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[X2] Human
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In a small and smoky room with low ceilings and the cloying smell of both stale alchohol and stale humanity in one of the less than pristine quarters of Altdorf, a Press Conference of sorts begins to inaugurate the Ministry of Defense's triumphant entry into the well established Northern Waste Blood Bowl Leage, also known at the NWL. "Good Ladies and Gentlemen of the Press, fellow coaches and peers, My name is Gorjo, which is short for Gorjo, and I would just like to take time out right now to thank all of you for making the trip here to help celebrate the birth of the legend that is and will be the Ministry of Defense Blood Bowl Sports franshise." Both members of the audience, each with a press corp ticket tucked into their shirt pocket, eyed the other woondering what each might have done to have been stuck with this job. "Before we get started with the Q&A session," both reporters look down at their blank question list "I would like to make some statements about certain predictions made by the league commissioner about our upcoming game against the so-called 'Wheel of Life' team of tree-huggers. This 'prophecy' of a loss 3-1 is absolutely ridiculous and complaints have allready been filed with the league legal department. Now with the recent acquisition of -" The reporter on the left leans over to whisper to the other reporter," Isn't the NWL legal department nothing more than a deaf and half blind ogre who lost his legs in a match before the league was formed?" His companion nodded quickly in agreement and then added "Yeah, but I heard he died last year and they just haven't moved him outta the office 'cuz of his size and 'cuz of the fact that coaches keep complaining to him without realizing he is dead. Something to do with the look on the ogres face - apparently he always looks dead or something." The first reporter nodded sagely in agreement and turned back, once again expertly pretending to listen. "- and lastly, there is NO chance in hell, and I know hell believe me, that some pansy 'Wheel of Life' heathen blasphemer woodies can overcome the daring, skill and faith of the Ministry! Now, the floor is open for questions!" The two helpless souls before the podium of of beer crates sigh deeply in resignation. "Mama said there would be days like this..." one mutters under his breath. ************************************************************* Once again we return to the dark back alley bar with the coach of Altdorf's own Ministry of Defense. A third reporter has joined the audience, having watched the season opening doubleheader matches played by the Ministry from the sidelines as a private guest of Ministry blitzer Bishop Payne, apparently he drank to many ales from concessions and has passed out under the last bench in the room. 'Coach!' both of the returning reporters yell together. Coach Gorjo nods the the one on the left, "You there, you ask first, and for Sigmar's sake please, one question at a time, I can barely hear over the roar of all the questions yelled by this many members of the press corp. By now, the reporters have become accustomed to the Coach's odd inability to see that there are only 2 of them. They both think it may have something to do with the bizarre outcomes of the first two games. "Coach Gorjo, concerning the first game against the Wheel', what are your thought on the repeated failures of your longball corp?" "Next question, uhhhh......you." says Coach Gorjo, now pointedly ignoring the first reporter and his questions while nodding to the second reporter. "Oh, uh, ok. My first question" coach Gorjo's eyes light up at the uttereance of 'first;, the prospect of more questions building up his hopes for his teams future with the fans, if not with the endzone, "why is it that even after the Wheels' team had been reduced to only 3 opposing players on the pitch, did your team still find it so difficulty to score? Incompetence?" The look in the coach's eyes cools quickly. "Sorry folks, I know you all traveled from many far away places for the chance to glimpse the team and ask some questions, but I have just been informed that the team is going to a special training camp near the Vampire Counts territory and our wagon train is leaving any moment now. Press conference is over. Good day." "Coach - Coach! Wait! One more question please!" Coach Gorjo halts at the door to the main bar area, hand frozen in mid reach for an ale a wrinkled feminine hand was offereng thru the doorway. "OK" the coach sighed. "Concerning the match versus the undead. We noticed you screaming at the heavens and shouting something about the Gods of Fate cheating you on something called 'dice rollz'. Are you gambling illegally on your team?" Coach Gorjo pales for a moment. Quickly regaining his composure he responds "No, of course not, dont be ridiculous!" Gorjo then leans forward and whispers something to the owner of the feminine hand with said outstretched ale. The ale quickly vanishes and the sound of quickly retreating footfalls can be heard, followed by the slamming of a door. "I flatly deny any improper actions by myself or anyone on my staff and consider such accusations to be the pitiful scritchings of chickens#%t journalists obviously on the payroll of our lueague opponents!" Coach Gorjo quickly leaves and the main bar door closes. Both reporters exit out of the back way, holding napkins over their noses to hold back the stench of the alley while neatly sidestepping to avoid the piles of human stomach contents that liberally cover the pavement. From the back of the room under a bench can be heard snores, followed intermittantly by mutterances of "Hey, bish, baby, gimme some sugar...." ********************************************************* |
New Team Page Beta
| Player | Ma | St | Ag | Av | Skills | Inj | G | Cp | Td | It | Cs | Mvp | SPP | Cost | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| 1 |
Thrower
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6 | 2 | 4 | 8 | Pass, Sure Hands +AG, Block |
-st | 14 | 9 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 21/ | 130k
(135)k |
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| 2 |
Catcher
|
8 | 2 | 3 | 7 | Catch, Dodge |
5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/ | 70k
(85)k |
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| 3 |
Blitzer
|
7 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block Mighty Blow, Kick, Catch |
16 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 4 | 37/ | 160k
(153)k |
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| 4 |
Catcher
|
8 | 2 | 3 | 7 | Catch, Dodge Block |
14 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 11/ | 90k
(125)k |
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| 5 |
Catcher
|
8 | 2 | 3 | 7 | Catch, Dodge Block, Side Step |
15 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 19/ | 110k
(143)k |
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| 6 |
Thrower
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Pass, Sure Hands Hail Mary Pass, Block |
16 | 11 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 18/ | 110k
(135)k |
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| 8 |
Ogre
|
5 | 5 | 2 | 9 | Big Guy, Bone Head, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Throw Team Mate |
2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/ | 120k
(108)k |
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| 9 |
Lineman
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6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block |
16 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 15/ | 70k
(70)k |
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| 10 |
Catcher
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8 | 2 | 3 | 7 | Catch, Dodge Block |
6 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 9/ | 90k
(125)k |
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| 11 |
Lineman
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6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | 15 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2/ | 50k
(50)k |
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| 12 |
Lineman
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6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block |
15 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 7/ | 70k
(70)k |
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| 13 |
Blitzer
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7 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block Tackle |
11 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 13/ | 110k
(120)k |
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| 14 |
Blitzer
|
7 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block |
12 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2/ | 90k
(95)k |
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| 13 players | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Games Played: | 16 (3/2/11) | | | TD Diff: | -23 (15 - 38) | | | Cas Diff: | -14 (8/10/5 - 19/13/5) |
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| Last Opponent: Blight Swamp Goonies | |||||||