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Banoffee pie Bananza
Retired [X] Halfling

Ingredients
1.5 packets of chocolate hobnobs
1 pint double cream
2 400g tins of condensed milk
4 large bananas
3 tbsp butter

Immerse the tins of condensed milk in a saucepan full of boiling water. Do Not Pierce The Tins. Do Not Let The Water Boil Away. They should be completely covered with water at all times, or the tins will probably explode. Funny, but only when it happens to someone else. They need to gently boil about 2.5-3 hours.

Open hobnobs, and eat about half a packet. You probably shouldn't watch TV at this point, or not enough hobnobs will survive.

Destroy the remaining biscuits however you prefer. My favoured method is to run them over with a steamroller, while laughing manically, but bashing them with a rolling pin in a jug works equally well.

Gently melt the butter in a small saucepan.

Add the crushed hobnobs to the butter, and mix evenly.

Empty the butter/hobnob mix into a sensibly sized cake tin (ours is 9" round, and a couple of inches deep), smooth down, and put in the fridge.

Watch TV for a couple of hours, and curse yourself for eating all the spare hobnobs earlier. If you're stuck for something to watch, I highly recommend a couple of eps of Monkey Dust, or any badly dubbed kung fu movie. You should periodically move the tins of condensed milk around the pan, and keep the water level topped up.

After they've been boiling for about 2.5 hours, remove the tins from the boiling water, and cool them under a tap. Carefully open them with a tin opener (you'll probably get some toffee goo burst out, but this will only hurt if you didn't cool the tins properly).

Empty the first tin onto the base, which should now be nice and solid, and spread evenly

Chop the bananas into this first layer of toffee goo.

Empty the second tin onto the banana layer, and spread evenly.
Whip the cream until peaks start to form. If you're sensible, you'll use an electric whisk thingy, or it'll take hours.

Evenly spread the cream onto the pie.

Finish off with a little grated chocolate, or some hot chocolate powder for decoration.

Marvel at having made a pie that weighs over 2kg. Best not show anyone though, or they'll want some.

Leave in the fridge for at least 2 hours to properly cool.

Eat. Mmm, pie.
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
"Juicy Fruit" Berry
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   22 0 0 0 2 0 4/ 30k
(15)k
  
2
Hammie Trotter
Halfling
5 1 3 5
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Diving Tackle
 n, -st, -av, m 21 1 0 0 0 1 6/ 50k
(0)k
  
3
Teddy Tootsiefoot
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 30k
(15)k
  
4
"Jammy Dodger" Jam
Halfling
5 2 4 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
+AG
   5 1 0 0 0 2 11/ 70k
(15)k
  
5
"Roly-poly" Ollie
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Block, Diving Tackle
 n 23 0 1 0 2 2 17/ 80k
(13)k
  
6
Dudly Dumplingfoot
Halfling
5 2 2 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Side Step, Block
 -ag, m 19 0 0 0 1 3 17/ 80k
(0)k
  
7
Perry Pickle
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 30k
(15)k
  
8
"Wee" Willy Winky
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   2 1 0 0 0 0 1/ 30k
(15)k
  
9
Merry Manicfeet
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
 n, m 21 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 30k
(0)k
  
10
Sammie Sugarchops
Halfling
5 2 3 5
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
 -av, m 1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 30k
(0)k
  
11
Chilton Chow
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Catch, Sure Feet
   23 2 5 0 0 1 22/ 70k
(15)k
  
12
Tubs Stoutfoot
Halfling
6 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Catch, +MA
   14 0 6 0 0 1 23/ 80k
(25)k
  
13
Peter Pan
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   4 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 30k
(15)k
  
15
"Weeping Willow" Hollowtrunk
Treeman
2 6 2 10
Big Guy, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Take Root, Thick Skull, Throw Team Mate
+AG, Block
   23 0 0 0 8 0 16/ 180k
(143)k
  
16
Looseroot Winterleaves
Treeman
2 6 1 10
Big Guy, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Take Root, Thick Skull, Throw Team Mate
Block, Piling On, Tackle
   23 0 0 0 9 3 33/ 190k
(150)k
  
11 players (+4 players missing next game)  
Coach: Pudgy-Plumcheeks Re-Rolls (120k): 4  
Race: Halfling Fan Factor: 7  
Current Team Value: 0k Assistant Coaches: 3  
Treasury: 20k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1210k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:23 (2/2/19) |TD Diff:-51 (14 - 65) |Cas Diff:-29 (21/14/6 - 33/28/9)
Last Opponent: Wheee is bacon