another World War broke out, and Adolf was guarded closer than ever. Harland thought back to his little cafe in Kentucky and longed for a simpler time, and for the first time in years he decided to cook some fried chicken. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door - it was Adolf Hitler himself! "Vhat is zis most amazing smell that ticklez my noztrils so!" Exclaimed Hitler as he burst open the door. "Mr. Hitler, i am but a humble chicken chef from Kentucky, here in Germany to partake in the sex tourism industry," he lied. "I must taste zis chicken at once!" Hitler demanded. After biting into the flesh of this freshly cooked chicken seasoned with 11 herbs and spices, Hitler was brought to tears. He had never tasted something so full of flavour and zing and felt moved. "Zis chicken has made me see ze error of my ways, I shall have my men march into Russia in Vinter in order to end zis foolish war!" and with that Hitler and his men marched out the door. But as he closed the door behind him, a little black book with crawling tentacles fell out of his pocket and onto the doormat. This was what Colonel Sanders had been looking for, the demonic Book of Tzeentch. The Colonel immediately grabbed the book and opened it, and was transported to a dark and twisted dimension. "FOOL!" A voice exclaimed, "You have made a grave mistake in entering my domain! Prepare to suffer for eternity!" and suddenly twisted tentacle claws wrapped around the Colonel and began to squeeze the life from his body. The claws gripped tighter and tore into his flesh as they pulled him up above the face of this massive demon. Below him was a giant opened mouth, filled with thousands of razor like teeth that had horrible creatures lurking within them. As he was about the lose consciousness, a single remaining piece of chicken fell from the Colonels pocket and into the demons mouth. Suddenly the demons menacing roars turned into moans of delight. "YES! YES! YEEESSSSSS!" cried the demon, "I NEED MORE! HUMAN, YOU NOW SERVE THE MIGHTY TZEENTCH! I SHALL MAKE YOUR WILDEST DREAMS COME TRUE, AND IN RETURN YOU SHALL BE MY SLAVE FOR ETERNITY!" And so the legend of Colonel Sanders was born, taking the world by storm and contributing to obesity one bucket of chicken at a time. For many years the business ran smoothly, with minimal interaction with Tzeentch (aside from regular shipments of delectable KFC specialty chicken). However, in the year 2018, the Colonel was called upon to represent Tzeentch on the Bloodbowl pitch. Tzeentch has offered him a chance to break free of his otherworldly clutches by leading his team to victory, or otherwise suffer an unimaginably terrible fate. |
New Team Page Beta
| Player | Ma | St | Ag | Av | Skills | Inj | G | Cp | Td | It | Cs | Mvp | SPP | Cost | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |
The Changeling
|
4 | 5 | 1 | 9 | Always Hungry, Loner, Mighty Blow, Pro, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate Claw, Block |
13 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 8 | 2 | 29/31 | 180k
(130+50)k |
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| 2 |
Tzeentch Warriors
|
5 | 4 | 3 | 9 | Extra Arms, Hypnotic Gaze Block |
13 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 14/16 | 130k
(110+20)k |
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| 3 |
Tzeentch Warriors
|
5 | 4 | 3 | 9 | Extra Arms, Hypnotic Gaze Block, Mighty Blow, Guard |
13 | 1 | 6 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 34/51 | 170k
(110+60)k |
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| 4 |
Tzeentch Warriors
|
5 | 4 | 3 | 9 | Extra Arms, Hypnotic Gaze Block, Mighty Blow |
13 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 23/31 | 150k
(110+40)k |
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| 5 |
Tzeentch Warriors
|
5 | 4 | 3 | 9 | Extra Arms, Hypnotic Gaze Block |
5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 9/16 | 130k
(110+20)k |
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| 6 |
Tzaangors
|
7 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Big Hand, Extra Arms, Horns Dodge, Block, Mighty Blow, +MA |
13 | 2 | 10 | 0 | 3 | 4 | 58/76 | 180k
(80+100)k |
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| 7 |
Tzaangors
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Big Hand, Extra Arms, Horns Block, Guard |
11 | 1 | 4 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 28/31 | 120k
(80+40)k |
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| 8 |
Tzaangors
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Big Hand, Extra Arms, Horns Pass, Dodge |
5 | 11 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 16/31 | 130k
(80+50)k |
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| 9 |
Tzaangors
|
7 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Big Hand, Extra Arms, Horns Block, +MA |
4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 17/31 | 130k
(80+50)k |
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| 11 |
Familiars
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6 | 1 | 3 | 6 | Dodge, Foul Appearance, Right Stuff, Stunty, Titchy |
11 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 30k
(30+0)k |
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| 12 |
Familiars
|
6 | 1 | 3 | 6 | Dodge, Foul Appearance, Right Stuff, Stunty, Titchy |
-st, m | 13 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 30k
(0)k |
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| 13 |
Familiars
|
6 | 1 | 3 | 6 | Dodge, Foul Appearance, Right Stuff, Stunty, Titchy |
1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 30k
(30+0)k |
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| 11 players (+1 player missing next game) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Games Played: | 13 (10/2/1) | | | TD Diff: | 18 (27 - 9) | | | Cas Diff: | 6 (18/10/4 - 15/5/6) |
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| Last Opponent: Why'd It Have to Be Sneks! | |||||||
| Opponent | # | Record | TD | Cas | TV | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| W/D/L | Avg | Avg | Avg diff | ||||||
| Kislev | 1 | 1/0/0 | 2.0 | - | 1.0 | 2.0 0.0 0.0 | - | 0.0 1.0 0.0 | 120k |
| Daemons of Khorne | 2 | 2/0/0 | 4.0 | - | 1.0 | 2.5 1.0 0.5 | - | 2.0 0.0 0.0 | 355k |
| Engineers | 1 | 0/0/1 | 0.0 | - | 2.0 | 1.0 0.0 0.0 | - | 0.0 0.0 1.0 | 20k |
| Lahmian | 2 | 1/1/0 | 2.0 | - | 1.5 | 2.0 1.5 0.0 | - | 0.5 0.0 1.0 | -100k |
| Nippon | 3 | 2/1/0 | 1.7 | - | 0.3 | 0.7 0.3 0.0 | - | 2.3 0.3 0.0 | 13k |
| Northern Nippon | 2 | 2/0/0 | 2.0 | - | 0.0 | 0.5 0.5 1.5 | - | 1.0 1.0 1.5 | -30k |
| Snakemen | 2 | 2/0/0 | 2.0 | - | 0.0 | 1.5 1.5 0.0 | - | 0.5 0.5 0.0 | 110k |
| Total | 13 | 10/2/1 | 2.1 | - | 0.7 | 1.4 0.8 0.3 | - | 1.2 0.4 0.5 | 65k |