...and hoping that everyone else's holidays involve less mopping up large puddles of urine and vomit at midnight, less bloodied eyeballs hanging out of their sockets, and far less following up apparently spoiled chicken at lunch with curry at dinner the day before, than mine did.

I really wish Santa would just leave coal if you're naughty like he used to...

Heyyy...waitaminnit...I haven't been naughty! In that case, I really wish Santa could keep his address list straight! I wonder who got my pony...